Has anyone experienced this?

I think some of our schools must be horrible to have to go to each day. Reading reports from the teachers' conferences about the behaviour by some pupils towards teachers in some schools, paints a picture of an environment which must be difficult for the pupils too. If your GS has been unwell with a virus it may be that of course as some viruses take a while to go and leave the body depleted.

I wish you and the family success in helping your DGS. It must be distressing for you all.

There are some really helpful comments here thank you everyone. I have been able to take something from each one and am going to do a sort of plan that could help find a way forward. Thank you to all of you who have posted and anymore experiences would be welcome

School refusal is quite common and it may have a lot of causes, so a solution needs to be worked out to suit an individual. Shortened periods in school, time in a small group rather than a large class, specific members of staff who can help him and talk to him might all help. My son was dyslexic and was bullied so his school refusal was understandable. You could start to investigate the possibilities of home schooling if that would be possible. I know school is always considered a natural part of a child's life but it is possible for them to get a good education without attending school. You may find that when the pressure is taken off he begins to think of going back to school.

I used to teach school refusers. To 'desensitise' I would drive them past the school a lot, then into the car park with no expectation of going into school. Then a teacher they liked and some friends encouraged them to go inside to play a game or watch something. Eventually they returned to a part time timetable and eventually to full time attendance. In the meantime, the school sent work for them to complete. Their day 9-3 needs to be filled with school work or independent study of some sort, no watching tv, playing, shopping trips etc.

My GD has been finding it very difficult to attend school. The school has been very supportive but she’s in Year 8 and needs to be there. Although she is in a private school the LEA have become involved and she now has a TA with her for half a day every day of the week. She seems to enjoy the work but finds the social side of school difficult. I think there are more of these children than we ever hear about.

My DS suffered from school phobia when he was about 10 years old. I couldn't get him out of bed, he would hide under the duvet and cry. He had nightmares too.

There were many things going on. DS was uncomfortable with lots of noise, he hated lunchtimes, the other children weren’t kind and one or two of his teachers shouted a lot. His previous teacher had said he wasn’t going to going to do very well academically.

I made an appointment with the head teacher who listened and then arranged for an educational psychologist to assess DS. Meanwhile, the school found lunchtime activities for DS and spoke to the staff about the way DS was treated. There was an almost immediate improvement but the educational psychologist's report concluded DS was severely dyslexic. The school pulled out all the stops to support him. By the time DS was 13, he'd worked out strategies to cope with his dyslexia although foreign languages were definitely too much of a challenge.

I hope Temas's GS gets help from the school. It's amazing what the right sort of help can do. I'm not suggesting that dyslexia is the problem, just that identifying how much DS was struggling (and the reasons for it) allowed supportive strategies to be put in place.

I go into our local high school to help with the school garden and a group of 3 or 4 girls from year 9 and 10 come and work with me and a support teacher. I haven't been told any individual stories but get the impression that they find classes too busy and noisy and need time out at the garden.
They are lovely and chatty with me. I hear about their pets and their granddad's tomatoes!
It is a huge school so perhaps they are able to employ support staff where a smaller school could not.
There is often a guidance teacher who can talk to your child and to the parents . Sometimes an eduucational psychologist can counsel the child and help them through a tricky patch.
I'm sure the school will have experience of similar school phobia..
I hope he gets some help soon.

Was the Illness ever diagnosed with anything as glandular fever can leave you very tearful and low My som had it when he was very young in primary school and the teacher told me at end of year that for three months after he had burst into tears at the least thing

Do try, s far as reasonable, to get work from school for him to do - and if that's awkward (varies with the school and the teachers) try to get him to do some sort of work:
research a topic that interests him,
learn a little of any language (lots of on-line stuff for free), go along to any sort of museum,
read any book and write a report about it,
learn some cooking,
write some oral history from any older person he knows -
Anything that keeps him to some sort of learning routine.

This will do 2 things:
1. Help you to see if the illness has left him with difficulty concentrating (if so, it can be built up gradually)
2. If the issue is learning / concentrating or school.

Good luck

All the suggestions above are helpful.
I wouldn't try to talk to him about it unless he raises the subject; just present yourself as a non-judgemental supporter and a place of refuge, short-term anyway.
Schools are familiar with school refusal and have all sorts of helping strategies. It is essential that the family works in partnership with them.

Children can develop a real phobia of school - sometimes for no apparent reason to others. It may need a combined approach by parents, school and possibly CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service) to gradually reintroduce him.

Sometimes offering a change of school may be enough. Taking the pressure off, by saying OK you don't need to go for the next (x) weeks, also gives proper time to relax and the fears to lessen.

Just wanted to add this is not a truancy issue - it’s school refusal.

Thank you everyone who has posted. There are a few really useful things here. He has said very little to his parents. Eventually he admitted he hated the noise caused by other pupils. School moved his groups a bit but it hasn’t worked. I have yet to ask him any questions as don’t want to get it wrong but I am prepared to help as much as I can. Problem at the moment is actually getting him into school and as each day goes by it is only going to get worse. The panic attacks (I haven’t witnessed one) must be alarming and upsetting for him and his parents.

I know someone who bunked off school a lot. He'd gone to a very small primary school and then sent to a huge secondary without any support. He was just frightened of all the people. He got into trouble for bunking off, of course, but no-one ever thought to ask him why.
Perhaps if someone appropriate - experienced with your GS's age group but neutral - can gain his confidence they might be able to fin dout what's worrying him. Maybe a move to a smaller school is the answer or just extra support to get back into routine.
I hope the school and GP are helpful.

Yes Temas, my GGS who is now 13 and because of his refusal to go to the " big " school when he was twelve and since his mother ( my GD ) and myself spoke to his teacher, he goes for half a day at a time. I was worried he could start wandering the streets if he'd " escaped " out of class without telling anyone.

I actually went alone to see his teacher last November for a talk and to see if he was being bullied as initially the boy was okay after the transition from primary to secondary . He's a twin but his sister has settled in.

I would also think this may be because he has lost time at school and feels he is behind his classmates,the senior school is very pressured we had similar with one of my GSs he was fortunate to have a very good form teacher who knew his caperbilities and he devised a programme where he could catch up at home or in free time at school,once he had caught up he relaxed and got back to normal.
I think it is a horrible age 11-14 for teenagers they have so much pressure at school for targets etc and keeping up with peer pressure,I hope he feels better soon.

He may have found it difficult work wise after losing a week in school it being hard to keep up afterwards, senior school is more pressured . Did other students or teachers say anything to upset him? Is there a school counsellor he can see to give him coping skills for his anxiety?

Many teens suffer from anxiety but with sympathy they can be helped. Young Minds is a good website for help for him, they often do support groups too so he knows it’s not just him feeling this way.

Well not exactly the same, but very similar

My youngest did a huge amount of sport at school, training before and after school, she hardly had a days illness till age about fourteen, she had a virus, went back to school and training, was ill again, collapsed at a competition and paramedics were called, then followed several months of her being up and down, several times I had to collect her from school, shaking and tearful, panic attacks? Eventually referred to a very kind paediatrician, and eventually she diagnosed post viral syndrome, took a few months to completely clear up, but absolutely fine ever since

Hope this helps