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Troubled Granddaughter

(6 Posts)
ElaJoh Wed 06-Nov-19 13:47:35

I write this with a very heavy heart and am at my wits end.
My GD was sexually abused at age 11 and only now 3 years later has the louse who did this to her been found guilty and sentenced to a miserable 6 year sentence.
She has not coped very well over the past three years but with counselling and lots of love has seemed to cope better this past 6 months. We thought the fact that he has been put away would help her to get some sort of closure, but it has actually made it worse.
A couple of years ago she had thoughts of us all being 'better off without her' which seemed to pass but these suicidal thoughts have now resurfaced with a vengeance and she is now in hospital in psychiatric care.
My heart is breaking but I don't know how to help her. It's doubly difficult as they live abroad.
What can I do. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

silverlining48 Wed 06-Nov-19 13:57:18

It’s possible that the recent court case has brought everything back to the forefront of her mind which is why she is so distressed. I hope the hospital treatment helps. It’s a long haul, is never forgotten and damage can be great but with time, patience and love she will learn to cope with her feelings.
I am so sorry, I know how hard this is. I wish her well.

Kathy1959 Wed 06-Nov-19 15:26:05

Awww, bless you all, I’m so sorry to hear such a dreadful thing. It really is just a case of time healing. I’ve never experienced anything like this, and can only imagine what it must be like. I don’t think there’s anything you can do especially, just be there when the family need you. Where abroad is it? Could you visit for a while to give support? It may just help them over this time your GD is in hospital. Are there any other children in the family. There may be ways you could help if you’re able to. I wish you all the best.

wildswan16 Wed 06-Nov-19 16:25:34

"What can you do"? Just keep on caring about her, keep in contact by short letters, postcards, or online. Send little gifts.

Don't ask her how she is, or how she feels - just let her know you are thinking about her.

I do hope she finds the help she needs and gets through this. The court case will undoubtedly have been hard for her to deal with.

Septimia Wed 06-Nov-19 16:38:21

I agree with wildswan. Letters, postcards, gifts etc so that she knows that you care and are thinking about her.

sodapop Wed 06-Nov-19 16:42:54

That is so hard for you Elajoh I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Wildswan is right, keep in touch,send messages, gifts etc so she knows you care. Maybe when she has recovered a little she could visit you to get away from everything.
I hope things work out well for all of you.