Feeling sad & inadequate

Money does not matter when it comes to grandchildren. We are wealthier than my son in laws parents but we all see our granddaughters regularly and although we help our daughter and son in law financially with treats/holidays it makes no difference to how they feel about my son in laws parents. I think expressing your insecurity about money to your DD and saying you wish you could do more is ok but don't get too hung up on it.

Just be happy you see your DGS so often and offer time and babysitting as often as you can spare it.

lilyflower???. Reminded me of when my mum gave GCs a sugar piece - that is a sugar sandwich. Buttered bread pressed into sugar then given a ‘lid’. A postwar treat apparently. They loved it.

My mother had nothing to give my children except love. She was very eccentric and often gave them meals like bowls of rice and curry with mini Mars bars sticking out of the rice. They adored this and now say that grandma is a legend.

Totally agree with Luckygirl

Not recommended btw, icbn, especially when wearing a nearly new anorak.

Our DGS3 spent a contented hour this week painting the garden fence with water.
which post reminds me of the time I went out and DH let 3 year old DD 'help' him creosote the fence.

I remember my GS ignoring the expensive gift given by his other GPS and spending most of the day playing with the pack of 'whistling' balloons we had included with our small present. Luckily, they saw the funny side of it, and shared in the balloon blowing-up tasks, or it would have been very embarrassing.
My children didn't get many material things, when they were young, as we weren't very well-off. As adults they have told us that we were the ones to take them, and the neighbours' children, out for fun (free) afternoons while the other parents sunbathed or did household chores. They don't remember the absence of lots of toys, but they remember with happiness the time that we spent with them.

What a happy thread this has turned into. Some great ideas here - I'm taking notes!

Our DGS3 spent a contented hour this week painting the garden fence with water.

DD used to enjoy emptying out my 'Tupperware' cupboard
and DN loved saucepans and a wooden spoon (very noisy).

My DGD, age 5, really looks forward to me coming to her house so that she will have 'someone to play with'! She is a very sociable girl but her parents are often busy and her brother is into his computer. She has a room full of toys but what she enjoys more than anything is the companionship. When she comes to us she wants to 'make something' so I save cardboard boxes, tubes, bits of ribbon, coloured paper etc and we craft something together. Lots of fun but no cost!
My 1 year old DGS's favourite 'toys' are a set of 4 metal bowls I inherited from my DM; they spin on the hard floor, make great drums and stack inside each other. This week I found a magnet and he spent ages sticking it to the bowls and pulling it off again. Why buy expensive toys?!

You could give them everything and it would not make them one jot happier so there is not need to feel guilty. You love them and with a bit of luck that is returned. That's enough for anyone.

Enjoy the times you spend with him - and let your DD know how much you enjoy having him too!

Hi to everyone for so many lovely words of encouragement & support.....a lot of these suggestions I do do with my older gs ( nearly 5) he does love his baking, colouring, endless games of snakes & ladders and dinosaur bingo....i know, I am very lucky.....all these words has made me think about the importance of me just being me for my gc......i think yesterday I just had a "weak & vulnerable moment". I'm sure it'll pass & I'll be back to feeling appreciated.... for just being there.
Thanks to all ?

If there's one thing I would like my grandchildren to remember about me (not that I'm planning on leaving this world yet) is that I always had time for them, whether it's playing games, going out, gardening or just chatting.

OP hope you are feeling more positive. Another idea - borrow books from the library. Plenty of baby books and some libraries also have toys, dvds and more.

With 17 grandchildren and resources limited - they dont expect too much - they get our support whenever needed and modest gifts - games of cards, trips to the park and walks with the dogs in the woods - what else do they need!

One thing I just thought of that I bet your GC would love: you can send them written letters in the mail. Kids LOVE to get mail.

Paper and fat chunky crayons, some Playdoh when he's a bit older and, if you have a garden, some of those pavement chalks so that he can scribble all over the path/patio. DGDs used to love doing that (it felt a bit 'naughty' ) and always assured Grandad that 'the rain will wash it off'.

I bought an easel from the charity shop and some paints from Early Learning Centre and they loved painting outside in the garden too in good weather.
When he's a bit older you can do baking with him.
At the moment he won't know the difference between an expensive trip or a trip to the park as long as he's enjoying himself.

Last time we had them we suggested various trips but they just wanted to go to a nearby play park and we had icecreams there.

Don't feel - concentrate on giving him happy memories.

You give your gs your love and your time, whatever anyone else gives is up to them
My gd is now 17 and often tells me that I made her childhood a happy one because I read her stories, took her to the park, swimming, cinema but most of all I was the one who was always fun to be with even if we were just at home.
Playing dress ups. Money isn’t everything.

There are lots of things to do whu h cost little or no money. Although not strapped for cash, I often chose to make individual picnic boxes for my children and take kids tennis racquets (Woolworths) and balls to a local park or a cricket set to the beach.
Kites were another great amusement or how about a blow-up paddling pool in your garden and pizza and ice-cream?
Museums often have children's fun days which are free or take a bus trip somewhere they haven't been to before.
Face paints are cheap fun and can amuse at home and take selfies to show friends or jigsaws bought in charity shops.
So much out there for little to no cost.

Give time, that is free. I had a grandma who bought me stuff but never spent much time with me even though lived very close to me. She would come to visit and spend all her time talking to my Mum. My other grandma did not have much but shared her time with me, reading me stories, taking me to the park on the swings, collecting fir comes, and as I got older playing board games with me, watching me swim and teaching me to cook. I know who my best loved grandma was. Time costs nothing but means so much to a young child.

Your love and kindness is all they need, they are the things they will remember, they have a lovely Grandmother, sending you big hugs.

Our grandson is almost 6y. Has lots of toys at home. But guess what he loves best with grandma? Play time! Hide the thimble (or equivalent) as loves ‘getting warmer’ etc! Or a game we made up taking turns to aim a small soft ball into a basket on the other side of the room. Colouring together. Dodgeball. Baking. Any or all of these in an afternoon & an ice cream on the way home! Inexpensive (or free) and he adores the time together spent talking.... ‘okay what is your favourite vegetable to eat then you guess mine’ etc. Honestly I agree with OP here, it’s not the money it’s the engagement. And as regards expensive treats from other members in a family, try to be grateful that your grandchildren are the recipients of such good forttune! It’s not a competition.

Take them out for picnics, invite them round to spend time with you in your house/garden. They'll spend money, you spend time!

It would be pretty dull if we all offered the same thing. Children need a variety of experiences. Her parents love going to interesting places with DGD, so she and I play in the garden or ride on a bus, mundane stuff.