Our grandchildren

Oh dear! Could you offer to babysit one evening a week and let them go out? You could then bath your GC and let them enjoy water play. If they enjoyed it they may encourage their parents to let them play in the bath more often. Why is your DIL unsteady?

Is this your first post Nana59 ?

I find it hard to believe your story

There was a little boy in a similar state at nursery, and he never had a hair cut either. A very bouncy, happy, incredibly healthy child. Just a little grubby!

Go with mumofmadboys idea and don’t worry too much.

It is my first post
, I look after grandchildren sometimes, just find it hard to mention, thanks so much for replying

My DIL is very snappy always has been everyone is on tinterhooks around her , I just hate seeing my grand babies dirty. Believe me I have bathed them both when they stay with me

welcome Nans59
Keep washing them when they come to you and try not to worry Can you have them stay over once a week and give them a bath otherwise not much you can do if you can’t approach your son or daughter in law

Are you perhaps over-reacting a little bit? The general trend nowadays is not to bathe so often. We were encouraged to give our children a bath every night, but that again was perhaps an over-reaction to the previous generations when Sunday was bath night. It is now cosidered that washing too often using chemical cleansing products can lead to all sorts of skin problems. My grandchildren don´t have baths very often, when they were with me over the Christmas holidays I made them bathe every night. Old-fashioned me. My daughter didn´t object, my house my rules.

Can you take them swimming regularly to your local toddler pool? That way it’s an activity that gets them clean but isn’t seem
As a snub.

By the way when they start school this could be flagged up as neglect so have a frank chat with your lazy son.

Again baffled as our routine was always tea, bath, story, bed.

Shock, horror...
I didn't bath my children every night
I would top 'n' tail as babies and the wash face and hands as toddlers and bath every 3 days or so.

I think being dirty with matted hair is a different issue altogether.

I suppose it depends on peoples perception of 'dirty'.

Yes but if you top and tail your kids are clean and presumably you washed and brushed their hair and scrubbed nails?

Matted hair in my book no excuse and that’s dirty also nails should be scrubbed bevies bed. It’s not too much to ask is it.

Are they following your example?

Polyester57 It is now cosidered that washing too often using chemical cleansing products can lead to all sorts of skin problems.

I've heard such comments over the years, but where on earth is the evidence of these supposed "skin problems" caused by bathing ? We all bathed our babies every night, so you'd think that there would be a huge number of 30-40 year old people with bad skin conditions. Which seems to be not the case. I think that whole idea is / was a myth.

My youngest GD has very curly hair that matts overnight even when its tied back .Its a nightmare brushing it in the morning and she squeals that we tug her head.
I find if I spray with leave in conditioner it helps prevent the matting,you could try that ,the bonus is it helps prevent head lice too and they all get them when they go to school or nursery.
You could give them packs of facewipes and make a game of them cleaning their hands and faces if they are really mucky ,my GD has bad exzema and she has wipes for sensitive skin she carries about with her for regular wiping down

Too much washing can cause eczema. But it is bubble baths etc which are mainly to blame. Best to stick with water and soap only on the mucky bits.

Two of my DGSs never ever comb their hair. They bath once a week; and any visible dirt in between times is wiped off with a flannel. If it ain't visible then no-one worries about it. They do wash their hands before eating if they have been handling the chickens etc.

When they stayed overnight and I was getting them ready for school the next day I said "Have you washed your faces and combed your hair?" they looked at me in shock horror - "We don't do THAT, Grandma!"

They are lovely boys and do not seem to have come to any harm because of this. No doubt in a few years they will be hogging the bathroom as they tart themselves up for a date!

stella1949 but yes, there are, precisely 30 to 40 year olds with skin problems. This is why they are targeted by all the advertisements for various skin creams and emoluments. Since I cottoned on to this, I only shower with water. Nothing else is required to get the daily grime off

Throw them in the tub when you have them, and stay quiet otherwise unless you see them neglected in other ways. Why is your son so lazy? What does ‘unsteady’ mean?

I was at the opticians the other day and a mother came in with two girls of about 9 and 11. The girls had long hair which was completely matted. It looked as if they had never had their hair brushed in their lives. I am afraid eventually their heads will need to be shaved. It was so sad as they were very pretty girls.

My 3 year old DGD likes to shower as well as going in the bath which makes it easy if mum is in a hurry.
I see no harm in bathing every day. I feel unclean if I don't shower every day.

Don't 'bath' them, she perhaps won't like it but you could put them in the bath to play with the water.

I find your report rather difficult to understand because children under 5 are monitored by the health visitor. Ours tuened up unexpectedly. If they go to nursery any neglect would be noticed. Is it possible you think it is worse than it is?

No health visitor came to monitor my grandson.
Chance would have been a fine thing!

@Nonnie my DD is 5 and we've seen a HV twice! When she was a newborn and at her 1 year review.

Once they're feeding well, they don't bother and move on to the next patient. You also don't have to see them, parents are well within their right to tell them to go away. I know a lot of people who haven't bothered with them with their 2nd child onwards.