child minding

Cant they communicate by phone last thing at night & first thing in the morning to double check that all is ok. Is it really necessary for you to change your arrangements ? Will you always have to be doing the same as the other gran for fear of upsetting her. It does seem to be expected that elderly parents now provide childcare whilst parents go to work. It's seems to be the expectation these days .

I agree with Coolgran. Looking after DDG in her own home would also be my worst nightmare. She looks on our house on this as her second home and it means I can get on with housework, baking garden etc.
It's just not practical for us.

We look after two dgc (10 and 7) for one day each week since the eldest was 6 months, they are dropped off at 7.15am ready for school and I have breakfast practically ready for the table. A third dgc (8 months) will come to us one day weekly from January but on a different day.

I may have to duck here and may be considered selfish .... but I can't think of anything worse than looking after any of them in their own home even if it is only a 15 minute walk distant. (5 minutes in the car). Spending 11 hours in someone else's house.... agghhhh.... I'd be thinking of all the things I could be doing at home whilst providing childcare, in the garden, prepping dinner, ironing, etc. etc. When dgc are with us during school holidays it's surprising just how much house stuff can be done while still having fun.

And as a by.... the children seem to just love being at our house.

I reckon what I'm trying to say is if I'm doing childcare, it's done in my home. The dgc are also dropped off to us. If we are helping out by giving 11 hours of our time it's little enough that they are dropped to our home.
Of course, in a case of an emergency we'd do whatever needed.

Our DGD lives a 5 min journey from us. Mum drops her off at 8am on her way to work.
I have health issues and am not so great first thing in the morning, so it works really well for all of us.
I don't understand why you have to go to them, unless you mind the child in their home.

But then the other granny might get jealous about that. It seems she's the one causing the problem here. She needs to accept the parents' wishes and realize that someone else' situation may be quite different from hers.

Gs isn't a toy to be shared or to take turns with. He's a little human being whose care needs come first.

But, imo, if the parents are worried about her watching him, the time of day shouldn't make a difference. If they're afraid of something happening, they shouldn't leave him alone with her at all.

Well I can understand her not wanting to get up at 5.30 am which she would have to if she's 30mins away. I think staying at their house would be ideal if they have the space. I have done this when looking after both my GCs. It means I don't have all the stuff at my house and I don't need to rush about getting ready. I say goodbye to the parents still in my jamas! Maybe one or both of you could think about doing this.

Is it unusual for a one year old to sleep on until 8 or 8.15am? Our DC and DGC were always awake at about 6 or 6.30 am). Perhaps they could put him to bed earlier and wake him then bring him to you in the mornings. That could avoid any discussions about staying overnight, or do what silverlining suggests and other granny stays at their house instead.

How about if there is room the other gran stays overnight at the parents house, so ready and up for the early morning start. Its what we often do,/did, especially those cold dark winter mornings

I cannot see how the parents can object to the granny looking after their child at night because of her poor health, when they are happy for her to have sole responsibility during the day. She is thirty minutes away at all times, presumably? People fall ill during the day as well.

Think Day6 summed it up nicely. If Granny wants to keep little one overnight, then can see no reason why not, unless it upsets the baby sleeping in so many different places each week. Health issues or not - the healthiest person can suddenly drop down dead, it is a silly argument to say that due to health issues she is at risk. With mobile phones these days, everybody is within easy reach. When I was 69 I was living by myself and still working, and looking after one of my g.children at least once every week, often overnight.

Sounds like the other granny is just being jealous and competitive, rivercross. The parents could have said "no" to her due to the distance and not mentioned her health issues if that might hurt her feelings, etc. However, imo, it was kind of you and dh to give up the overnights to ease the friction. I hope the parents appreciate that and start making things easier themselves by bringing the child to you.

We’ll shortly be looking after our DGD of 10 months, 2 days a week, our DD will bring her to us at approximately 7.30, both DD & SIL work from home more than the office

I have looked after all my dgc and would not dream of having them dragged out of bed at that time in the morning. I have always gone to them, where everything is to hand.
To make things easier rivercross could you and your dh maybe alternate the early time and the other one come over later on.
Btw he's a good little thing if he sleeps till 8.30
Mine would have been up by the time I got there. Bouncing around!
Wish I could do it all again!

Why don't the parents drop the baby off on the way to work? If it is only 2 minutes surely they could drop off instead of you starting your car and faffing around?

the parents leave at 6.40-6.50 and the child sleeps on in his own cot until around 8-815

they let

I am puzzled as to why you get up at 6 to drive 2 minutes to pick child up whether once or twice. Our local DGC live 10 minutes away and they do the getting up and drive to us; the themselves in and poke the children in bed with us!

I think shes being abit daft.

It seems abit 'well if shes allowed him over night I want him too' forgetting that you want him overnight to save you both getting up really early, which is a good idea tbh.

Its also not fair on the parents going almost 48 hours without seeing their child plus whatever the other grandma wants. AND I wouldn't want my child half an hour away and if anything does happen doing a 1 hour round trip to collect the child.

A child isn't something to shared out in equal measures. It will cause more trouble and work for the parents not to mention stress.

I would offer again. Its the sensible thing? It saves them faffing before work to get things ready and saves you getting up at 6am!

69 might be a little old to take on the sole care of a 1 year old for a night and a day, but it might be fine. Perhaps they should give it a trial run and see how it goes?

It's a difficult one.

Thing is, it is SO easy to write someone off because they have health worries. Let's face it, any one of us could conk out at any time and/or have an accident, whether caring for our dear GC or not.

I have a whole list of things wrong with me yet I still care for my GC. I strap them in their seats in the back of the car and off I go.

Any one of us could have an accident while driving, while crossing the road. Our dear GC could fall over and hurt themselves.

Accidents happen. To penalise the other Granny because she is alone and had a medical issue seems a little unfair.

I can fully understand the parents' caution though but does that mean all single grandparents, ones living alone, should not be trusted as over-night minders? There must be lots of them about.