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Grandparenting

Middle Child Issues

(12 Posts)
knickas63 Mon 03-Dec-18 17:18:36

I have three grandsons, and they are described as my Big Boy, my Little Boy and my Baby Boy 7, 4 and 8 months. I think the middle one does sometimes get overlooked. The elder has a few problems, and we think it may be ADD, the younger obviously takes a lot of time, so Little Boy get a bit lost in the mix! Middle one has just started to bite at 4! Cry for attention I think. My DD is sometimes so exhauseted that she lets them get away with a few things she shoudln't. She chooses to pick her battles.

Welshwife Sun 25-Nov-18 20:56:27

My sister was always difficult - whatever she was given or whatever was done for her it was never right. There were only the two of us. When we were adults - she was even more difficult - from remarks she made I realised that her basic problem was that she wanted to be the eldest and did not like the fact I had spent five years with our parents without her and there was nothing she could do about it.
Really she should have felt the spoilt one who we all danced around and gave her what she wanted. I now think that attitude of ours contributed to her being like she is.

MawBroon Sun 25-Nov-18 20:19:58

My middle child was the least possible trouble, a placid baby who happily sat on the carpet and played, slow to walk (never crawled, bum shuffled) and as a teenager “slipstreamed” behind her big (stroppier) sister.
As an adult she is steel though and through but still non confrontational by nature, brave and focused and extremely sensitive to the needs and feelings of others.
You can’t generalise.

callgirl1 Sun 25-Nov-18 20:14:39

We had 5 children, so daughter 3 was the middle child I suppose, but with 2 above and 2 below her they`ve all been treated the same, with the same rules and regulations, so I don`t think there was any middle child syndrome in our house.

FlexibleFriend Sun 25-Nov-18 16:06:53

I guess I was a middle child being the 3rd of 4 and it was great. I had no complaints and got away with murder.

midgey Sun 25-Nov-18 14:41:10

I have three children, I always made sure that the middle one was called the ‘middlest’ . Seemed unkind otherwise! Didn’t stop her being different!

M0nica Sun 25-Nov-18 14:07:53

My late sister was the middle child. Her complaint was about being overlooked and what hurt most was not deliberate. Meeting people for the first time DM would introduce me as her eldest, the baby as her youngest and then bring forward DS and describe her as her 'other one'. The 'other' description rankled and cut her deeply.

She complained also of always being the one sharing, when there was 2 between 3 (bedrooms, books, cake). She would always have to share with her elder or younger sister. She never got anything to herself while the other two shared.

PamelaJ1 Sun 25-Nov-18 09:27:30

How did my DS’s middle child know that she was when she left the room. That will be womb😂
Was a pain in the a.... from the word go😂 and her youngest sister didn’t come along for 4years.
We do love her though.

Willow500 Sun 25-Nov-18 06:46:28

My husband is the middle child and always felt he was blamed for everything (he probably was the culprit - known him since he was 11 and always a 'bad' lad grin ) However talk to his sister who is 3 years younger and she would tell you he was the favourite. His elder brother who was 7 when he was born would say he got blamed for everything and both brothers say their sister was favourite as the only girl. Their mother lined them up one particular day at her wits end and said one of you will have to go - who's it going to be?!! grin

It's all about perception - I'm sure your GS will be fine and it will all even out when the little one gets a bit older.

mnew4 Sun 25-Nov-18 00:09:47

Oh!! I love it!! Maybe they will too!! Thank you!smile

MawBroon Sat 24-Nov-18 21:46:11

This sounds as if they have given up on parenting.
But before you despair, you might like to see this - maybe show it to them?

mnew4 Sat 24-Nov-18 21:43:50

My son and DIL have 3 children ages 6,4 and 1. They both come from families with 2 children. Neither of them wanted to have a "middle child" due to the fear of them having "middle child syndrome". Well they decided that 3 was enough, but now they let the middle child do anything that he wants with no discipline nor respect for others including us. The oldest boy is blamed for everything that happens. The baby is the only girl and hasn't started doing things as the older two. It hurts so much to watch this happening and knowing I can't say or do a thing to change it. Any suggestions on how I can cope, would be helpful.