How to broach subject/support daughter

We had the same lack of speech with my granddaughter; at nearly 3 years old you couldn’t understand a word she said, and certainly couldn’t have a conversation. She was a bright happy little soul .... who loved gardening with me , going to the park... playing footie in the garden.... eating.... baking... but never ever would play with toys of any sort. She also loved to be read to. My daughter is a child psychologist, and even she was worried enough to contact a friend of hers, a speech therapist. She came to see her and said as long as she was ‘babbling’ she was ok. Within a few months, when she was 3 years and 2 months it just all came falling out.... small words... long words.... easy words.... hard words. It was incredible... and almost straight away you could have a sensible conversation with her. We couldn’t believe it. It’s the same with everything she does now... it seems like she can’t get to grips with things like reading, numbers, craft work, then all of a sudden it all clicks into place almost overnight. Even her teachers are bemused by it all. Although she still never plays with toys of any kind... now she’s two years ahead in reading and has to have maths workbooks a year older than she is. I’m trying to say not to worry.... as my daughter said about our little one..... she just didn’t have anything interesting to say yet!

Wait until they've done tests before you start to overtly panic. His parrnts are probably panicked enough for all of you. Remember grandparents are there to support parents

My daughter didn't say a word until she was 3. She is now 43 and teaches robotics at a girls school. Sometimes children have their own timetable - don't panic . Your DGS may just be a late talker .

My son, now 41 had only half a dozen words around his 2nd birthday and also had amazing temper tantrums (frustration). This was all duly noted by a concerned health visitor. Sometime later he was able to speak in full, articulate sentences. He’s now a director for an American company.

the advice your HV has given you is sound, Continue the stimulation of live language and singing. Singing is a good way into language for slow talkers, as it is for people who stammer. You will very probably find he will have a language 'explosion' after he's 2 if you continue your good language stimulation.

At this point it is not necessarily a cause for concern. If a child is not speaking in 2-word sentences by age 2, that should be investigated, but it sounds as if he is not quite there yet.

Your DD is being proactive and has already taken steps to have him seen. For now, I suggest waiting.

I have twin granddaughters same age your grandson. You have described a very similar picture to my girls. Nothing you have said are ringing alarm bells with me at all and certainly not autism.
We are a medical and nursing family (their daddy is a consultant). None of us are worried. They will get there and so will your grandson ?

When we went on holiday DS was barely speaking and we’d decided to start investigating on our return. He was just 2 at the time. A few weeks later he suddenly announced “last time we came over this bridge it was turquoise”. That was a good six months earlier so presumably he had the vocabulary but didn’t see the need to use it. He now works for a multi national company explaining their new products in written and verbal form to all levels of employees and the public.

DGD babbled her own language till she was 20 months. She never stopped but not in English. Then suddenly converted to speaking intelligible sentences. Still never stops. Probably go with what HV says and try not to worry. It might help to try signing with him?

I think 20 months is too early to worry. One of my grandsons was 2 in February and not talking. His brother didn’t talk til 2 and a half and then he started to speak beautifully!

I’m a speech and language therapist and the first thing I thought was that he could be hard of hearing. It’s true that receptive language (understanding) difficulties are more of a worry than expressive. SLT waiting lists can, unfortunately, be very long. The HV should be able to tell you what the situation is in your area. One thing you could do to help the SLT is to jot down in a notebook the sounds that he makes, e.g. p, m, oo, and how long his strings of babbling are (yayagooeeyeeyee = 6 syllables). Does he use the same sounds consistently for the same object? If he always says doodoo when he sees the dog, and never for anything else, that is counted as a word. For his receptive language, don’t always put pressure on him to respond independently. When looking at books or a number of toys say “Where’s the dog?” and then immediately “There’s the dog!” With the sort of exaggerated intonation that we all use to babies! My GS has just turned one and his speech is woeful. He babbles a bit but with a limited range of sounds. It’s not as if he’s concentrating on physical abilities - he only started crawling a month ago. It’s lovely that your GS is happy. Keep on with the stimulation, and don’t let him see your anxieties. The HV is on the case, so you can leave things to her for the time being. Good luck to you all going forward.

lily65
I don’t understand your message.

At some point, a caregiver is going to realise when something isn’t quite right, be it 10 months, 20 months, 2 years......

Surely the sooner you get a diagnosis and help for any developmental delay, the better?

grannybeek
I hoped it was because he was hard of hearing!
A couple of grommets - job done! However, his hearing test and tympanogram were perfect.

