Looking after grandchildren getting too much.

DoraMarr gives very good advice. You explained yourself very well in your original post beautybumble. Do you think you could say or write what you have written here to your children or do you think doing so might make things worse if they get defensive and upset?

I agree with DoraMarr that you should try to find some activities to do occasionally during the week. You could start small by not being available on one or two occasions. I think that when we seem to be always available our children can be more inclined to take us for granted; to think 'well mum has nothing else to do with her time'. I really believe that when you are available only some of the time you are more appreciated. If your children have to make alternative arrangements for childcare now and then, with all the added cost and inconvenience this might entail, it will concentrate their minds and might make them show more appreciation. I'm sure they do appreciate you but you need to have that shown in tangible ways.

As a grandparent myself I have many gp friends who childcare and they sometimes confide how they are really feeling when they hesitate to tell their grown up children. Amongst my friends the 2 couples who do the childcare full time both say they sometimes feel taken for granted whereas the couple I know who do part time childcare seem to really enjoy it. If they have something they really want to do on a childcare day they give plenty of notice and go and do their thing. They say that their dc are really appreciative and they think it's because they have the comparison of gp childcare days and nursery ext with all the extra expense and no lee way about pick up times ext.

Good luck op. You sound a very caring gm but you do need down time for yourself as well. We are none of us getting younger

That's absolutely right DoraMarr.

Talk to your family beautybumble they need to realise how you feel.

You are suffering from invisible mum syndrome, I’m afraid. They have busy lives and are too occupied with their own affairs until they need your help. I think that, difficult though it may be, you should have a quiet conversation with each of your children and tell them how you are feeling. Then it would be good if you could have some activities during the week that you enjoy doing that get you out of the house. I have found U3A very welcoming and friendly, or you could explore groups or activities in your local area through your library. You sound like a lovely person and your love for your family is obvious, and I am sure they love you, but they are taking you for granted. They will probably be very surprised when you talk to them, and will not have realised how unhappy you are. And yes, it IS hard looking after children when you do not have a husband or partner to share the chores.

Well, I have the kind of relationship with my two sons that I could just say 'how about I come to you for a change?' It would be lovely to get out the house!" And if I had my grandchildren as often as you have yours, I would certainly say that sometimes it gets a bit too much and you would love some help and to be waited-on occasionally.

That sounds a tad unfair. Please please take time to look after you...they might just find themselves in the very same position one day.

Sounds like you need a bit of a family council! Let your kids know how you are feeling; both physically and mentally. Let them know you have to limit the amount of help for your own health, and enjoyment of the grandkids.

While it's nice to be able to help, they know they can always rely on you and don't make much effort for other arrangements. Collectively it can really add up.

Don't feel bad for your rant... we are all grandparents here and can offer ideas, or just an ear.

I know my hubby and I were feeling a bit ragged yesterday after having 2 Gkids for a few hours, plus watching the new puppy of another son while he was working! And there were two of us, so you must be very tired. Please look after yourself.

It sounds miserable ? sometimes one feels more lonely when surrounded by people that when actually alone. None of that sounds like quality time x