screen addiction breaking my heart

When we have GS w I limit the time on screen - say 45 mins, give a 5 minute warning and then away it goes. He's ok with this. We then do something more interesting. I understand why parents allow it, as it keeps children quiet. But it must overall affect their communication abilities and concentration. You only have to look at parents who are in their phone while pushing a buggy. Saw one dad absorbed in his when his child was in a very high activity. Can't blame the children.

I’m afraid it is down to parents to limit screen time. My GD all have phones and tablets but usage at home is strictly controlled. My GD was here for the weekend and she used her phone for photos only. On Sunday afternoon she said ‘but I haven’t had any device time’ and I pointed out that she had simply been too busy working on a painting of a dragon.
We have to be consistent when dealing with tech - my husband often gets told off by the GC for being on his phone and the chorus of ‘it’s not device time’ can be heard.
I’m obviously lucky that even the 14 yr old GD still likes to bake with me. She’s going to do my nails next week!

Although there is proof that work on a touch screen improves hand eye coordination and also processing skills, we are NOT giving my grandson (1 1/2) any kind of tablet. He's still fascinated by them but NO.

Stave it off as long as we can.

I think screens are their 'default settings' so we have to override them with other little things to do like:

'We have to go out as the dog needs her walk. You can take turns with her lead.'

'We're going to the shop and you can choose lunch'

'I need to exercise (for my back) at the park'

'We're going to see my friend today'

'I have to take our books back to the library'

etc.

Once they are prised away from their screens it's fine until we're back home - then it's back to default!

DGS became addicted and he’s only five. His parents noticed that his character changed - and not for the better. So, he’s now banned from games and iPad during the week and only plays on it at weekends. He’s accepted this - now. But it took a fight and lots of tears. And he’s a much nicer person.

We have our DGS every Friday and all he wants is my iPad.
That’s fine, he plays Jurassic world and slither.io and other games that, if they were in a book and he was sitting at the table we would be happy he was doing.
I am quite strict and we also go on the trampoline and kick a ball about because it’s part of the deal. He would prefer to sit on the sofa but I win!
The other week I gave him a choice. He could have an hour of screen time but he could choose how it was split up. 4x15 mins, 2x30. He chose 6x10. It worked. I think he thought he was in charge. Maybe he was?

I've just watched a cartoon on FB which was heartbreaking about a little character ignored in crowds of people all glued to their various devices. It's a sad sign of the times unfortunately and I'm not sure how we will break the cycle as parents set the examples to their offspring.

Maybe you could set a rule that at Grandma's screen time is strictly limited to a specific period of time and then they're put away and normal play is resumed. It should probably be up to their parents to enforce though.

I agree with Namsnanny - it might seem logical to say " we shouldn't pussyfoot around the grandchildren". But at the end of the day they are not our children , they belong to their parents. And if the parents allow this, we're not in a position to lay down the law and stop the children from sticking to their devices.

My 10 yr old grandson is a Fortnite addict - I see him every morning and afternoon and he is either on his PC at home, or on his phone while in my car. He talks to other kids online , and I've no idea of what they are talking about.

I'm just glad when , on the odd occasion, he'll suddenly ask me what I think about something and we end up having a really good talk about space, or the weather, or who has the biggest army in the world, or whatever comes into his 10 year old brain. I'm just happy for those times.

We can't change the way our GC are being brought up - woe betide any grandparent who tries. If my parents had decided to go against my rules with the children I'd have been very upset - I'm never going to risk that as a grandmother.

Mebster….I feel sorry for children today. Have you talked to their parents?

If its something the parents arnt worried about you'll have difficulty applying different rules at your place.

5y old does seem a little too young though!

Gonegirl…^We pussyfoot around our grandchildren far too much^
Had to laugh at this......you clearly haven't spent much time on the estrangement threads have you?

Hello there, Mebster. I know just what you mean. My grandsons are 10 and 8 and addicted to Fortnite and other games.

What we tend to do is spend half an hour with a jigsaw we've been working on. Then a walk to the forest with the dog. Then we get to play on screens.

I have got quite addicted to Fortnite myself which they find hilarious so we get to play together. I decided to see what it was they were so obsessed about.

I think as long as they know screen time will be available during the visit then you can possibly manage to squash other activities in.

We baked the other day as well. I purchased some rice paper Fortnite cake decorations so we got to bake cookies.

I hope you manage to get some fun with them soon!

And don't be hurt when they say they want to go home. Just tell them they can't!

My youngest grandchild is 11, and everywhere he goes, his tablet goes as well, even to meals out with the family. I don`t understand why my son and his wife allow it.

I believe the answer is definitely the provision of activities away from the house. Mine love museums and cinema trips. Yes cinemas are screen-based but the interaction and the followup discussions are excellent.

It is primarily down to the parents to ration screen time, but you would be quite justified in doing so when they are with you. If they object and ask to go home, tell them they can't.

We pussyfoot around our grandchildren far too much.

Gosh Ethel thats a shame. Luckily, I have a pond we can walk to and sometimes we go feed the ducks. I dont know what it will be like as my grandchild gets older, but I very much feel for you and Mebster. Wonder if any other folks on this site can suggest ideas.

I meant darling granddaughter not dad. My Samsung tablet does not recognise some abrieviations

My dad is the same, if I try to take her screen off her she screams and shouts. I wanted to take her out yesterday as she was staying over and as her iPad has been removed she watched tv but it was the same screaming etc. It was such a golden day we could have gone to the park or just the garden. I don't know where it will end with our younger generation

Salsaqueen I do try to take my grandchild outside, but it can be difficult in inclement weather. Mebster, is there any chance they would even go to the library, cinema or kick around with a football?

My Granddaughters are the same age, and my son(their father) doesn't live with them, so has them every other weekend plus one evening in the week.

They play games on their tablets, but we go out to play centres (we did today because it was raining). We had a picnic yesterday as it was so warm and sunny, then went to the park and shops.

I think it is vital to do things away from the house. We went out for lunch today, and when the weather is decent we always get outside.

Sadly, I think its a sign of the times. I think even adults are addicted to screens. Not that this helps your situation. I really am at a loss what to suggest to you.