Social services

Momof3, my daughter chose to leave. I think she was too young when she had her and sadly never bonded, by her own admission. My husband and I have supported her through her pregnancy right up till now. We hoped the bond would come over time but it's just not there. She loves her like a sister but doesn't seem to like all the practical side that goes with being a parent. She has asked me numerous times over the years to adopt my gd but I always talked her round (or so I thought) as I thought she was just struggling to adjust to parenthood but any chance she got she would just take off for a few hours on a daily basis in the beginning then declared she was leaving 3 months ago.

Is there no chance of your granddaughter being reunited with her mom and maybe does your daughter needs support from social services to make that happen.

The only evidence I have is the contact log I have kept since she left, everything else before that would be my word against hers and the way my gd is with me compared to her mum.

SS look solely at risk to the child - if being with you meant there was a risk to your granddaughter (maybe from her mother or her mother's partner) then they may want to be reassured about that - but otherwise I am sure they would be delighted to know your gd was safe and well cared for.

SS work on evidence - so if you can start gathering evidence of the care you provide and his you protect your gd (maybe from her own mother unfortunately) then that will make it easier for them to be able to recommend you as a carer. A diary would do as evidence - or any discussions with school/nurseries (maybe by email).

I have had a lot of contact with SS over the years (severely
Disabled child), and have found that dealing with them is really all about assessment/recognition of risk and evidence. I have found them helpful on the whole and a few of the Social workers have been brilliant (others not
So much but hey ho)

Flunkiel. My daughter works for SS in child protection and as Luckygirl has said family members would always be considered before fostering with strangers. I am sure everything will be fine. It must be very worrying for you but good luck for your future with your grand-daughter.

Thank you Luckygirl, I'm probably worrying unnecessarily as there is nothing dubious in mine or husbands pasts, gd has always lived here, I gave up my career 2 years ago to look after her full time and obviously we both worship the ground she walks on! lol x

In general, SS will seek for family carers for a child whose parents are not in a position to care for them. I think you would find that they are very much on your side and wanting to provide you with support; unless there is any sound reason in your past histories why you should not care for your DGD.

Speak to CAB and get some reassurance.

Good luck with this task.

Thank you Maryeliza, I guess myself and my husband feel a bit lost at the moment on where we go from here. X

Mumsnet. I'm glad you've been in contact with those organisations and they have reassured you to some extent. I haven't had direct dealings with SS myself but do work a lot with social workers specialising in Children and Families and I'm really impressed with how hard they work and how much they care. The dreadful cases that hit the headlines are often very complex and also very very misreported. Good luck with what you are doing to care for you gd.

Thank you Maryeliza, what's MN? I've spoken to grandparent plus, FRG and NSPCC advice line. Technically it should be a clear cut case but there's always that exceptions (the ones you read about!) I guess I wanted to hear any positives from people who have dealt with them. X

I'm sorry about the hard position you are in. SS get a very bad press and you'll never read of all the families they support and the help they give. Their primary focus is the welfare of the child and the child's best interests - they will get involved in your situation once they are aware of it and there would be no court proceedings without their input. You really need some advice - start with Citizens Advice. But also try MN - there are many posters on there who have legal knowledge and are willing to help. Just join and start a thread