Long story short, my daughter had a baby at 16 but has never been a mum to my grandchild, now 2 1/2. She was in denial of the pregnancy, not telling anyone and I only found out when she was 8 months pregnant. In her head she thought she could give birth in secret, leave the baby somewhere and get on with life. The weeks before my grandchild was born I would not wish on anyone with the emotion and distress. My daughter temporarily came round and I went into the hospital with her and her boyfriend who was also young and the father and watched my grandchild come into the world. Almost immediately after coming out of hospital my daughter went back into a sort of denial that there was a baby and with the position I was in plus still in a state of shock basically said I'd do everything to help. So I went part time and became the mother figure in my grandchild's life. I've been there for her completely and she is my world. Her father has been an active part in her life and I can't fault him for the way he has stepped up. My grandchild dotes on him too and since day one almost she has had regular overnights which moved to almost 50/50 shared care earlier this year. He lives with his mum and she supports him when grandchild is at their's.
As time has gone on my own daughter's behaviour has become more and more difficult to deal with. She is so disrespectful, rude, self centred and selfish and shows very little interest in her child. It got so bad I had to put her out as could no longer take her abuse but this has left me in a hard financial situation. I'd already taken cuts with reducing to part time. I get an element of tax credits but this doesnt make up the wage I lost. In addition I've never asked for a penny help from grandchild's father as I'd rather he spent time with her. My daughter was giving me some dig money but now she is out I cannot get by.
Grandchild's dad has said he would like her full time so I arranged to go to work full time as looking at not keeping my house with further cuts and my granddaughter has gone to him with me going from seeing her almost every day to once or twice a week and I'm really struggling. His mum has taken over my role and my heart is breaking as she was like my own child. My house feels so quiet. I feel like I've given my own child away which is crazy as I will still be seeing her but more as a gran than a mum. I worry about her little head growing up rejected by her own mum and then the person she looked at as a mum letting her go. I know she is well loved by her dad and nana and their family but I feel like I'm grieving. I really hope we have done the right thing.
For the record in regards to my daughter I've done everything to get her help including mental health etc. But she doesnt go. She has also lost her job and I feel like she has her finger on a self destruct button. Feel on the edge of a breakdown constantly and like I've lost my daughter and granddaughter. I keep telling myself to get a grip but I'm just so emotional just now.
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