Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Safety

(37 Posts)
joscurry Wed 12-Sep-18 08:26:43

I'm not yet resigned to the lack of worry and concern my daughters have with their one year olds safety on the stairs in the staircase area... Am I being over protective? These are little toddlers and I am getting very stressed..views?

notanan2 Fri 14-Sep-18 22:17:10

Young children who are taught to use stairs (no stair gates) tend to not fall down stairs. At least not badly.

The children I know who have had "bad" falls down stairs were ALL kids who weren't usually allowed in the stairs but the gate got left open and they got in by themselves the once..

Sometimes safety features make kids less safe.

Granarchist Fri 14-Sep-18 21:48:31

a friend works at a nursery where they have 3 and 4 yr olds who are unable to go up or down a few steps unaided. they've never been allowed to! madness

justwokeup Fri 14-Sep-18 21:39:14

We originally had open tread stairs but fitted risers and carpet when DC came along. We also taught them how to go up and down stairs. I think we've all slipped/fallen at one time or another, thankfully with no real harm done. Depends on your panic level I suppose - I'm quite nervous myself about spiral staircases so could not have a metal one with DC in the house.

123kitty Fri 14-Sep-18 18:11:19

Not sure if stair gates were aound when I grew up, or my DCs were toddlers, we all made it in one piece.

Jalima1108 Fri 14-Sep-18 12:24:15

"Turn round and come down backwards"

Good girl smile

inishowen Fri 14-Sep-18 12:04:13

I was talking on the phone to my six year old granddaughter when she dropped the phone. She came back later and explained her brother (15 months) had appeared at the top of the stairs and she had run to stop him falling. She's such a responsible big sister.

Jalima1108 Fri 14-Sep-18 10:40:00

Taught second child to crawl backwards down them.
As did I Shizam

Some teach them to bump down on their bottoms but I think backwards is best.
Perhaps I should do that myself grin

Solitaire Fri 14-Sep-18 09:53:11

I wonder how difficult and risky it must be to move furniture up and down these stairs?

HannahLoisLuke Fri 14-Sep-18 08:50:56

Friends of mine who lived in an old Cotswold cottage with very steep rickety stairs and flagstone floors never used stair gates. Their children both very quickly scooted up and down from about ten months old with thankfully never a problem.

Shizam Fri 14-Sep-18 01:08:04

In my old flat, first born came racketing down stairs on his fire engine, crashed into toilet door. I couldn’t get out. Move on to new house. Fitted stair gates.inside
But outside was labyrinth of concrete scary steps. Too many to secure. Taught second child to crawl backwards down them. Took only two goes. He never fell.

GabriellaG Thu 13-Sep-18 22:24:24

They look ridiculous and unattractive stairs to have in a house anyway.

LizHand Thu 13-Sep-18 21:36:49

When we moved into our 4 storey Georgian terrace when DD was only 18months (20+ years ago) & spent a fortune on the kit ready to protect on every floor staircase and guess what - only ever fitted one gate at the doorway in the attic (her nursery) and one down to the hall entrance (the steepest drops) - we taught her the rest with plenty of bottom shuffling. I think to date she has only ever fallen once down her stairs and she will admit it was a morning after the night before with just socked feet!!!! I think DH and I have managed more slips/missed footings. Even when SIL panicked after installing a very open staircase and its dangers it was just a case of appropriate supervision to teach rather than create a barrier!! I am also now more concerned for my own safety sometines and treat with the same respect as any potential hazard.

Jalima1108 Thu 13-Sep-18 20:17:05

Those stairs look very attractive but I couldn't go up and down them. We looked at a house once which had a staircase like that and I could not contemplate buying it. Other people may be fine with them, of course.

As for 'normal' stairs - I taught our DC to come down them on their tummies, feet first of course, from when they were about 12 - 14 months old.
Our present stairs have a landing in the middle but not all of them had.
We did have stairgates (and for the DGC too) - but mainly to stop them going upstairs on their own. It was also useful to stop them meddling upstairs and to stop the dog(s) going up.

Daisyboots Thu 13-Sep-18 19:43:02

I do think children should be taught to go up and stairs at quite a young age (thinking of average house staircase here). We taught our children but friends if ours always had a stairgate in place. Come Christmas they took the stair gate away because parents were staying and no 2 son aged 18 months climbed 3 steps and fell breaking his leg. He had never had the opportunity to climb before .

Mads Thu 13-Sep-18 17:58:54

We have these stairs and I worry more about me falling than the children.

Irene16 Thu 13-Sep-18 17:51:20

Oh my word, I've just viewed your photo. It's not just the falling up or down those stairs that alarms me so much as the toddler sliding their body through the tread gaps. I know there are good regs in place now regarding spacing between staircase spindles to prevent the child putting their head through but those tread gaps would seriously worry me. I can remember getting my head stuck in between wooden spindles and how scared I was. Perhaps gently voice your fears again. Your daughter might reflect on your view and take safeguarding action.

Rosina Thu 13-Sep-18 17:06:23

I would get rather twitchy about there being no risers on that staircase - visions of little legs going through the gap. Is my concern possibly a bit over the top? It would worry me.

Maggiemaybe Thu 13-Sep-18 15:59:29

they go bumpity bump from one step to the next at a relatively slow speed and low force

Wouldn't that depend on the type of fall? That sounds like a very gentle one! I'd be very concerned about the stairs in the photo, joscurry, if your DGC are only 12 months old, and I'd have to say something. Whether anyone would actually listen is another matter entirely. grin

ReadyMeals Thu 13-Sep-18 15:40:21

Normal staircases are not actually all that dangerous (as long as there are good bannisters at the side) When a child falls down stairs each step is only a fall of a few inches and they go bumpity bump from one step to the next at a relatively slow speed and low force. I remember falling down our stairs as a small child many times and never got hurt (other than being a bit scared the first couple of times)

Greciangirl Thu 13-Sep-18 15:32:20

I have a spiral staircase in my house, and of course, Dgs, three years old always wants to climb up them. Hi

I have a stairgate but it doesn’t fit very well owing to the shape of the stairs. It’s a bit wobbly at times, but it does seem to deter him somewhat.

Toddlers can always climb up the stairs, but usually have difficulty getting back down. That’s when it becomes dangerous.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 13-Sep-18 15:20:53

To my mind the staircase in the photo definitely needs child-proof gates until the children are steady on their feet and have learned to walk up and down stairs holding onto the banisters.

I'm afraid now that you have voiced your concerns to your daughters and been ignored that there is nothing more you can do. I'd like to say, please do not worry, but in your place I would be worrying, so there is no point in asking you not to, is there?

Telly Thu 13-Sep-18 15:11:19

Surely they are not your responsibility? Your daughter has assessed the risks and has parental responsibility so I would chill and take a back seat. In your house, of course, the decision is yours. But its all part of letting go.

Terrystred Thu 13-Sep-18 14:42:48

I put up a stair gate in my house for GS. I tripped over the bar on it and badly twisted my ankle! SIL took it down for me and GS has learned to use my stairs safely on his own.

mabon1 Thu 13-Sep-18 14:31:09

Stair gates, but they do have to learn how to get up and down on their own.

muffinthemoo Thu 13-Sep-18 11:38:13

Have toddlers. Would have conniptions if they had unimpeded access to a staircase like that. We had one - metal like yours - in our previous house, I slipped five stairs from the bottom and broke four ribs.

I agree with you. We stair gated the bottom of our staircase like that and did not allow them to use the stairs at all (nothing important upstairs).

Are these your stairs? If so, you have every right to fit a gate yourself and if DDs pass comment, simply answer that you do not want to be responsible for a serious accident in your own home.