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Grandparenting

lonley teens

(15 Posts)
mommarann Mon 18-May-20 14:44:12

I h a v e t w i n g r a n d d a u g h t e r s a g e d 1 5 y e a r s , t h e y h a v e n o f r i e n d s ,
t h e y h a v e b e e n b u l l i e d a n d l e f t o u t o f t h i n g s m o s t o f t h e r e
s c h o o l l ife
t h e y a r e v e r y l o n e l y ( i t i s b r e a k i n g m y h e a r t ) h a v i n g t o w a t c h i t
h a p p e n a n d n o t b e a b l e t o h e l p t h e m t h e y t r y v e r y h a r d t o
b e l i k e d ,
t h e r e are c e r t a i n g i r l s t h e y t a l k t o b u t t h e r e is a c e r t a i n g i r l
t h a t s e e m s t o b e t h e o n e w h o t h i n k s s h e o w n s e v e r y b o d y ,
T h e y w o u l d b e t a l k i n g t o s o m e o f t h e o t h e r g i r l s t h e n s h e w o u l d
j o i n i n a n d i n f r o n t o f m y g r a n d d a u g h t e r s w o u l d i n v i t e a l l o f t h e m t o g o t o h e r h o u s e o r t o s o m e o t h e r a c t i v i t y a n d b l a t e n t l y n o t
i n v i t e m y g / d / s W h i c h I f i n d v e r y sad
S o s i n c e t h e l o c k d o w n t h e y h a v e b e e n o n t h e i r o w n n o o n e t o
t a l k t o n o s o c i a l n e t w o r k i n g

I w a s w o n d e r i n g i f t h e r e w a s a n y t h i n g anyone c o u l d r e c o m m e n d m a y b e
o n l i n e g r o u p s T h e y c o u l d t r y ,

Buffybee Mon 18-May-20 15:22:08

It took me a while to read your post but I understand how upsetting it must be for you, having your twin Granddaughters bullied and not any friends.
One good thing is, they have each other, which is a massive plus.
Do they have access to Gaming? As that it what most teens are doing online.
Otherwise, they could do sports together, running, Tennis or do gym classes online. Cooking, making bread, cakes etc. Dancing in their room together. Lots twins can do together! They really don’t need other people so much.
The good thing is that in another year they will hopefully be at 6th Form College, where they can make a fresh start.
Tell them to stop trying to force people to like them and for now, be their own team.

BlueBelle Mon 18-May-20 16:35:21

I m so sorry but I can’t read that why is it like that ?

mommarann Mon 18-May-20 17:51:17

Buffybee thankyou for your comment x

I don`t no what happened to my post it looked ok when I was typing it .

Fennel Mon 18-May-20 18:38:41

mommarann - I think late teenagers are the age group suffering most from this virus. Their social life depends so much on contact with their peers.
2 of our granchildren aged 16 and 18 are having a very difficult time. Don't want to go into detail but each feels that their lives has been stopped short. Just going to take crucial exams, looking forward to the future, as well as girlfriends and boyfriends.
Then it's all stopped, and they're still very young with no skills to cope.
I'm worried too, and hope others can give some reassurance.

60no Mon 18-May-20 19:02:17

They have each other so hard for you. Hard for all teens especially but having to go through that as well. X

Buffybee Mon 18-May-20 19:02:49

You’re right Fennel, people tend to forget how difficult this virus has made the lives of teenagers and all young people.
If it’s difficult for us older ones to stay in, how much more difficult for teens, at the start of their exciting lives....... and then...... full stop.
It must be so hard for them!

J52 Mon 18-May-20 19:05:15

It sounds as if your in the US? If you’re in the UK then the girls school will have an anti bullying policy which the named teacher responsible should put into action. Also, there should be a year head who overseas the welfare of all pupils.I realise this is not possible ATM.
Your granddaughters need their confidence boosting, when lockdown ends, perhaps they could join a dance, sport or drama group that is independent of the school, and so avoid the girls who are so unpleasant.
Trying to break into that social group is unproductive and will not change anything.
Perhaps you could do some reading around confidence building for teens. It’s always a difficult age. But you sound like a lovely concerned Gran.

Doodle Mon 18-May-20 19:29:00

J52 nice in theory but in practice from personal experience I have found that bullying carries on. “Ignore it” , “Don’t rise to it”, “They only pick on you because you react”. Schools all say they have an anti bullying code but they do nothing. They don’t realise how bullying ruins lives. At least your DGDs have each other momm many have no one. Try and get them into some clubs or activities outside of school. Good luck

J52 Mon 18-May-20 19:51:40

Sorry that was your experience Doodle. The school obviously had seriously fallen short of their duty.
For years, it was my brief, as Assistant Principal, to ensure that no student suffered from bullying, covert or explicit.
Not enough time/ space on here to explain all the procedures.

MawB Mon 18-May-20 20:50:26

I can’t follow OP at all
Any chance this could be rewritten legibly please?

Doodle Mon 18-May-20 22:29:27

j52 I suppose all schools are different and at the end of the day if they get a bunch of kids going there that they can’t control it gets a bit tough on the others.

Buffybee Mon 18-May-20 22:39:19

MawB, it’s like doing one of these Brain Workouts but I persevered by actually running my finger along the text.
My Brain did hurt by the end though, so not recommended 😂

Lilypops Mon 18-May-20 22:47:05

My twin daughters were bullied for a while at senior school , I took the bully in hand and told her if she ever came near my daughters again I would personally “ bully” her, she never did it again,but it seemed she and others were jealous of my girls, their closeness, their secure home life which she didn’t have coming from a broken home,

Sussexborn Tue 19-May-20 02:20:54

One of the Practice Nurses I worked with had twins and she said they couldn’t stand each other. They were like chalk and cheese apparently.

My friend’s daughter was picked on unmercifully and it was made worse when her best friend from infants/juniors joined the bullies. The main bully decided to send Katy to Coventry and the others joined in which brought things to an even lower ebb.

Against DD wishes Mum went into the school and eventually. It was sorted. The bully was invited to tea which went well and her old friend started calling for her to walk to school once more so after a horrendous two terms it settled down.