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Grandparenting

11 Year Old Has Changed Her Name

(123 Posts)
hellymart Fri 01-Mar-19 14:10:07

My friend's 11 year old grandaughter decided to change her name (let's say from Frances to Molly - not really names for obvious reasons) and use her middle name rather than her first name, when she started secondary school last September. I've only just found out when I saw a post on Facebook and it's come as a surprise! Nothing to do with me of course and I wouldn't comment on it to anyone involved, but I'm interested to know what others think. Did you - or your children - change first names at some point in your life? (and if so, why!?)

MissAdventure Wed 06-Mar-19 19:10:51

My Nan decided she didn't like the name she had chosen for my dad, so she crossed it out on the birth certificate and wrote the name she preferred.
So, we were never quite sure what his name was, legally.

Newatthis Wed 06-Mar-19 16:36:00

In coffee shops they sometimes ask your name - I say one of the names that I would have liked to be called (usually something very glamorous). So I have a different name each time - silly I know, but fun. My mum changed my sister's name when she was 3 to her middle name and she has been known as that name ever since.

Lisalou Wed 06-Mar-19 06:30:13

My husband changed his, to his middle name. He youngest of four and his first name (quite a nice name in itself) was turned into a baby name when he was quite young. As he grew, his parents and siblings continued to use the baby name, despite his demands to have his real name used. As they paid no attention to his request, he changed to his middle name when he was 11. Everyone complied except his eldest brother who continued to use the baby name until he was in his thirties!

Marmight Tue 05-Mar-19 07:44:45

?

Oldwoman70 Tue 05-Mar-19 07:38:59

Two of my father's brothers were called Harold William and William Harold (I think my grandparents ran out of names!) Harold was always called Bill and William was always called Harry!

Marmight Tue 05-Mar-19 04:22:26

I loathe my first name. For some weird reason (long story) since birth I've been known by the derivitive of my 2nd name. e.g. Gladys Margaret, k.a. Maisie. I love my 2nd name and if it wasn't such a faff, changing loads of paperwork bank, insurances, passport etc. I'd change it formally. The derivative is a somewhat childish name and not suited in my opinion to a woman of advancing years. I cringe when I'm called over the tannoy at the surgery or similar places "Mrs Gladys Marmight to surgery 4" and have been 'outed' to friends and acquaintances many a time!

Ginny42 Tue 05-Mar-19 04:06:30

When my sister was a child she hated her first name. It was a very old-fashioned name 70 years ago, but she was named after my mother's best friend. Mine was shortened, so I said well we can only shorten yours to 'E'' and we did! She's still called 'E' sometimes by me and my elder sister.

We were in JL recently and heard a young mother say to her little girl, 'Come on E...... ' My sister nearly collapsed!

TerryM Tue 05-Mar-19 02:28:40

I use my middle name online which I thought was clever 10 plus years ago ...now of course I have made real time friends who call me Terry confusing my old time friends who don't lol
My great uncle was known as Bill....his real name was something totally different
My father used his second name from early teen. His mother was the only one who called him his first name

chrissyh Mon 04-Mar-19 15:19:00

My DD had called herself by the shortened form of her first name since she left school because she really didn't like her full name. everybody since has called her that. The problem is she had to use her full name for anything official so she changed it by deed poll.

M0nica Sun 03-Mar-19 20:22:28

Ah yes, my mother used to call each of her 3 daughters by all three names.

DD was always known by a dimunitive of her first name and when she was about 11, she decided that that was her name and she would only use the full spelling on legal documents. She also changed the spelling from the English to Irish version.

I was told one of my uncles got up one morning came down to breakfast and announced to all and sundry that henceforth he would be known by his second name and would not respond to his first name. I think he was about 12 at the time.

I do not think this name changing as children movefrom primary to secondary school is that uncommon.

Jalima1108 Sun 03-Mar-19 14:33:45

Are you OK Dorothy?

muffinthemoo Sun 03-Mar-19 14:20:23

"Aunty Em! Aunty Em! There's no place like home!"

