Husband not welcome at family events

It is not for your ex husband or your son either, to say who is welcome in the church.

It seems very vindictive behaviour, particularly at a christening which is all about a new life. You must go, and your husband can attend the christening service as part of the church congregation, even if he is not with the family party. You missed out on your sons' weddings; your husband has to take his turn if he persists in this spiteful vendetta.

That does seem an awfully long time to bear a grudge. I wonder why things are so difficult between your family and current husband.
It's a great shame you are missing these family events could there not be some compromise along the line.?

Regardless of the historic details of the situation, children and grandchildren should not be made to suffer. They usually want both parents present at such events and hard though it maybe, parents, step parents, ex's or whoever should make the effort to accept and be civil.

I presume you would be able to attend the christening without your present husband.

Your family are being mean and your ex certainly knows how to hold a grudge. No wonder you are not married to the sour beggar now.
I am sorry you were unable to attend your sons' weddings. That seems cruel of your family to have deprived you of the joy of the occasion. I hope there is some resolution to this situation, but I'm sad for you for how much you have had to give up because you remarried 20 years ago and they've not accepted it yet.

This is such a shame but understandable I suppose. It probably is about loyalty, but I feel your sons have taken sides, so there’s no allowances made for you. Was it a particularly acrimonious divorce? Have apologies ever been made? God is featuring in the Christening. Could He not feature elsewhere as well? I would say your loyalties should be with your husband first, but he may not be bothered about the Christening, so wouldn’t want to go anyway. All the best in your decision making.

We don't know the history between these two, but I'm shocked that you felt unable to attend your sons' weddings. I'd be inclined to ask your present husband if he minds you going to the christening on your own. You certainly shouldn't be missing this event, but you will do if you and your husband won't compromise and allow for the underlying issues which divide them.

You might concede to your son's wishes. Those may be based on loyalty, which actually I do commend. Or they may be based on personal abhorrence .Either way, your present husband persona non grata as he is married you not your relatives.

Why do your sons accede to there father's request that your DH be banned. Did they side with him over the divorce and are there still issues between you, your husband and your sons.

I meant 20 years ago!