Feel it is so sad

Helenlouise3 I had an eight year old boy at my house during a teacher training day recently. No technology for the children here!
After an hour he was bored and wished he was at home so he could play on his Xbox.
I stuck it out, showed him the different toys and games I had available, and in the end he said he didn't know what to play with next as I had so much stuff. He surprised himself!

Lizbethann, I totally agree with everything you say, it really is a sad sign of the times.

Why do you think the people who invented this stuff ban their kids from using it. Nannies and home must be tech free.

esspee I had a similar experience with one of my GS’s when he was about two. He got hold of a phone and he almost immediately turned into a zombie! He was impervious to my voice, showing no signs of having heard me, he was barely blinking as he stared at the screen and his body became absolutely rigid and still.

I found it quite terrifying and took the phone off him straightaway. He then reverted to his normal active self. Luckily, he doesn’t have much access to screens although he does ask occasionally to look at photos. That seems harmless but I’ve observed that even then, he doesn’t actually look at the photos, he’s just swiping constantly to the next one.

I’d also issue a warning to anyone with a pass code on their phone or iPad. The same GS made so many attempts to access his dad’s unguarded IPad that it locked itself down for three months! My son wasn’t best pleased about that and has been more careful about storing his tech since then!

Working in a school we see the effects of this on a daily basis. Technology is a wonderful think and used properly, it can only enhance a child's experiences. However it is often used as a substitute for a parent/guardian's time. We have children starting school who cannot peak, older children wanting to be "You tubers"/"Gamers" when they're adults. Given free time, thy're bored immediately as they cannot amuse themselves. Language work suffers, as their imagination isn't as it should be. Unfortunately these things are happening more and more.

I agree its gone too far. I visited a neighbour recently she showed me a video of her Grandchild who will soon be two years old, this child had her Mums mobile and was pressing keys pretending to talk making odd noises completely ridiculous how such young children catch on to this habit of being on the phone all the time for this child it is quite normal to see Mummy on the phone and children learn quickly. Its such a shame.

I have a plan in place if GS's come over. The first 20 minutes they can use their screens. The next 20 minutes they teach me how to do something on their screens....it can be fun. After that, the screens are put away for the rest of the visit. This is usually met with some complaints, but they don't resist too much. I usually find a brief moment to tell them about life when I was a kid. More rolled eyes, but giggles too. Try meeting them in the middle.

Had enjoyable hour at Book Bug in library with 22 month old DGS2 followed by helping him choose his new books, scan them - he can do it himself, then chase him round and round the bookshelves - everyone was laughing! Then Papa had to read them to him and DGD "gain" "gain" "gain"!
Libraries in Lothian seem to be well used as go to a different one with DGD and lots going on.
I do see some young people not interacting with their children and on their phone but if it is controlled technology can open up lots of opportunities for people. My mother is fiercly against it and indignant that she feels "not part of this world " but relatives older than her have gained a huge amount from use of messaging, internet, Skype, FaceTime which she has missed out on by dismissing it and moaning about it constantly.

Curvygran

I should have put on my post that I didn't see much of my youngest DGD but the times we did meet up were very special.

I do understand how you feel because I spent most of the last 15 years pining to see my DGC But you don't need lots of time with them to bond though i do envy GP's that get lots of contact.
Honestly there was one time i didn't see her (the youngest) for almost 3 years so please do not think you need to have to have lots of meet up for the bonding.
I used to send her parcels and cards and I think that actually helped.

I had most contact with the eldest and the middle one. The middle one and I do not really get along...so it is not always a case of more contact makes for a better relationship.

And I never had any Face time as my DD is a technophobe

I am sure that when they come over with for a visit or you go there you will make sure you have a good time together.

My youngest grandchild is now nearly 12. I looked after him daily from 9 months until he started school at just turned 4. We played all sorts, and read books, but as soon as he was in the charge of his parents he was encouraged to play on a tablet every spare minute, just so that they didn`t have to play with him or chat to him. He was such a lovely, lively little boy, but now he`s so unsociable and difficult to converse with, he`s become a most unpopular child within the rest of our family, which is such a shame.

It is sad to see gadgets being used by children on what used to be regarded as social occasion. Of course they are useful at times to help quieten or pacify a young child. Have seen only on last week 2 children in pushchairs with phones watching kiddies programmes. One child was with two females who were busy chatting to each other whilst walking. So sad. Only yesterday when out for a quick walk commented to DH when noticing someone out with their dog that the phone was having a nice outing. Female meandering along using phone with dog prodding along behind. People don't speak to pets now either!