Thanks for your advice, we do most of what you suggested but will plod on
It’s a good idea to write down a list of his babbling.
There’s definitely lots of different sounds but nothing we can make any sense of!
DD is convinced he said ‘up’ clearly a couple of weeks ago but not so clearly since.
He looks for my cats and makes a ‘ah’ sound which could be mistaken for ‘at’ at times.
I think he’s quite frustrated bless him.

The HV didn’t specify that waiting lists were long, but maybe she didn’t want to admit that they are!
I will encourage DD to chase it up if we don’t hear anything in a couple of months.

Elaine DD did do a ‘taster’ session at a signing class but DGS really didn’t seem to like it.
I don’t think she rebooked but will check.

Thanks for other positive stories.
I need to hear them to keep me calm until we know.
I’m seeing DD and DGS again tomorrow so will be doing some of the things suggested

Our GD didn’t speak until she was just over 3 years old. She understood everything we said but would only reply with yes/no answers. Then one day she just took off with complete sentences.
She chose her time, she’s still a perfectionist at 10!

We worry so much about all our children ad grand children when they were little. I did and now I know there was nothing to worry about. Babies develop at a different rate and it's no reflection of how bright they will be later. My youngest was at nursery with a little boy who absolutely refused to speak, at home or at nursery. He did eventually and it now an eminent Barrister. One of my grand children refused to walk, eat solids, speak until 18 months. Oh my goodness was I worried! She is now a very bright, top of her class 10 year old. Very sensitive children sometimes take a bit longer.
It might be a good idea to recheck hearing as it can be missed by early checks.
More likely than not there's no problem. We love them just as they are but we still worry.

I don't think there's any harm in getting things checked out if you (general) are worried. And if dd were ignoring the concerns, then I'd feel you needed to say something even if just once. But, imo, she's on top of it, so please leave it alone for now. The hv and speech therapist, etc. will tell dd if anything is wrong, including if it's more than just a speech issues.

DD didn't say a word till she was about 20 months, not even mama or dada, but we knew she could understand us. And then one day I offered to help her on with her socks, and she came out with a full sentence "She'll do it herself!" . And never looked back, couldn't stop her after that.
More than likely there's no problem but it doesn't do any harm to get checked out.

@Flaxseed

'I came across a test for Autism called m-chat and he scores as ‘high risk’.'

I'd say whose business it is , if and when he turns out to have autism are you then going to say - I told you so...

I’d say whose business it is , if and when he turns out to have autism are you then going to say - I told you so

Of course not

I’m a qualified Health Visitor and from professional and personal experience just because a child doesn’t start talking later than most children do doesn’t mean they will have speech delay. Once they start having Speech & Language Therapy they catch up very quickly. My granddaughter didn’t utter a word until she was over 2 years old. She’s now 10 and a very bright articulate girl.

flaxseed, my comment was perhaps rather foolish but I do think some are over eager to diagnose and beware of Dr. Google.
People develop at different rates, with our obsession with league tables and milestones, we seem to have forgotten that.

My GC is "happy, loving, sociable" and also autistic. Pps maybe don't understand that autism is a very wide umbrella of a term.
GC still has delayed speech, often doesn't respond to questions. We're getting all the correct assistance and he's doing well. He's the light of our lives and the accommodations we have to make for him are well worth it.

* Flaxsee* maybe it is too early to worry bout your grandson, but i had the same concerns about one of mine, i had read an article about Autism and my grandson fitted all of the signs of Aspbergers syndrome,
I did voice my concerns to myson but of course he didnt want to know,
One of the signs was that they dont particularly like being hugged or even touched sometimes, also like things in a certain order,he wouldnt eat food if there were different things on his plate,they had to be put on different plates, also wouldnt even eat certain foods, and seemed to live on checken nuggets, he was a bit older than your grandson at this point, but he was assessed only at school age ,when he was very disruptive and had lots of tantrums, he is still picky with food though
My son had to often go and get him out of school because they couldnt cope with his rages almost, he was eventually diagnosed with Aspbergers, and went to a special school, which helped a lot
I hope your grandsons lack of speech is just being a bit slower for his age and nothing more, but watch for those signs,
Best wishes for you all
By the way he is now 23, and has a good job and is very intelligent, Aspbergers people usually are

He needs to have his hearing tested. I have come across this before and hearing was the answer. At the very least, try making noises behind him and see if he responds. If he doesn't then further hearing investigations are definitely the way to go.

I did not utter a sound until 3. My DM was apparently beside herself with worry trying everything available at the time. When I did start to talk and being seen by a Dr I was asked why I didn't talk I replied 'I didn't want to'. We are all different and hopefully your DGS will be like me and start chattering soon.