Worried about possible autism

Aquafish you may find this recent thread useful.
www.gransnet.com/forums/grandparenting/1240051-Does-he-have-autism
I did have to speak up about my grandson's ASD, so there is a different perspective here. I didn't say anything until he was about four, but in the end I had to do the right thing for him, so that he could get the help he needed. As I suggested on the other thread, I would quietly keep notes of your observations in case they are needed later. My grandson is also bilingual and it does complicate the diagnosis a bit.

A huge thank you to everyone for all your wise words! It's been a big help in making me realise that A. it's not my job to speak to parents about any concerns; and B it's far too early to tell any way. I intend to enjoy every minute with my gorgeous GS, be considerate of his shyness and give him time to get used to the family. And yes, he does point to objects, so that's great!

I don't agree that you should be looking for things wrong at either 15 or 19 months old Especially when its so vague as not talking and being shy about meeting strangers for the first time ... my friends son is very autistic at 6 but he loves cuddles even with strangers, gives eye contact with no problem and has no walking on toes etc but his speech is only just starting to be understandable and he's also only just starting to understand toileting Even on the autistic spectrum it's can be very diverse

And 15 & 19 months is a big difference in terms of pointing at objects of interest!

19 months old. My eldest is severely autistic and TBH you tend not to relax if you spot something wrong. But as soon as my younger kids started pointing I did relax.

She should relax anyway he's only 15 months old, a baby

Does he point to objects of interest using his index finger? (So for example if he sees a dog in the park, or a plane - would he point to it?)

That's a fairly key skill/indicator that should be in place by 18 months. If he's doing that you can relax.

I think people are going over the top 'looking' for autism nowadays
15 months is a baby he will do all sorts of funny things before you need imagining he is on some spectrum or other Don't look for problems Relax and let him be what's he will be There is so much pressure to do this that and the other at the same point or age as everyone else we are all individuals and things will happen differently for all
So in answer to your question No you don't say anything to his parents there is no way you can tell at 15 months so forget autism, ADHD, aspergers and every other possible 'spectrum' problem

My son did not say much at all until he was over two. but he clearly understood everything.
Then he saw the "big (drain cleaning) lorry with the light on top" and didn't look back. It gave him something to talk about.

Children that age do have all kinds of odd behaviours. I think how he behaves with people he does know a better thing to focus on. Cousin of mine used to hide under table when visitors came. Seems to be a pretty normal 40 year old now.

GS3 has been brought up bilingual and his parents did worry that he seemed to be late talking. He's nearly 4 now and you can't shut him up in either language!

On the other hand GS1 who is on the spectrum talked very articulately from the beginning. He just has lots of other issues!

apologies for spelling mistakes, which I failed to spot in the preview!

Ex-HV here (worked mostly with families who used moe than one language) although I know that development checks now vary from area to area, so won't advice on when one is due.

Way too young to see all but the most obvious of autistic traits, so I would not be concerned yet.

I became very aware that in a monolingual culture, such as large parts of the UK, we often perceive language development very differently from most of the world (and a good part of the UK).

Children brought up in bi-lingual families (talking broadly here as that covers many different ways of using language) are sometimes a bit later with 'expressive' language (ie: talking). At early language stages, they can also sometimes behave as you are describing as they process information.

I wrote about this on an earlier thread: whilst it is important to get early help for children with ASD, it often cannot be diagnosed early. What you are describing falls within normal development, so I would definitely advise 'watch and wait' whilst his development unfolds.

I think that many toddlers are shy and withdrawn when meeting a lot of new people or crowded places so I would not read too much into this.

Your gc is also bilingual which often means that talking comes later than with monolingual children as he is absorbing two languages and learning that one "thing" can have two names. Many bilingual children have passive language - ie they appear to understand what people say - before they develop active language.

Just to compare I brought up my children as an English speaking family in Sweden:
DD1 - not shy at all. Early language in English at but totally resisted Swedish refused to speak it at all until school age. Diagnosed with ASD at 6-7.
DD2 - very shy as a toddler. Very late speaking - hardly spoke at all until 2½-3 but then had two equal languages. Not ASD.

Oh Wow Teetime! Im so grateful for your reply, so reassuring and positive! Congratulations to your lovely GD who has done so well. Feel guilty for worrying, hopefully unecessarily now, perhaps that's what we grans do!

Wont this little chap have his development stages measured by the HV - I think that's when things often show up isn't it. Hopefully you are worrying unnecessarily. My GD is quite high or is it low on the autism spectrum ( she is fine but cant deal with new people and crowds) sat on the floor at that age and just rocked continuously and didn't speak much at all until she was 5. She is off to university next week.