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Hopeful to be a new grandma!

(18 Posts)
CherLynne Sun 18-Aug-19 02:47:15

My daughter was on her 7th attempt at having a child. 7 rounds of artificial insemination and I was just told yesterday she is 5 weeks pregnant! Such a magnificent feeling and I’m so elated! But with all of the information on the internet she is terrified. So worries about miscarriage etc... when I had kids we didn’t worry about these things!!! So I’m trying to be excited while she is worried. I want to shout out to the world but she obviously wants to wait to tell anyone but me and I reapect that! But sheesh it’s hard! How have any of you dealt with this? How did you deal with your daughters anxiety over being pregnant?

Lyndiloo Sun 18-Aug-19 03:38:34

My daughter too, had problems getting pregnant. Luckily, she got pregnant on her very first treatment of IVF. They had 'inserted' two embryos. At about six weeks into her pregnancy, she began to bleed heavily. She was distraught. 'They've gone', she kept saying. So many tears ... It's hard to see your daughter in so much emotional pain. But although she lost one baby, the other continued to full-term, and she gave birth to a beautiful little girl.

Of course your daughter will be anxious and worried. She's been through seven attempts! And this pregnancy is so precious to her. You say, When I had kids we didn't worry about these things. You probably didn't worry because you'd had no problems!

So a bit of understanding is needed here.

Be patient with her. Calm and loving, and positive. As the pregnancy progresses I'm sure she will become less anxious of a miscarriage.

(And say your prayers!) Good luck.

GagaJo Sun 18-Aug-19 07:38:09

Not the same at all BUT my 32 year old daughter (only child), who was adamant she didn't want children got accidentally pregnant just over 2 years ago. There was a 2 to 3 week period where she tried to decide what to do.

I'm quite anti abortion (but totally support a woman's right to choice). And I was desperate for grandchildren. It was a nail biting time, but I was ecstatic when she announced that she'd decided to keep the baby.

He's 16 months now, and the joy of my life.

Lyndiloo Sun 18-Aug-19 15:55:45

What a lovely story, GagJo. Thanks for that!

M0nica Sun 18-Aug-19 16:04:46

Gagajo, I am so pleased for you, but do not count your chickens bfore they are hatched, for your daughter's sake as well as you own. 5 weeks is very early and the next 7 months is fraught with danger. If things go wrong you will need to be strong and ready to help your DD, not to devastated to help her because you raised your hopes too high too soon.

paddyann Sun 18-Aug-19 16:13:17

Please respect her wishes an dont tell anyone until she's passed the first trimester .I lost 5 pregnancies before the 12 week stage and I was very grateful I hadn't told anyone ..not even our parents .Its hard dealing with your own grief without trying to calm YOUR mother and assorted relations as well .I've no doubt they'll be keeping a watchful eye on her so I wish her a healthy pregnancy and a quick safe delivery .

BradfordLass72 Mon 19-Aug-19 05:11:34

MOnica's Lesson #1 - how to reassure or scare the bejeezus out of......the wrong person! grin

M0nica Mon 19-Aug-19 08:23:42

Oh, yes, I have just looked, I do apologise to both the correct and incorrect person.

Being serious, it is just I have seen the distress of those who build their hopes up too fast too soon, only to see them dashed, sometimes only days later. Of course cross your fingers and hope, but 5 weeks is so early in the process.

Starlady Wed 21-Aug-19 12:55:03

Congratulations, Lindy - and Gagajo, too!

Lindy, please be patient. There will be plenty of time to "shout out to the world" later on. Most people I know wait until they get past the 12-week mark, anyhow, just in case. Please continue to respect DD's wishes. It's not only the compassionate thing to do, but it could cause terrible trouble between you if you don't. Even when she begins to tell others, please don't do so yourself unless you ask her if it's ok. If it helps, please keep reaching out to us here until she lets you know you can go ahead and start talking, LOL!

DanniRae Wed 21-Aug-19 14:52:27

My daughter and her partner came to visit last November - nothing strange in this BUT she then announced that she was pregnant She then told me that she had lost a baby the previous May and even been in hospital for a procedure to do with losing the baby - she never told me any of this. I didn't question why but guess she didn't want to upset me.
So now I had a 45 year old pregnant daughter - who had already had a couple of bleeds. (She asked us to tell no-one until things were a lot more certain.) As each week crept by we became more and more hopeful - every time she was anxious about something to do with the baby her partner would look up the problem in an excellent 'baby book' to reassure her. Her bump grew - we told more and more people - they found out it was a boy - her partner felt him move for the first time - all these exciting steps came and went. She was so excited - well we all were - but so worried too. I don't think she could believe that she was, at last, going to be a mum. Then the BIG DAY and after a very long labour, he arrived safely. We were all so happy - and tomorrow he will be 3 months old! Our first grandchild!! But I know she still worries about him - I don't like to tell her that worrying about your child from birth onwards never goes away!!

gillybob Wed 21-Aug-19 15:03:53

I remember being fit to burst when my DD aged 34 and who had been told she would never have children, found out that against all odds she was 6 months pregnant . We only had a couple of months to prepare and now we have our precious little Evie. My bestest little lamb smile

Huge congratulations to you and your DD CherLynne lets hope she sails through this pregnancy.

GMa2208 Sat 24-Aug-19 09:33:17

Congratulations to you and fingers and toes crossed that all goes well. My DD and SiL tried for a long time, miscarried and we're told that she had PCOS and his sperm swam round in circles! Just before first IVF she found she was pregnant! I'm the proud "owner" of a beautiful grandson born yesterday. I wish you the same joy.

DanniRae Sat 24-Aug-19 13:47:32

Congratulations GMa2208 on the birth of your precious grandson flowers

GoodMama Sat 24-Aug-19 16:33:08

Try and think of it less as you becoming a grandma and more about your daughter becoming a mother.

That’s what is happening here and it might help you keep things in perspective.

She is your daughter and her wants and needs regarding her life, body and baby come before your excitement.

It’s good to be happy and excited. But I hope you are more excited for her than you are for yourself.

DanniRae Sat 24-Aug-19 17:09:00

Wind your neck in GoodMama. Of course grandparents can be delighted etc without not keeping things in perspective
I became a first time grandparent back in May and didn't for one moment think that anyone else was more important than my daughter, her partner and the baby but for goodness sake I was still really delighted for myself, for Mr R becoming a grandad, the new aunty (my other daughter) and new uncle (my son). There really is no limit on the amount of love that is around when a baby is born!

Luckygirl Sat 24-Aug-19 17:32:03

There's always one!! sad

I am glad to hear this news and I hope that all goes well for your DD.

I see no problem with telling people as and when your DD wishes - good to have the support of friends whatever the outcome.

GoodMama Sat 24-Aug-19 22:57:33

DanniRae, then it sounds like you have nothing to worry about and are able to manage yourself quite well. Good on you. The OP should follow your good example.

stella1949 Sat 24-Aug-19 23:49:15

So worries about miscarriage etc... when I had kids we didn’t worry about these things

You must be one of the lucky ones, OP. Plenty of us had multiple miscarriages back in the day. It's not a new thing.

You need to settle down and keep your daughter's secret until SHE is ready to tell the world. 12 weeks is the normal timeline, but be guided by her .