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Grandparenting

Scared grandaughter

(35 Posts)
Iam64 Sun 09-Sept-18 10:03:14

children of this age have rich inner lives, imaginations that build all kinds of things. One of mine was convinced that a monster lived in the bedroom cupboard. It was essential that the cupboard doors were firmly closed because then, it would stay put. That child is 34 now and still has a fantastical imagination.

BlueBelle Sun 09-Sept-18 09:43:33

My son used to have either me or one of his sisters go upstairs with him everytime for a while and it was a mystery until I found out he had watch a Dr Who episode that completely freaked him out
Just to add he is a long distance marathon and Ironman runner now don’t worry too much it’s a phase just go with her and don’t even mention it
Pollyperkins that’s just reminder me I used to have to go past the attic stairs at Nans which had a curtain which didn’t quite come to the floor I always ran asI thought I would see a pair of feet poking out I also used to think something would come up the toilet while I sat on it ???

pollyperkins Sun 09-Sept-18 09:27:18

At about the same age my daughter became very clingy and followed me everywhere - she panicked if I was in another room. It wasn't that she was scared that anything would happen to her while alone but that she thought I would disappear and not come back (I've asked her about it since ). I've no idea why she thought that. It was very wearing but she grew out of it eventually (after several months I think). This could be something similar, who knows.
My brother as a child was terrified of a painting of a lanscape and my mother had to remove it. As an adult he could remember being scared of it but not why.
It's difficult to know what goes on in children's heads sometimes. My 3 yr old gd sometimes has to have imaginary 'wolves' removed from her bedroom before she will go in.
As a little child I was convinced that a witch lived in a dark corner of the landing that I had to pass on the way from the bathroom to my bedroom.

M0nica Sun 09-Sept-18 08:59:34

Did someone physically/sexually abuse her or threaten her and is she afraid they will return and do it again if they find her alone in a room again?

You will need to probe this very carefully because it may be another member of the family or someone close to you and she may have been threatened if she tells anyone and may be too scared to tell you.

OldMeg Sat 08-Sept-18 12:39:13

Been through something similar with two grandchildren. Just came out of the blue and went after a while.

Both these GC now they are older have turned out to be very creative and imaginative. I suspect that was what was behind it.

DoraMarr Sat 08-Sept-18 12:05:06

No- one knows how long this is going to go on, so the best thing is to be calm and loving and just go with her. It is horrible for a child to be scared and not be able to express why. She may have had a bad dream, or heard something, or seen something on television that has frightened her. The point is that this fear is very real to her, and the only thing you can do is to make her feel as secure as possible. Has her father spoken to her teacher? It would be easy for the teacher to discreetly allow her to choose a friend to go with her to the school toilet until she is over this fear. In the meantime don’t be cross with her or say her fears are silly (I’m sure you don’t.)

lemongrove Sat 08-Sept-18 11:59:34

most young children hate being alone, especially if they rarely are alone.
Has she seen a scary picture of something, or a movie, it's surprising what scares children.
She is not likely to be like this at age 12 so do not worry unduly.

Melanieeastanglia Sat 08-Sept-18 11:30:35

This must be very distressing for her and for all of her family.

I am no expert but can only imagine that something specific has frightened her when she has been alone in a room.

It might be something real like a spider or something that would seem silly to an adult.

I do hope everything turns out all right in the end.

shysal Sat 08-Sept-18 10:52:12

Could you ask her if there is anything that would send away the 'frightening thing', such as a particular colour? When my DD1 went through a similar phase we reached a solution with her by adding purple (her favourite colour) paint or stickers. She was never scared again! I hope it will be resolved just as easily for you.

supernanauna1 Sat 08-Sept-18 10:44:45

My granddaughter has just turned five. Very confident, sure of herself - knows everything about everything!

For the past month, she has become frightened of being in any room in the house on her own. I even have to go to the bathroom with her! She just says she's scared.

Does anybody know how long this is likely to go on? I hate to see her in a panic and it's a pain in the butt for me - I can't even visit the bathroom without her. She won't even go to the toilet in school unless other children are going too.

She has lived with me - with her dad - for over 18 months and has never shown this type of behaviour before. As I said, she is a very confident child in all other areas.