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Grandparenting

CAFCASS experience

(12 Posts)
SqueezedMiddleG Sat 01-Sep-18 10:20:19

Can anyone give me reassurance about the effectiveness of CAFCASS to resolve painful custody disputes? My DD had prepared herself in practical and emotional terms for her first telephone safeguarding interview. The time had been confirmed in writing but after a 30-minute wait she phoned to check. She was told that her name was on the interview list but the person scheduled to phone was not in the office that day. There had been no attempt to tell my DD about this cancellation. She had taken time off work and lost money that she desperately needs. The interview is important for a report to be submitted before the next court hearing. She is hoping that the system will help her in protecting her DCs from her abusive ex-partner. However, this has really undermined her confidence.

Luckygirl Sat 01-Sep-18 10:26:18

How very frustrating - bureaucracy without a human face. Have these folk no imagination?

GrannyGravy13 Sat 01-Sep-18 13:22:21

AC has just had meeting with CAFCASS, useless bunch. Did not want to listen to the fact that 'the idiot' has not been paying maintenance, just spouted on about his parental rights (hasn't bothered to see GC for 18months). AC had to be really firm on access conditions (idiot to only have access when a family member is present for next 6 months) CAFCASS seem to be all for the parent who isnt primary career

JudyJudy12 Sat 01-Sep-18 14:56:37

CAFCASS are on the side of the child grannygravy and they have a right to see both parents, when the child is old enough to make a decision for themselves they will choose which to see.
They do cancel appointments as court times often overrun or there is an emergency where they are needed.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 01-Sep-18 15:38:06

JudyJudy my D has tried for 18months to get the idiot to see GC, but he refused. Now all of sudden he wanted Friday evening until Sunday evening every other weekend. GC does not know him from Adam (he is a toddler). D had to be really strong and persistent to ensure he had limited accompanied access, leading up to an overnight stay in 6 months time. CAFCASS were all for overnight stays immediately.

They were not in the least bit interested that the idiot has stopped paying maintenance even though he has a court order to do so.

There might be some good and fair ones out their, but that is not my experience.

Cold Sun 02-Sep-18 19:21:44

CAFCASS are involved in access arrangements - they do not get involved with child maintenance issues - the financial side between the adults is completely separate from the child's rights to a relationship with both parents - children are not pay per view.

If the ex is not paying maintenance she can go to the CMS and arrange an enforcement action for it to be paid directly from his wages.

JudyJudy12 Mon 03-Sep-18 14:53:43

Well said cold, will use that phrase myself, so true "children are not pay per view".

Nonnie Mon 03-Sep-18 15:28:16

Agree with cold, 2 separate issues.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 03-Sep-18 16:18:20

In principle I agree with cold.

He has been paying up till the CAFCASS meeting (has got an order direct from his wages, which took 9 months to get)
Went home from meeting handed his notice in immediately!!!! Suspect actions!!!

He is by nature both mentally and physically abusive and our whole family are worried as he has started back with the abusive texts and ringing my D at all hours, as she was instructed to unblock his number.
So having to start logging every phone call etc. to go before a judge yet again.
CAFCASS had been bowled over by his 'niceness'.

SqueezedMiddleG Mon 03-Sep-18 17:21:31

Thank you for your comments. I won't be telling my DD about them as I don't want to depress her even further. It seems as this is another organisation with a wonderful website creating false hopes. The reality sounds very different. GrannyGravy, I'm particularly worried by your last comment. My SiL can be the most charming person to the outside world but behind closed doors he is frighteningly abusive. We were hoping that professionals in this field are trained to spot these manipulative people and protect the children from them.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 03-Sep-18 18:05:43

SqueezedMiddleG I have dm'd you x

Summermary Mon 01-Oct-18 23:44:03

Have to say a Cafcass report for dgs was facts from my daughter and mudslinging abuse from ex. At Court cafcass woman constantly said one thing, then backtracked. No-one has asked dgs his opinion. He is 8.