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Grandparenting

Second grandchild too soon after first one ?

(20 Posts)
Notjustaprettyface Sat 15-Feb-20 18:43:21

My daughter had a baby boy last July , my first grandchild . I have really enjoyed the baby and have seen plenty of him and I think we have already developed a good rapport if that is the correct word
Today , my daughter has announced that she is expecting another baby for September and I feel slightly guilty as I don’t feel as ecstatic as maybe I should be .
I worry about whether I will be able to continue developing my relationship with my first grandchild as I would then be favouring him I suppose and not care so much about the second baby ?
I had already thought about this before today , i.e can you love all your grandchildren as much or does the first one retain a special place ?
Any tips from any of you grans out there would be much appreciated
Thank you

GrannyLaine Sat 15-Feb-20 18:50:15

Notjustaprettyface isn't it just like when you have your second child? You worry no end through your pregnancy that you couldn't possibly love another baby like your firstborn. And then the baby arrives and you find that you can! My relationships are slightly different with all my grandchildren but I love them all dearly.

MiniMoon Sat 15-Feb-20 18:52:31

My daughter has four children. They are now 13, 11, 9 and 7. The eldest is a girl, the rest all boys. I love them all the same, as they are all individuals and all have their own little charms and idiosyncrasies.
I don't think you need to worry about developing relationships with your grandchildren it just happens. Relax and don't over think things. All will be well.

Tangerine Sat 15-Feb-20 18:52:37

I think you will love the second grandchild just as much as soon as you see him/her.

My children are close together and mostly played well together. They are friends now as adults.

I hope this is how it works out for your grandchildren.

Calendargirl Sat 15-Feb-20 18:57:43

When I was expecting my second child, I felt I could never love another one the way I loved my first.
How daft I was to think that, of course I did, love expands round them all.
It will be the same with your grandchildren.

M0nica Sat 15-Feb-20 19:11:02

As I tell both my grandchildren, you are my favourite grand child. When they protest that cannot both be my favourite grandchild. I just tell them that it is perfectly possible.

tanith Sat 15-Feb-20 19:11:19

I love everyone of my 9 GC and my 5 GGC your heart will expand to accommodate your new GC you can be sure. Each one will have a special place in your heart.

sodapop Sat 15-Feb-20 20:43:00

Tanith is right, don't worry each grandchild will be special to you.

Anniebach Sat 15-Feb-20 20:52:58

I was really worried I couldn’t love my second child as I loved
my first child, when she was born I fell in love again

Yennifer Sat 15-Feb-20 21:01:04

We don't have a set amount of love to go around, we have the capacity to grow it like flowers. More seeds, more flowers x

Callistemon Sat 15-Feb-20 21:04:09

Like Anniebach, I worried that I would never be able to love my second child as much as I loved the first one.

Then someone very wise told me that "each child brings their own love with them".

And of course I did, and the next one too.
And all the grandchildren.
Each is different and each brought their own bundle of love.

It will be lovely, such small gap will mean they will be playmates and hopefully friends for life.

Callistemon Sat 15-Feb-20 21:05:38

And as Calendargirl said - and all the wise posters on here.

Grammaretto Sat 15-Feb-20 21:36:25

I actually cried when I found I was pregnant again, rather soon, and my baby was only a year old. He was so lovely, a complete delight. How could another one have our undivided attention.

The answer is he couldn't but he was equally lovable and such a different personality.

As for the DGC. I am certainly closer to the ones I have most to do with, but I love them all and am very proud of them.
It will be just fine. You'll see,
Congratulations.

SueDonim Sat 15-Feb-20 21:37:32

I agree with others. Love is infinite, you’ll always have plenty to go round. ❤️

Urmstongran Sat 15-Feb-20 22:31:33

A grandchild fills a space in your heart you didn’t know was empty.

Eloethan Sat 15-Feb-20 23:43:05

My son and his partner have two children born very close together. It does present some issues - there seems to be a lot more rivalry, and the younger one naturally was less advanced than the older one and that affected his confidence. Touch wood, those issues seem to be less prevalent now.

As to whether it's possible to love each grandchild the same or whether it's probable that you will secretly have one that you favour, I suppose there is no hard and fast answer for everyone. For me, I love both my grandchildren the same.

Buffybee Sun 16-Feb-20 00:07:54

I have identical twin Granddaughters, I love them both just as much.
People have sometimes surprised me by asking if there is a favourite, I tell them, they are both my favourites!!!!
Then came along Grandson and he’s joined my favourites as well. smile

agnurse Sun 16-Feb-20 00:34:42

My GM has 43 GC (you read that correctly; she and my GF had 10 children). Grandma never indicated that she thought there were too many. She was always thrilled to see all of them and often stayed with the families when the new babies were born, to help the mothers and families. Sadly, Grandma now has Alzheimer's disease and lives in a care facility. It's unlikely she would recognize most of her GC now as her disease is progressing.

Starlady Sun 16-Feb-20 01:48:25

Congratulations on your growing family, Notjustaprettyface! And, no worries, it never gets old.

If you do find yourself favoring one over the other, you may not be able to help that feeling. But as long as you don't show any favoritism/treat both GC the same, IMO, it will all be ok.

Agnurse, so sorry about your GM's Alzheimer's and how far it has progressed. Sounds like she was a delightful lady!

Franbern Mon 17-Feb-20 09:06:22

My second child was born (full term) just eleven months after my eldest. At school, for one month each year they were the 'same age). Fortunately, they were in different school year. Two years later along (planned) came No. 3.
When a couple of years later I told my parents I was expecting twins my lovely Mum actually said 'Oh , I am so sorry sorry, darling'. One of my neightbours (with just one child) came over so bad at the news that I had to help her to sit down!!
So, five children born less than 5 1/2 years apart. Family completed when a long-term foster baby arrive, giving us six chldren with just over seven years between them all.
It was wonderful - life was tough in other ways - particularly financially and then healthwise - but never for one second regretted my lovely large close-in-age family.
And now they are in the late 40's and early 50's they are all so very close.
As has been said, there is no rationing of love - it comes along with each baby as they arrive.