Worried about possible autism

I don't know what to say as it is quite early in your Grandsons development but my Grandson has Autism and all I can say is don't worry , it is something to adjust your world to but he can grow up happy , whole and still reach his HUGE amount of potential within him

Just enjoy him and you will adapt if he does receive a diagnoses of Autism but he is still gifted and an absolute treasure and that will never change xx

I embrace my Grandsons Autism as part of who he is and just try and help him with his anxieties etc together , side by side , and glad he has you on his 'team' x

Did you see Rory Bremner's documentary on ADHD devongirl ? I know he said he didn't feel like himself when he was on medication. The trouble with GS1 is that he's such a one off that I would hate to lose too many of the qualities that make him special.

deedah my AD hwas disgnosed with adult ADHD not long ago; I remember being bemused and troubled by her inability to focus when at school, and it continues to be a problem, though she is seeing a specialist who has tried her on various drugs to try to help.

All of my DGS's are on the spectrum. GS1 was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome when he was in Reception class age 5. My GS2 was diagnosed as Autistic at age 6. GS3 age 4 has no formal diagnosis as yet, but is so like his oldest brother that we are in no doubt he is an Aspie. They are all very intelligent, but we're failing in school as the teachers had no idea how to teach them, or deal with their sensory overload. My DD took them out of school and educates them at home. They are doing really well now, youngest grandson is learning to read even though his speech is not exactly understandable. All lovely boys, I adore them.

Nelliemoser - thanks for the very interesting link

I had the same worries about my grandson. Suffice to say all my worries were in vain. He has changed completely and is now a budding rugby player, loves school and doing very well.

I am still unsure about this issue of an actual increase in cases of autism or if it is down to a much better recognition of the condition .
At one time many children with what we see now as autism was just put down as "educationally subnormal."

www.parents.com/health/autism/history-of-autism/

Thanks again for all the replies, truly heartwarming! Makes me realise how we all have our own little quirks and personalities, and who's to say what 'normal' really is!
Vive la difference! Que sera sera, and DGS will be loved for the little chap he is!

I remember my GS how he would sit hours filling a bucket with pebbles and as you say blanking out adults. He is now a teenager and has lots of friends but still hardly speaks to us or to his aunts and uncles.
When he does speak it is usually when he has somethng important to say and his vocabulary is good and if not, he is quiet.
We all speak English but German is our family language.
When DD1 was about 9 they said her written German was not good enough and we changed over. Children here are used to other languages being spoken and experience it every year on holiday. 2 languages does not cause autism and even autistic tendences fade away as a child develops or it has really been diagnosed and can be dealt with.
I can understad your being worried about it.

Really the problem with GS1 is that in spite of being diagnosed with ASD and ADHD he keeps up with the school work and does very well with some things. The school is happy with this but we wonder what he could achieve if he could actually focus.

We were unaware that there was anything 'wrong' with our youngest until a nursery teacher pointed it out to us. It was the most upsetting time of our lives the way we were treated when we discovered that he was not reaching the standards that everyone else in this world sets.

He does have problems for sure, and is on the autistic spectrum but we are still no further on how far in that spectrum he is. He is now nineteen.

From my experience, leave well alone with suspicions and just be there for them all if it turns out he does indeed require help in life. Be kind. Be helpful. Be there. xx

and even if he is diagnosed as autistic at a later date, he will still be your grandson and you will still love him just the same, I promise you.

My little granddaughter showed signs of autism very early. She was quite indifferent to people. As an infant I would carry her about while I played with her one year old brother and, although she always watched what was going on, she never became excited by anything we did. When she started to walk (13 months) she would find little nooks to squeeze into alone and away from the world - a trait of autism. When she found herself in a situation which overwhelmed her she would cover her ears and close her eyes. She is now eight years old, extremely intelligent and in mainstream school but she still spends a lot of time in her own little world and is completely oblivious to other people unless they matter to her.
It is true that autism is talked about a lot now and the word comes up a lot when a child has issues. But the fact is that there is more of it about than was at first realised.

DS2 was diagnosed with 'mild autism' when he was eleven. This after a very long journey for him and us, badgering for a referral from when he was 8 - we knew something was not right when he was a toddler - he would hide / run away from crowded / busy situations. I could NEVER sit down and have a cup of coffee at a mum's gathering - he always wanted to be 'out of' the crowd. He walked on tiptoes, avoided eye contact, wet the bed at night until he was past seven years, didn't cope at school socially, couldn't sit and engage at family mealtimes, would physically shake with nerves just packing his bag for school in the morning ... There were many, many signs. Initially it was a case of 'Don't believe you / you are over-anxious parents' then, what have YOU done wrong, before proper investigation.

We learned that he is very sensitive to noise - even the clatter of cutlery at a family meal-time was / is hard for him. His senses are very acute so smell, touch, taste etc. are all affected. He approaches life with a very busy - very intelligent mind, but very stressed by 'normal' life. So, like the apparently serene swan, he is paddling furiously just to stay afloat and he tires quickly.

Despite his diagnosis, he was never offered any further support re building social skills - it seems he had this 'label' from the authorities and that was all. He now suffers anxiety and depression that impact on him being able to sustain full-time employment.

