4 year old grandson lying

I'm replying to inishowen. I was going to stat a new thread but found this very reassuring one! I have never NEVER hit my almost 4 GD with whom I have a close and loving relationship, but in the middle of a restaurant she loudly and laughingly said to her sister "Grandma hit me!" Her sister (2.5 and copies everything her big sister does) said "Grandma bit me!" I was horrified and said it was very bad to tell lies especially about other people, but I've fretted ever since that she might have repeated this to someone else.

"The problem here is that your daughter seems to be believing his stories. Why would she? Do you have a problem between you?"

Good question! What's the issue-behind-the-issue, Asterix?

"I would just like to add a child if 4 does not use the words ‘force fed’ so again that is either an interpretation by the mother or even by the poster herself"

... or someone's "feeding" him these words. What's really going on here, Asterix (if you ever come back)?

One time when my inlaws were visiting we went down to the pub garden. Later my daughter commented that "she had to stay there until my mum finished drinking!"

Just hearing that out of context does not give a good impression.

Very weird Jalimal. I agree .

Give up, people. The OP is not coming back.

Some lies are just funny and obviously a lie.

To say that you have been left alone with strangers is odd and to talk of being forced to eat certain things is not just imaginative talk. Surely it is meant to have some sort of impact - to stop further visits to the grandparents taking place or to cause some sort of problem between parents and grandparents?

Just a phase, and perversely one that is an essential learning period at that age. Just let him know that you know it isn’t the truth and ensure he doesn’t get any attention from telling lies. He’ll soon loose interest.

There are too many unanswered questions.
And one or two rather odd threads just lately.

I would reserve judgement until Asterix22 comes back to this thread. There are too many unanswered questions.
Just saying.

We were told at school by an eight year old that her father had died in the night, in hospital. I had the unpleasant task of contacting relatives to enquire discreetly whether this man was actually alive. He was.
A very painful discussion with the child and her parents followed.

I remember years ago reading a notice put up by a local school for the parents. It went something like this “We promise to believe only half of what they say about you if you promise to believe only half of what they say about us”.
The parents were amused as it seemed to make complete sense.

I can actually remember doing this - my mother didn't call it lies she called it 'romancing'. Wasn't I lucky ?

That is so difficult. Is there any way you could sit down with his mum and him to talk things through and try to find out why he is lying? That must be so difficult for you both. I'm so sorry.

My grandson’s imagination was rife at that age and older. It was as if he was testing your reaction to what he was saying and fully enjoying the attention. Having listened to the usual exaggerations and rubbish I asked him one day if perhaps he enjoyed making things up. He laughed and said yes. It didn’t last long after that. He is now a very intelligent thoughtful and truthful young adult. So don’t worry.

I would imagine if the little boys mum believed him, she wouldn't allow him to stay.

I would just like to add a child if 4 does not use the words ‘force fed’ so again that is either an interpretation by the mother or even by the poster herself

There is a big difference between a lie and a make believe anything as simple as a you going out the room to the loo while a neighbour was in having a cuppa could have resulted in the enlarged story of being left with a stranger and he might not have even said that it could have been dialogue like
Child...Nanny left me on my own
Mum ... why did Nanny leave you on your own ?
Child I don’t know
Mum was it for long?
Child yes ages
Mum what, all on your own ?
Child no a lady was there
Mum Who?
Child I don’t know
Mum was it a stranger?
Child yes
Therefore Mum now believes Nanny went off for hours leaving said child with a stranger

When my DS was small he told his teacher that he couldn't sleep due to his Dad sitting up late drinking beer and gambling. DH would never and has never done this! I was mortified at parents night to be shown the drawing of these imaginary events. Poor DH, I don't think the school believed him.

Maybe he feels he shouldn't let his Mum know what a great time he has with you and is using 'his imagination' to make it sound awful. Who knows what goes on in a young childs mind. Best thing to do is ask him. Being open and honest about things is the best way to help him learn to cope with growing up understanding the way people have different feelings and opinions.

Is someone else putting ideas into his head? Is there anyone else in your home who might be joking around with him not realising he's too young to tell when it's a joke? Do you have any teens still living at home?

When my grandson went to nursery for the first time we were told if you don’t believe 50% of what you hear about nursery then we won’t believe 50% of what they say is happening at home. I thought it was good advice.

My DGD looked at me with huge eyes and told me her childminder 'Hit me, many times' at 4. DS wanted me to find an alternative childminder over the weekend to present his ex with a fait accompli by Sunday afternoon.
Luckily it was 'fantasising', her childminder was in fact lovely and DS began to realise that his DD wasn't quite perfect!

Your daughter believing him is the key issue. Four year olds do this sort of thing...if he knows that your daughter will fuss over him and believe him, he gets an incentive to do it more!! Talk to your daughter about the fact that he is making up stories and work out a strategy for dealing with it together that you will all use consistently ...make sure the incentive to make up stories to get attention is removed!

Μy grandson told his teachers he had been to Liverpool and had his appendix removed at the weekend. She only found out when one of the teachers gently asked if he should be at school the next day!! He was about nine though and got into trouble! Sent back into school to tell the truth!!

I agree with those above. 4 & 5 year olds have such a vivid imagination, they can believe the stories they tell. I think, please, not too hard on them.