Gransnet forums


New grandaughter and not been able to see her

(7 Posts)
Joaylmer Fri 01-May-20 17:33:51

My first grandchild was born three weeks ago and I obviously have not been able to see her. My daughter has been isolating for three plus weeks before she had the baby as she has a chronic illness, so has now been isolating for nearly 7 weeks. She has a husband who is supportive but i feel she is really struggling. The baby is very unsettled and sleeps very little and I feel I cant help. I am worried about my daughter and my and my husbands bond with our new grandchild.This is such a strange time for all of us.

Missfoodlove Fri 01-May-20 17:46:38

There is plenty of time for yourself and husband to bond.

The focus must be on your daughter, partner and grandchild.

If the baby isn’t feeding well there are helplines or you can pay privately for a video consultation with a breast feeding specialist.

It’s always hard with a newborn, I’m sure everything will settle down.

Seizetheafternoon Fri 01-May-20 17:52:15

Congratulations on your new new granddaughter. It’s such a helpless feeling to know your daughter needs some help and support and to be unable to give it. Extra hard when you must be desperate to meet your new little grandchild.

Thank goodness is supportive. That’s comforting for you to know I imagine. I guess all you can do is be there over the phone, zoom or face time or whatever. It’s nowhere near enough but it’s something.

I wouldn’t worry about your bond with the baby. I’m sure the minute you get to meet her in person you will feel a connection and fall in love. It’s quite another matter knowing that your DD is struggling though and how frustrating it is not to go to her and be a practical and moral support.

I don’t have new grandchildren but my DD also has a chronic condition and is shielding. She is exhausted and the DC have cabin fever and their listening skills seem to have disappeared without trace. I’m used to getting on a train and spending a week or two looking after them so DD can rest up more and am also feeling so helpless and worried about her. It is such a strange and hard situation. I hope it won’t be too long until restrictions are lifted enough to be able to see your DD and meet the little one.

Seizetheafternoon Fri 01-May-20 17:52:54

Thank goodness your SIL is supportive that should read.

ceejayjay Sat 02-May-20 23:25:05


i know just how your feeling. I too had my first Grandchild on 1st April.

My Daughter had problems throughout her pregnancy & got sepsis when he was born. He only has one kidney and also needed a lumbar puncture when he was born as suspected meningitis. She went though all this alone as her partner only allowed to the birth itself (2 hours out of the whole labour). Baby cries a lot, has not had his kidney scanned at birth as it should of been and he won’t get a referral to paediatrician as they arnt taking new referrals. Probably only needs some Gaviscon but no one can say if it’s safe for him as we don’t know how his kidney function is. Gp useless and just advises her to water down his feeds. She is exhausted as her partner working long hours to fulfil contract. She just needs some practical support which we cannot give .....

Luckygirl Sat 02-May-20 23:35:32

Poor lass - first baby is hard enough without all that and lockdown too. You must be dying to get there and help. What a dreadful time you are having. I am so sorry.

Hetty58 Sat 02-May-20 23:42:42

A lot of newborns are unsettled, aren't they? Only one of my four was a good sleeper in the early months.

In our western society, mums are expected to do so much, far too much, too soon, I think. In other cultures, it's expected that new mothers just rest and breastfeed through the early weeks: