I have been a little naughty and signed up on Gransnet, when I am a parent in need of help but want it from a grans perspective! Please forgive me in advance.
I am a mother to three young children 3, 5 and 5. We live 100 miles away from children's grandparents and only visit during school holidays. Children's time is split between their dad's home, our home and then grandparents. We stayed at grandparents for three weeks this summer. I don't mind their relationship except for a few things: excessive screen time 2hrs plus (t.v and video games) (even close to bed-time) - children are getting addicted and even refuse to go out with me sometimes hoping to play a game, there are new toys at every visit (spoils the toy treat I promise the children once they meet all their sticker charts), bed-time is 9pm+ everyday and ashamed to say, sometimes I feel insecure that my children put their grandmother on the same pedestal as me so for e.g. they take care of their grandmother more than they do for me (getting her drinks, massaging her feet etc.)/granny has told them they are her best-friend and they are to share all their secrets with her (I feel they should share these with me) and sometimes I feel granny does not want me around the kids but I am there to spend time with my kids and holiday there too. Granny's is a holiday house from where we take day-trips around the area. I love it when granny cooks with kids, feeds them, baths them, loves them, tells them stories etc. With my sister's children, my sister drops them at granny's with no rules and granny is allowed to do as she pleases. Sometimes, I feel because I am present in the home it is harder to watch. Please advise on how to overcome my issues - I know granny feels overwhelmed by my presence, I stay tight-lipped but grandparents behave as if they are walking on egg-shells. My mum gets very very sensitive if I am to voice my concerns and may even withdraw totally. How can I overcome my concerns without hurting her feelings?
Is it me or am I getting mixed messages
Scottish island ferries debacle. 🏴
Kate Garroway-Care at home costs