grandkids when their parents have parted

Tonight I'm feeling really low. We've just come to the end of a week's holiday with our three grandchildren. Their parents - my stepson and his wife parted two years ago and both have new partners. We decided to bring the kids on holiday because they've been passed about a fair bit and not had the best time. The oldest girl is 14, the middle girl is 10 and the little boy is 6. We booked two cottages one for us and one for my oldest stepson, his wife and 2 daughters 14 and 7. All in all we've spent about £2000 In this holiday.

For us, it's been a nightmare week. All three kids are a bit wild. The little boy doesn't seem to be developing properly. His language skills are very poor and his behaviour generally isn't that of a 6 year old, plus his sisters veer between treating him like a baby doll, picking him up and loving him or teasing him and shouting at him. The middle girl, in particular, is either mothering him or shouting at him. None of which helps.

He is a very demanding child who needs constant amusement and attention. He can't read and is really struggling with trying to learn and he is incapable of amusing himself. When he's at home with his mother, he spends most of his time playing video games on TV. He's very good about going to bed - a story, a cuddle and he's out like a light, but he's up before 6am every day, Thankfully I'm an early riser so it doesn't bother me but I'm not sure it's healthy for him.

All three kids have an appalling diet. They flatly refuse to eat any vegetables or 'proper food, living on crisps and chocolate buns. They nearly have a nervous breakdown if we try to get them to eat properly. For example, tonight's 'dinner' consisted of frankfurter sausages and super noodles.

My son, who is highly intelligent- a lawyer married to a crown court judge- has also been with us this week as they own a holiday home nearby and this morning he and I had a bit of a bust up. They have no children and they've taken the kids out a couple of times over the week which I've appreciated for giving us a break but today I got a lecture from him about what wonderful kids they are and how harsh I am, I pointed out to him that the kids do behave better with him because they don't know him so well and they are a bit in awe of him plus it's easy to be happy and playful for a couple of hours but try it when it's full on from half past five in the morning until eight at night and when they are fighting or shouting and the little one is whining 'I wanna' or 'I don't wanna' or 'I'm ungy' (hungry) or I'm bored every few minutes.

Ive really tried so hard with the little boy this week, making models with him, reading with him, doing puzzles and I feel so hurt by my son. Yesterday the middle girl was being really horrible to her brother for no reason and later I commented that she'd been vile to him. This morning my son accused me of calling her vile. I didn't call her vile, I said her behaviour was vile to her brother.

I rarely argue with my son and I feel so miserable and exhausted. It feels as though he was accusing me of being a horrible old woman-- which I said to him this morning to which he replied 'don't make everything about you.'

Apologies for this monologue but, seriously, I could just sit and weep.