For years I was made to question my own parenting. The fact that we had three other healthy, happy children made me able to believe I was not a terrible parent, but it has been a hard road. I think we have had to be 'pushy' parents along the way - and now, given the dire state of mental health support, we continue to have to jump up and down to get things moving for him ... Grrrr.

My GS was diagnosed with Aspergers at 7 after problems at school and meltdowns at home. He was taken out of school one day each week and went to a centre where he was taught how to cope and socialise. He went on to do very well and graduated from Cambridge. It wasn't until GS was diagnosed that my son, his father, realised that he too was autistic. I'd always known that he was " different " but put it down to his being of very high I.Q. When I read up on the symptoms of autism, generally unknown all those years ago, I realised that there were signs going back to pre birth. He seldom moved in the womb, he never cried to be fed, he never looked at me when breast feeding and was a very reluctant feeder. He didn't say a single word until he was three and then started talking fluently as soon as he went to play group. He made no friends at primary or junior school, none until he was put into an express stream at a grammar school where he was with other extremely clever children and bonded with them. I wish I'd known about autism way back then. As it was, I always thought that he was as he was because I'd been a useless mother and failed to bond with my baby. Now I realise that this is a trait that has passed down the male line of the family and that my OH is almost certainly autistic as well. It explains a lot but doesn't make him any easier to live with!

Perhaps we all have a little autism in us and it might manifest at certain times in our life just for short periods.

Both my DGS are on the spectrum. Both were early talkers, walked normally and had no problem with eye contact. One, however has incredible meltdowns if everything isn't in order, from quite an early age. The other was absolutely fine until Reception class in school but now has intense interests in particular subjects and his conversation tends to reflect thus, which has made it difficult for him socially. While I'm a great believer in early diagnosis for lots of things, I'm with those in here who say keep a record of behaviour that concerns you and watch how he develops. The downside to early labelling is that people's expectations sometimes change.
As soon as they decided that DGS2 was on the spectrum the teachers (and his mum) used that as an excuse for him not making progress. So he went into school and was assessed as very bright with an excellent vocabulary. At the end of Year R and Y1 he was well behind where he should have been, knowing few letter sounds either to read or to write. In the end I had to step in and teach him myself.

Children that are brought bilingual, are slower in communication because they are processing 2 languages. You will finds suddenly they start talking in both.

My 2 daughters grew up speaking engish and german, and as described above, there was a delay in their speaking. Both are now in their 30's with university degrees. The paediatrician had his doubts with my first daughter, but besides the speech, he could not find any other problems. With the 2nd child he seemed to realise that all would be OK.

I can understand why you are worried aquafish but it is hard to tell whether children are simply shy. If he is still interested in everything it is very reassuring.
As teetime suggests, the Health Visitor should pick up a real problem in development tests. Once he goes to a playgroup or a nursery I hope that he'll become better at meeting new people, but if he doesn't it will be obvious and it is possible that the staff there will raise the matter.
My oldest daughter didn't speak properly until 3 years old, but then spoke in sentences within a week. I think that we had made the mistake of understanding what she meant without her needing to make an effort. When we visited a relative she couldn't make him understand and had to use real words to communicate with him.
My youngest GD still can't say many clear words at 3 but is obviously very friendly and animated so none of us are really worried, though she does see a speech therapist. She gabbles all the time but can't make aspirated sounds (sh, d, t etc.)

I think it is important to keep the triad of symptoms in mind; problems with communication (not just language), problems with social interaction and repetitive behaviour. It is, of course, a syndrome from people who can function well in the world through to people who will never speak, have very little communication and can have very distressing behaviours.
I think the media tends to promote the idea of the brilliant person with Asperger's whereas the reality is far more complex and very difficult to deal with.
I feel so sorry for my son, DiL and my grandson because everything is such a struggle.

My DGS has autism. The first sign was at your grandson's age which was him blanking people. There is a but here, he didn't walk until he was sixteen months and then on tippy toes. It sounds as if your DGS is walking normally. Also he was very late speaking and when he did, he would recite the script of a Thomas the Tank Engine story and not actually make conversation. I'd watch out for anything further that concerns you. I'm sure he's fine, but early intervention and help was invaluable once the HV got involved when he was two and a half.

DS spoke just before 1, but then shut up and refused to say a word. GGM (a nurse) diagnosed him as tongue-tied, later confirmed. We wondered if he had hearing difficulties, but didn't seem so. Eventually started making up for lost time until family trauma led to him being diagnosed as Aspergers. Still seen by some as a "bit of an oddity", but only a useful label in his case. I genuinely think that both DH and I (both only children and precocious) might well have been labelled as AS, had such existed in the 50s/60s!

I had the same problem, to say something or not. When my g/s was about 12 months my daughter sent me a questionnaire and asked me to do it. We both had the score for a child with autism. We had a hard time getting people's to take us serious but my daughter is like a bulldog, and with it in the family we got the referral when he was 18 months rather than the usual 24-36 months. If you feel there's a problem say something you son and daughter might have noticed something but as first timers aren't sure if this is OK. If your wrong happy days if your not you can get him referral. My g/s is fine in a school suited to his needs. We live in N.I. were there are waiting lists for everything so having an early diagnosis made all the difference.

I spent sleepless nights worrying over GD's delay in talking and then all of a sudden at 2yrs plus she started speaking and it was as if she'd just absorbed everything that she'd heard in the past - no worries at all now.