It sounds to me as if the son lives with her mother. They are leaving the UK soon and as OP has MS, they have to visit her to say goodbye, but can't, because of the daughter?
It also sounds to me like the daughter is a right madam rather controlling.....coming to visit, taking over and and ruling the roost. I'm afraid you need to put your foot down and show her who's boss.
Times article claim that Waspi women are tone deaf and should read the room


