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Grandparenting

My Granddaughter's going away

(42 Posts)
Eglantine21 Fri 26-Jan-18 13:08:27

I've done lots of travelling since I retired and my experience is that the world is a much, much safer and more pleasant place than the news media would have you believe.
Don't look at the news!

I have had such a good time and if my children worried about me I am thankful that they kept it to themselves.

I would say don't expect regular, frequent contact. Sometimes it's not that easy when you're on the move and frankly sometimes the expectation can be a stress and a burden.

That sounds a bit harsh but part of the joy of travelling is that sense of freedom!

Smithy Fri 26-Jan-18 12:39:13

Meant bored with her job!

Smithy Fri 26-Jan-18 12:38:28

I know exactly how you feel, my heart sank to my boots 15 years ago when my daughter, having ended a relationship and hired with her job, announced she was off to the other side of the world. I knew she was sensible but you can't help but worry. She went to Fiji, NZ, Oz and then Thailand on the way back and had an amazing time. I was lucky, I flew out to join her in Oz for 3 weeks and loved every minute of it. We kept in touch by good old email - how did we manage withiut it. So give her your blessing, try not to worry (hard I know) and keep in touch with her all the time if possible.

anitamp1 Fri 26-Jan-18 11:57:15

BeeGran. I would feel exactly as you do. But I respect the adventurous spirit of the youngsters today. If you know what countries she is going to look at the government/travel sites advice for travelling in that country and make sure she reads it. Make sure she has a well paid mobile phone contract so she won't run out of money. Beyond that, I think you have to rely on her common sense. And bear in mind that many many young girls go travelling every year and have a fab safe time. We only hear about the tragic cases, but they are extremely rare, and let's face it, bad stuff happens in the UK too.

Telly Fri 26-Jan-18 11:50:00

Well guess its our job to worry. But on the plus side she is 23 and not 18 so will have some experience of the world. I think its brilliant that she has such confidence.

tanyaswisse Fri 26-Jan-18 11:26:55

I do feel for you as I know it is difficult not to worry about them. My daughter and family (two grandchildren) are leaving the UK and emigrating to the States on Wednesday next week, and we are devastated. Being in our 70's we wonder how many more times we will see them, and it is very hard. They are retired (early) and dont have to work but think life will be better in the US. They are excited about their new life, and we are so upset. The doctor has prescribed me anti depressants but I am loathe to take tablets having read bad press on them. Any help in coping with this would be appreciated.

Ruthyo Fri 26-Jan-18 11:17:03

When my daughter went off travelling to less developed countries, I bought her a sterile medical kit to take with her for use in emergencies. Thankfully it was never used but it gave me some piece of mind. We'll always worry though, we wouldn't be caring parents/grandparents if we didn't!

Kim19 Fri 26-Jan-18 11:17:00

Groovygran, how heartily I agree with you in that the joy of parenthood has undertones of anxiety from beginning to end. The secret is to control and never air them and live with a totally positive attitude even when the going gets rough. Would certainly change a few of the decisions they have made (as my Mother would have done too) but not for one minute regret having them anxiety and all. Some package eh?!9

NemosMum Fri 26-Jan-18 10:55:26

In all likelihood she will be fine, and have a great time. She will learn so much too. My younger daughter took off to Oz and NZ for 15 months when she was 22. Communication then was not what it is now, so I just had to wait for the odd phone call. She had some tricky times and she learnt that if you don't work, you don't eat, and so much else besides. As Mark Twain said, "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness". DD has travelled many times since to SE Asia and lots of other places. She has a travel blog and her own business in web-marketing which have arisen from this early experience. You have said your granddaughter is a sensible young woman. My advice to you would be to take courage and think of the immense benefits to her of traveling. Of course, you will miss her, but communication is so much better now. When my DD was in Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos recently, she was able to FaceTime me a couple of times a week from her phone, so I could see where she was and just chat. Quite frankly, I heard more from her than when she was living in London. Your DGD will be able to do the same. Be excited for her and try not to worry!

Groovygran Fri 26-Jan-18 10:53:29

I sympathise with you too, but it seems that as soon as you have a child, a lifetime of anxiety begins. Such is life. I left England at age 19 and came to Australia, nonchalantly waving everyone goodbye. At age 71 I know now how my parents must have felt, and they only got a blue Aerogram letter once a month. When my daughter now in her 30s recently took holidays in Vietnam and Cambodia I felt as you do now. But daily texts are a brilliant quick way of getting reassurance, and it doesn't have to be an epic story, just a quick photo and message. And remember, for every horrific story that gets into the papers, millions of people travel safely.

Nonnie Fri 26-Jan-18 10:52:28

I think Missfood has some great ideas.

Missfoodlove Fri 26-Jan-18 10:36:38

My son volounteered in India at the age of 18 so I understand how you feel.
I insisted on having access to his bank account so in an emergency I could deal with the call centres etc.
We paid for comprehensive health cover.
We had a scanned copy of his passport and so did he.
We made sure he had the details of the British Embassy and also knew the emergency dialling code!
He has a severe penicillin allergy so he carried a medical card with him.
He was fine despite no running water or proper sanitation.
He returned to the UK after 6 months then went to work in Kyrgyzstan for the same organisation.
After his year out he started university in the Czech Republic and after 3 years now has a great job and life in Prague.
The travel gave him a huge amount of self confidence and helped mature him.
I doubt he would have been as happy or as successful if he had stayed in the UK.
My other less adventurous son got totally drunk in London and fell causing him to nearly lose an eye, he was operated on by one of the UK’s best surgeons and is thankfully OK so the reality is accidents can happen anywhere.
I hope your granddaughter has a fabulous trip

Anniebach Fri 26-Jan-18 10:35:30

Beegran, I so sympathise with you, I went into panic mode when my granddaughters went to university - 50 miles from me, you can keep in touch x

Alidoll Fri 26-Jan-18 10:27:56

Hear not here (autocorrect fail!

Alidoll Fri 26-Jan-18 10:27:18

Why don't you ask her to Skype you from different destinations so you can talk to her and check she's ok. Perhaps offer to buy her the phone / tablet to keep in touch and say you'd be excited to here about her adventures...

gillybob Fri 26-Jan-18 09:58:15

www.gapyear.com/articles/149061/backpacking-tips-for-girls

Some very useful information on this site BeeGran perhaps you could send her the link.

I hope she has the best time. smile

BeeGran Fri 26-Jan-18 09:46:12

Hello, I'm new on here. Just found the site but it looks really interesting.
My much beloved granddaughter whom I am very close to has decided to leave her very promising job and take a year off to go travelling. She's young (23) and I know so many young people do this and I used to be a keen traveller myself. But I can't help feeling this horrible dread that something will happen to her while she is away. She's travelling on her own and although she's very sensible..I'm terrified I admit. I wouldn't dream of raining on her enthusiasm though but doesn't anyone have any experience of this? Or advice on how to handle it? Or tips for keeping her safe I could subtly pass on? Her mum (my daughter) definitely doesn't have the same adventurous gene - made my parenting much easier in many ways! I do see a lot of myself in my granddaughter so maybe I know all too well the scrapes she could find herself in.