Funnygran Sun 03-Mar-19 13:14:42

My DH and myself have been known by our middle names for all our lives. Both sets of parents said the names 'flowed' better that way rather than the other name coming second which is probably true. But we always say we have two identities, one for the NHS and any other official documents and one for family and friends. I just have to remember to respond when I'm called for in the doctors or the dentists!

maddyone Sun 03-Mar-19 10:54:43

I don’t like my first name but I like my second (middle) name. I wish I’d had the courage to change to my second name years ago, however I didn’t and I feel I’m a bit long in the tooth to change now.

downtoearth Sun 03-Mar-19 10:24:50

My GD aged 20,has lived with me since age of 4,a few of you know the back history,announced last night she also wants to be known by her middle name.
Her birth name with an altered spelling is said to be a muslim name,she is of mixed race,and has sadly had many comments and questions regarding this to the point where she feels uncomfortable,it is sad that because of the tensions regarding a minority of people she feels necessary to do this.
We live in a rural area,where there are very few different cultures and therefore she stands out a lot more.
Her middle name is also very pretty and also unusual,but will take a lot of getting used to .

Magrithea Sun 03-Mar-19 09:47:02

My mum (now 95) is known by her second name and has been for years! My SiL was known by his second name but is now called by his given (first) name for various reasons. A good friend's daughter changed her name completely (not to one of her given names) after changing schools following bullying.

If the child wants to be known by one of her other names then it's up to her and her parents

NannyEm Sun 03-Mar-19 00:01:40

All my family call me by the nickname of "Em". My grandsons call me "NannyEm", my nieces call me "Aunty Em" but all except one of my friends call me by my given name.

BradfordLass72 Sat 02-Mar-19 23:28:05

I've never liked or disliked my given names; they were modern in the 40's and are quite bland. Not unpleasant but nowt to write home about. smile

As a teenager, I used to wish I were called Francesca or Gabriella. I grew out of that.

BradfordLass72 Sat 02-Mar-19 23:12:58

Baggs it's a good job we didn't stick to our son's in utero name... it was Prune Face!

Katek Sat 02-Mar-19 23:11:23

My brother has always been known by his middle name as putting then the other way round led to an unfortunate set of initials! His first name is a family name so had to stay. It’s quite common where we live for children to be called by both their names, so for instance we have Stephanie Louise and Michael John. It’s a fishing community so think it’s traditional. It also helps differentiate between lots of people from different families with the same surname, also very common here.

BradfordLass72 Sat 02-Mar-19 22:49:07

When my son told his grandma he'd changed his name and did she mind?

She said, 'You can call yourself cup and saucer if you like, just don't sign your wedding certificate that way.'

We called him 'Cup and Saucer' for quite a while until the novelty wore off.
grin

BlueSapphire Sat 02-Mar-19 21:28:19

For some reason my youngest sister was always known by her second name up until she married, and then she announced that she wished to be known by her first given name. This is 45 years ago, and I still cannot get used to the change! It still feels alien to call her by her first name.

mcem Sat 02-Mar-19 21:28:18

Matthew and Daniel must be close to 'everlasting'!
New Testament and Old Testament so I'd say classic rather than shlrt-term popular.
DS and DiL are at the stage of choosing a name for their first baby and seem to like a name until they decide it doesn't "go" with the surname.
Also careful about initials which might form unfortunate acronyms - think Philip Ian Graham!
I have very little idea of their thinking but know they both have excellent taste and won't choose anything tacky or trendy.
8 weeks and we'll know if it's a Kylie or a Wayne!

BradfordLass72 Sat 02-Mar-19 21:27:30

When I was pregnant with our second child and we were thinking of baby names, I asked my husband why he had insisted on a quite unusual first name for our then 10 year old. Was it, perhaps, a family name?
'No', he said, 'and I don't really like it now.' Sheesh!

So we asked our son what he felt about his name and he said he'd always hated it and would far prefer his second name (my choice).

So we decided to change it.

We put cards with this new name all round the house; we informed the school and by the time his brother was born, we were all used to the 'new' name and that's the way its been ever since.

Only has paternal grandparents who lived a long way from us and were rarely able to visit, ever called him by his original name.

We were told, however, that if it ever came to signing a legal document, my elder boy would need to put his full, registered name. No problem.

Saggi Sat 02-Mar-19 20:44:24

Luckily I named my kids with everlasting names....and they both love them . My son was the only person to have the name in a school with 400 kids and so was my daughter. I would never have gone with popular names as they soon grow tired when you hear them so much. My son had three Matthews and five Daniels in his class of 33 kids in the eighties/ nineties