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Settling DGS

(25 Posts)
Maybelle Sat 27-Apr-19 17:32:49

I have looked after DGS (only 4 1/2 months old) a few times before with no problems.

He is breastfed and as usual my DD had left a bottle of expressed milk with full instructions on how to bring it to the right temperature.

So far so good ? Not today, got everything ready for his feed, waited until he was fussing for food. But he just wouldn't feed. Lots of tears and frustration later I discovered the only way I could get him to take the bottle was to face him away from me and let him look at the trees outside.

As soon as he spotted I wasn't mum he started to cry.

The joys of babies

Starlady Sat 27-Apr-19 17:54:14


Just off the top of my head, he's probably becoming aware of who his mom is, etc. and realizes that if she's not feeding him, she's not there. No doubt, he'll adjust in time. Glad you found a solution for now.

Starlady Sat 27-Apr-19 17:54:49

Oh and congrats on the (fairly) new dgs!

Luckygirl Sat 27-Apr-19 17:58:26

You just don't smell right! grin

PamelaJ1 Sat 27-Apr-19 18:31:18

Luckygirl, I always thought that the reason GC were happy with mums mum was that they smelt similar😂
I don’t really know why I think that🤔.
I hope your DGS didn’t starve Maybelle.

Maybelle Sat 27-Apr-19 19:11:27

So far 1 feed done, just about to start the bed time geed. Wish me luck

Maybelle Sat 27-Apr-19 20:07:19

Success, much happier to feed this time, still has to be facing away from me looking at the aquarium, but fed with no problems. he is just asleep now and waiting for DD to collect him

Nvella Sun 28-Apr-19 10:31:27

Maybe putting an item of your daughter’s (worn) clothing might help

Nvella Sun 28-Apr-19 10:31:52

I meant over your shoulder or something!

Nonnie Sun 28-Apr-19 10:52:25

I think this could be the start of something that normally happens at about 8 months. At around then only mum will do but somehow they settle after a while and then scream when mum appears.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 28-Apr-19 11:52:48

When my godson was being weaned he refused to feed from a bottle unless held by his father or any other man.

He pulled up any woman's blouse looking for the milk bar, as like most breast fed children he didn't care for that silly artificial teat!

Letting the wee one look out the window while you feed him is a really good idea.

sarahcyn Sun 28-Apr-19 12:48:43

Maybelle, I'm an antenatal teacher, not a breastfeeding counsellor, but what I do know about babies is that they are all different and never fail to surprise! I can't wait to be in your position in a few months time :-)
I'd also say the best place to get advice from is from a qualified infant feeding specialist - an IBCLC or a breastfeeding counsellor.

oodles Sun 28-Apr-19 12:55:21

It's nothing personal and it's often successful if you hold a baby facing outwards. Baby will make up for it later. It makes evolutionary sense for babies to only want their mum. I've known babies who were formula fed who would not take a bottle from anyone else but mum even when she'd been out at work. Indeed current guidance is not to pass a tiny baby round everyone to feed, however she is fed. Worrying for you as the caregiver.

MamaCaz Sun 28-Apr-19 13:24:51

My DGD started crying whenever her mummy disappeared at about the same age. She's nearly ten months now and still like that, though not quite as bad as she got at around seven months.

She quite often goes on hunger strike when neither mummy nor daddy are there. She has done it with me a few times recently when I have looked after her over a mealtime, though not every single time.
As she is about to start coming to me twice a week and going to nursery once a week when mummy goes back to work in a week's time, we are all really hoping that she adjusts quickly!

I would also like to add that a baby wanting to feed in a different, probably more upright, position can sometimes be a sign of acid reflux or some other form of food-related discomfort.

ElaineI Sun 28-Apr-19 13:50:05

DGS2 refused bottle, sippy cup, straw (health visitor suggestion) and I was very anxious as DD went back to work when he was 7 months. He would take some sips of water but no milk of any kind and had a huge feed when mummy came home. He was weaning so I knew he wouldn't starve. Now 13 months he has mastered a 360 cup and sippy cup so is finally drinking some of the frozen EBM but he is very thrawn and it is only on his terms. There are bottles called minbie supposed to be good for breast fed babies. That was going to be our next resort (could set up a shop for bottles as tried so many kinds). He would occasionally take 60mls if almost asleep so we had long walks with the pram. Now DD doing a late shift once a week and he still won't take much of a drink before bed. He is still waking for night feeds though and thriving so all the worry at first has abated a little.

Maybelle Sun 28-Apr-19 15:12:45

Thank you all for the support and ideas.
DGS only here for an extended babysitting session. As DD and SiL went out for a meal and cinema treat.

We see him every week and babysit monthly so far. So feeding him is not too big an issue. Only 3rd time I have been in a position to feed him when mum is out.

Keeping calm and distracting him with mobiles or fish tank seemed to work.

Other than that he was a sweetie pie.

Every child is indeed different, and even though he is not yet 5 months old he has very definite likes and dislikes.

Thanks again

Katyj Sun 28-Apr-19 15:38:31

Aww he's a mummy's boy, bless him.My two dgd were never bothered who fed them or looked after them.That's boys for you.Enjoy him.

Katyj Sun 28-Apr-19 15:39:25

That's boys for you.

BettyWhite Sun 28-Apr-19 18:53:56

Yearoff Sun 28-Apr-19 19:02:46

My DD gave me her sweaty dressing gown to wear when I had my DGD. Worked like a charm. Breastfed babies are very in tune with snell of their mummy. Congratulations on your DGS.

Grandmama Sun 28-Apr-19 19:26:50

Both my DDs were breastfed for a year (I became an NCT breastfeeding counsellor). When they were quite small if anyone, male or female, held them they often nuzzled up and tried to find a nipple. DD2 always liked the same breast so keeping her the same way round I tucked her under my arm and moved her across to the other breast and she never noticed because she was the same way round. At 13 months DD1 was only having a bedtime feed and one evening absolutely refused to breastfeed. And that was it, couldn't be enticed to feed however I tried.

annodomini Sun 28-Apr-19 19:37:08

When DS1 was about 3 months, H and I had to go house-hunting and left him with my sister in law. A very sociable baby, he was quite happy to take a bottle from her, though he would have refused it from me. I was so engorged by the time we got back that he got the feed of his little life! I felt quite upset when, at 7 months, he clamped his jaws shut and refused point blank to take the breast. His younger brother was quite different!

Grammaretto Sun 28-Apr-19 22:23:14

My DD was a bit surprised when she returned from an evening out to find DGD had wolfed down both the bottle of expressed breast milk and the bottle of aptimil for emergency!
She's still at 18months a very good eater. takes after her gran!!

crazyH Sun 28-Apr-19 22:41:47

My granddaughter (16 today), used to go to sleep, smelling the belt of her mother's dressing gown. Ofcourse, I stayed with her till she dropped off and then would remove the belt. I never used to give her the whole dressing gown, in case, it smothered her. Come to think of it, the belt could have done more damage....the thought scares me.

BradfordLass72 Mon 29-Apr-19 04:07:24

Feeding is a very special, comforting time and babies associate this, naturally, with Mummy.

It might help to have a garment belonging to your DD that he can smell as he feeds but as he gets older, and if you feed him regularly, he'll associate that comforting feeling with you too.

I wonder if having soothing music playing would help?

But in the end, all babies want Mummy first, for comfort, warmth and safety and that's the way it should be.