Funny things kids say

Granddaughter, about 3 paddling in the sea, shouting "what is happening to me" as the waves went in and out

My GDG is almost 2 and the other day she walked up to my husband and said, “Grandad, asshole” we were both gobsmacked!! She said it again then pulled him over to the tv. She then said “ look asshole”. The kid’s programme Paw Patrol was on ???. We now use Paw Patrol when describing people who are not very nice. ???

When my daughter was expecting her 3rd baby my 6 year old grandson said excitedly “ I know what to call the baby - Jesus” luckily she had a girl

My 3 yr old DGD has a passion for ‘flingoes’ and ‘hoonycorns’ at the moment. When her big sister was 3 she confused us for ages referring to ‘broccoli’ lights at Christmas until we worked out they were in fact sparkly lights

DGS aged about four said 'May I leave the table?' His Mum said, 'What's the magic word?' (meaning 'please'). He looked baffled and answered 'Abracadabra'!

On hearing Grandpa had bought the wrong length of trousers,wee madam said "dont worry granny ,you dont have to take them back,he'll grow into them....."

My children were always expected to say thank you for a nice dinner please may I get down from the table ?
Four your old son said may I get down from the table
I said what about thank you for my nice dinner ?
He said “it wasn’t nice “

My Grandson was told he had to work hard at school, so that, when he left, he could have any job he wanted. He said he wanted to be a mermaid.

My DM came to stay bringing sweets for the children. Please don't give them those mum, you are bribing them to behave and I don't like bribes.
"Give me bribes grannie" piped up the 3 yr old. "I like bribes".

My 2 year old GS was having his supper and was urged by his Mummy to eat up his carrots so that he would be able to see in the dark. ‘Or I could just get a torch,’ was his very reasonable reply.

My grandson talking to his little brother about his grandad ' don't ask him to hurry up, he's slow because he's very, very old' (he's very fit and in his 60s) .

I was singing along to the radio and my neighbour's little boy enquired 'Did they have music like that when you were alive?'

DS1, when telling me about something he insisted was called "The Harvest Vegetable" said that on Monday they were doing it for the mummies and daddies, then on Tuesday "We are doing it for......for.......(long and thoughtful pause) "The crumple faced ladies and gentlemen"

it was the "ladies and gentlmen" bit that tickled me!

DS1 was about 10, out walking in the sand dunes while on holiday, tripped over in a rabbit hole, got up very angry and said “who put that there?
We still laugh about it now! his face was a picture?

They still say cute things at 9. I always put the presents I have bought granddaughters for Christmas in individual sacks. M picked hers up on Christmas morning and said"ah yes the little bag of joy" I was chuffed!

My DGD 4 this year were sitting on a bench dedicated to a man called Stanley in 1923. I told my DGD that was my Daddy’s name and she asked me where he lives. I told her that he had sadly died. She looked very concerned and said “ You’re not going to die are you Nana because who will look after me”

I recall many ! years ago my six year old eldest daughter asking my father' Were you a Viking granddad?' At that time we were watching a TV documentary on those who had invaded Britain hundreds of years ago. Grandfather was not impressed.

DS3 was about 2, sitting on my lap, when his siblings and I were discussing “Monday’s child is fair of face”, etc. I commented that three of were Thursday’s child, except him. He was Tuesday’s child, full of grace. He turned to me and said indignantly “ I’m not full of grapes!”

My granddaughter was told to ask daddy if he would like his apple turnover slightly warmed, she asked him if he wanted it scartly wormed. It's still called that.!!!

Family were here for lunch yesterday and 7 yr old DGS said I love this trifle grandma it's good you use the tried and tested recipe! Old head on very young shoulders

My favourite one is at school pick up when my darling granddaughter fell over, she got her self up but then was looking all around her on the ground. She’d “lost my circles” I helped her look without success, it was the holes in her warm woolly tights

When grandson George was three and I was providing lunch, I asked whether he would like a hot cross bun. His reply.....I’d like a cold one please Nanny ?

3 year old DGD has gone off kisses. I told her that I still liked kisses, so she told me to "kiss you then".

My sister said to her five year old daughter, 'You're up early this morning'. Little one replied, 'I'm not a pearly'.....

My DD2 is not very tall. When she was picking her 10 yr old up from after school club a younger child looked her up & down and asked, "Are you a little big one? "