Naughty Step

The phrase 'naughty step' for this particular technique is of very recent origin. The technique has been around for centuries. When watching Supernanny and the like, I often used to wonder what would have happened if they had a child who refused to co-operate with the procedure, I do not mean screaming and tantruming, just uncooperative, like DD simply turning it into something she was happy doing.

It is up to the parents/grandparents to study the child and then decide what is the best way to work with the child to either make them understand when their actions are wrong and that wrong doings have consequences.

I would go for the positive reinforcement when he's good. Praising a child for not having a tantrum and explaining, "You've been SO good today, no tantrums, well done."
is IMHO better than taking punitive action when they are naughty.

Children have to learn good manners and what is acceptable, but at 2, the only way they have to show disapproval or frustration is to fling themselves down and scream.
Leave them to it, then later at a quiet time say, 'You were very angry, weren't you? What made you so angry?' and give them an alternative to the full-on paddy.

Talking things over with granny is great when you're 9 or 10, impossible at two, so what could he do to get rid of his frustration?

My dgs had one of those sand-filled inflatable things he could bop.
He wasn't a bad tempered child, far from it but had to go through a very hard time and situation he found difficult to cope with. Bashing this thing helped.
What could your little fellow do to help him cope?

I must say, I did this at an older age than 2!

I did exactly the same as PECS, a very firm No, do not..........
then ignore and physically turn away, making yourself look busy, even walking away, say into the kitchen to make a drink, or picking up a book to read.
I did this with my children and five Grandchildren and it worked with all of them.
I was with my daughter and oldest Grandchildren, 20 year old twin girls and we were talking about kids being naughty, (I can't remember why,) and the girls said that the worst punishment was Grandma ignoring them, until they were good. Daughter said, she remembered it well. ?
As soon as they are good, I was once again all sweetness and light, so it was a very obvious change in my demeanour.
I never 'faced-up ' to them or directly challenged them as then you have a war of wills, which makes a not very good atmosphere.
As soon as they were 'good' again, there would be no mention of the incident from me, for instance, the toys thrown off the table, I would just say, "let's pick these up, shall we".
I'm not into "naughty steps".

Having never used a naughty step either for children or grandchildren I have no idea if 2 is too young, but would guess that it is.
At that age I would say to the child ‘no, we can’t do that ( whatever he wants to do) ‘ but we can do...blah blah’ it usually worked.

MissA

My daughters dog used to eat the cat's food then go and sit on the naughty step.

I never tried the 'Naughty Step' with my own or DGCs. Never used naughty at home or work! Always described what I did not like. Naughty is too abstract when you are 23 months!

My lot were just normal kids with good days and bad. They knew when I was not happy with them because I just ignored them. DD2 would try to turn my face round to look at her!
Your DGS little world has changed and routines too if parents are no longer together. Hopefully he is young enough to adjust easily but he will sense things. 23 months is the time he needs to push boundaries and discover just what is acceptable or not! Try the ignoring & physically turning away after saying firmly Do not throw xxx 'and see how it goes..it works for a lot of kiddies. Just keep a secret eye to make sure he (and your belongings) are safe

I'd broadly agree that 23 months is too young. He won't understand it enough to stay there, and as trisher says, it can escalate.
I think the 'naughty step' can be useful for some children.
I would say that your DGC is behaving typically for his age. As for getting him to pick the toys up - usually at this stage I would let them be (unless something might get broken or trip me up!) then when the tantrum is over, get them to hep me pick them up and return them.
I think that maybe your DGC is a little uncertain about rules - he has 3 settings (and a childminder or nursery as well?) to understand. And you feel less certain in this set up. I would talk to your son, and possibly, if it would work, with both parents and say how you like to do things.
Good luck

I think his behaviour sounds the norm for 23 months.My granddaughter was always quite happy to go to the naughty step,my daughter realised DGD had put a collection of little toys on it in readiness for when she was naughty!

My two youngest GD 's fight ,they have the same personality the I'm the boss one.I used to put them on the naughty step but after just a few times the knew when to go sit on it themselves and would happily wander hand in hand down the hall and sit themselves down.Did it stop them fighting? Not at all, but at least they knew they shouldn't.They were a bit older than 23 months though I think thats a wee bit young

23 months? Just coming up to the terrible 2s, the age when he wants to assert his independence and have everything his way.

The naughty step does not work for all children. My DD once she got to the naughty step, would have completely forgotten why she was there and start telling herself stories, singing little songs, making up pretend games. When told to apologise and join every one she would look at me blankly, not knowing what I was talking about and say she was there because she wanted to be there.

Similarly she would 'punish' me, if I did not do as she wanted, doing exactly the things you describe, Coolgran65. She always made it quite clear that she could bring herself up quite satisfactorily, without my constant interference.

How did we manage. I am not sure, but we did.

I've never liked the naughty step. The problem with it is that if you meet a really obstinate child you have no way out. You insist child goes on naughty step, they don't, you insist again and what might have been a niggling little incident takes up a whole afternoon. It is supposed that the child will eventually give in but there are some who won't. And the original reason for the discipline is lost somewhere in all of this.
I always went for a commanding "NO" and a frown with "Granny doesn't like that". I think the key is building a relationship of love and care where he really wants to please you.
As far as temper tantrums go have you monitored when these happen? A tired or hungry child is much more likely to have one. I always go for distraction- looking for something, pretending I've seen something etc. Very firmly saying no is useful too. I think the thing to remember is that although we may attribute reasoning to them, for toddlers it is a scarey emotional experience and they actually appreciate an adult taking charge. A big cuddle when they begin to calm down is essential as well.

I’d be ignoring that behaviour at two. Choosing your battles is important, and they’re doing it to get attention. Reacting lets them learn they get attention for bad behaviour, so they’ll do it all the more.
I took parenting classes for many years, and it was mostly like Supernanny’s techniques, the main difference being that 5 minutes was the longest time in time out, and the timing only started when the child is quiet.

Having a tantrum isn’t being naughty if you’re two! It’s just normal behaviour.

From age 2 is recommended I think, but only if the child is really capable of understanding what they've done wrong and that it's a consequence for that behaviour. Most 2 year olds I've worked with aren't really at that point yet, so it all depends on whether you think your grandson could understand that yet.

I tend to go with sodapops approach of ignoring at that stage. Or if out in public just a firm 'no' and then distract them.

I just ignored the tantrums at that age. Ensure the child is not hurting himself and wait it out. Praise and positive reinforcement when the child is calm. Of course this is difficult when you are away from home.

Yes, I'm a fan of Super Nanny myself.

I don't think its too early, but am only basing that on 'superNanny'.
Its a minute for every year. You'd have to round it up to two.