Shysal I sympathise about strange looks on buses. I remember swinging around and announcing excitedly, “Look! A fire-engine!” to a bemused young man on a rare trip out without the children.
I often see children being ignored by family members with their noses in their phones. It makes me sad.
My 3-year-old GD gets lots of attention from me, when I visit. However, after hours of, “You be the baby, and I’ll be the Mummy,” and being marched around the house, under orders, I grab a small respite by getting out the iPad.
She loves the Winnie the Pooh cartoons, and YouTube videos of ‘funny animals’ behaving badly, but I chat with her about what she is watching, and never ignore her. She also gets lots of interaction from her parents, and her development has benefitted a lot, as a result.

Shysal I remember once waxing lyrical about a big red tractor that was driving along the road outside my DC’s school. Then I realised that the person I was talking to was actually my little Cavalier King Charles spaniel, who hitherto had shown no interest in different types of vehicle.

I was in the supermarket this afternoon and a mum had a toddler in her trolley. The two of them were chattering their way round the shop and it was so sweet to hear.

Of course verbal communication hasn't died. Children and parents still talk to one another all the time - often more than in the past when dad was at work and mum was busy all day with housework and lots of siblings.

At one time children were expected to be 'seen and not heard', and you still see and hear older people complaining when they make a noise in restaurants etc.

Finding them something to do when they are out, so that they are entertained, instead of either bored and frustrated or annoying other diners seems to me sensible and unselfish, not neglectful.

I think that parents have enough pressures these days without being judged and found wanting by strangers who have no idea what goes on when they are not there.

My pushchair (late 1950s) faced my mum - history relates i spent the whole time in it on my knees facing forward.
Fast forward- last year I went for coffee in Lakeland Plastics, Windermere; at the next table parents and young child (8/9yrs) - parents sat on their respective phones and child on iPad, not a word passed between any of them. Has verbal communication died?

'If that time is never shared I don't suppose the bond can be there'.

pink quartz, that statement gave me such a pang of sadness [for myself] and I don't believe it to always be true.
Many of us on GN have grandchildren overseas and would hate to think that just because we don't spend much time with them, a loving bond can't exist.
Technology is an absolute essential for me; by using FaceTime and other media I am able to see and talk to my DGD, who is then able and allowed to see and talk to me as often as is possible. She is only 2 and lives in Australia but she knows who I am and thankfully recognises me.

Granachist I too had a (second hand) silver cross pram. Do you remember the seats that used to go across the front of the pram you could attach for an older child? Mine was a hideous mud brown.

I did EXACTLY the same thing as you shysal passing a field of cows. Other passengers probably thought I was certifiable.

I'm shocked but not surprised. I don't let mine have devices and still chat away to them and talk, so not all parents are like this. We read books, talk about nature and well all sorts, we do art together, games like eye spy, board games etc.
Let's hope it was just a small snap shot of their day and those children do spend time interacting with adults properly. X

There is another way of viewing things. My own mother would chat, chat, chat away incessantly (never anything interesting) and I'd pretend to listen. I'd blank her out and resist a headache, wishing she'd just shut up. I try to have my nose in a book.

My father was very quiet and rarely spoke - yet we enjoyed each other's company and reading together (if separately). When he did say something, I'd hear him loud and clear!

Children need our company and find it sad if we cannot give them this while they are young
They soon grow up then no doubt it will be boo hoo why aren't my children /grandchildren spending more time with me.

Lot of judging going on here, sadly. As someone said, we can't know the bigger picture. And I love the child in the library getting absorbed in her own choice of books. Sometimes children just like a bit of peace without having adults wanting to join in with their thoughts.

I'm not sure where the heading about electronics came from. It wasn't me. I was more focused on how sad it was that these two grandparents were not interacting with their grandchildren at all. The grandad had picked the little girl up from school and was obviously killing time till the child's parent got home. I don't like the thought of "conspicuous parenting". It smacks too much of "look at me. See what a great grandparent I am". Rather than just interacting with the child. Grandchildren are so precious and the years when they truly want to be with us are so few. It seems so sad not to revel in them. I am so sorry that someone thought my opinion was arrogant. I certainly didn't want to sound that way.

I think electronic item are good for a while perhaps after a meal to keep child sitting for a few minutes. But not in restaurants we always took paper and pencils to keep children amused. I've seen them on buses with phones keeping them amused. We used to have books for the children to look at. Think it's a sign of the times every where you go everyone's looking at phones.

I’m with Tillybelle and others who think that a child really doesn’t need or want constant attention from someone intent on showing what a good mother/father/grandparent they are by their conspicuous parenting. Sometimes a child needs a bit of peace to think, a chance to be bored (where else does creativity and imagination come from?) and time to wind down. There’s a time for everything and perhaps the girl in the library and the boy on the train had had busy days and were as ready for some down time as the adults with them. It’s easy to judge, but perhaps we shouldn’t.