Situation forcing rules to be broken

@Gusgtheguidedog was offensive deliberately so best ignored I think. Probably has problems of a different kind and therefore unable to understand on any level what my post was about. Sad really. Thanks Maw and Chewbacca for the defence though. And to everyone for sharing their views. It's been very helpful! First time I've posted something so close to my heart.

Toddy, as your daughter is an essential worker from mid June, isn’t there provision for day care set up? In Scotland, there is more time to get organised as children won’t be expected in until August except for some provision for those who are transitioning from nursery to primary and from primary to secondary.

If I was in your position, I’d feel I had to step in but it’s a risk. Take care.

I have already made up my mind that if my daughter (a single mum) has to go back to work (which apparently is unlikely), then I will look after her small son who has Down Syndrome. I am 76 with lung problems DH has Asthma and will soon be 80. My concern is slightly different from yours, Toddy, but I do want them to be happy and safe. I've no idea whether I will survive the pandemic or not, I hope so because i have a heck of a lot of living to do yet!!

Well I have made my decision . My DD is being forced back into work from next week . Private sector. She can take “extraordinary parental leave” but with no pay ( brilliant eh?) they have refused furlough as they say her job is waiting for her . So I will resume looking after my 2 year old granddaughter . Not being forced into it by my DD . My decision .

My DD is not a key worker but her small wage is absolutely essential .

gillybob you've not taken your decision lightly and have given it a great deal of soul searching. Personally, in your situation, I'd do exactly the same as you and, I suspect, so would many others who are in your position. I hope all goes well for you and your DD.

Oopsadaisy I agree that grandparents looking after grandchildren whilst their parents are at work needs acknowledgement and some consideration and guidance from the government in the current lock down. However I totally disagree about grandparents not doing this role. I absolutely adore caring for my grandson. My husband and I have had great fun looking after him twice a week whilst his mum is at work and taking him out on lots of day trips and going swimming etc. It's been a wonderful experience and we have a great relationship with him. I ve done a children and adults cookery course, an art club and a grandparents play and stay club with him. At all I've got as much out of the experience as him, socially, emotionally and intellectually. He is due to start school on September and I feel totally robbed of my last few months of freedom to do things with him because of this lock down.

I understand that decision gilly as I seem to remember that you are a young grandparent and so less at risk,

Thank you for understanding chewy

I think my DD is lucky to have a job to go back to , many won’t be so fortunate .

These are the worst of times .

Same here @gillybob. Our DD, single parent, cannot be furloughed as started new job February end, is not a key worker. Staying at home means nil pay and quite possibly redundancy

The government have made it clear on 1st June by bringing in a new law saying relatives cannot provide childcare during the lockdown. I don't know how they will police it or what the punishment will be!!

I personally can't wait to start looking after my Grandchildren again.

Yes, some days it's been hard work but to me it's never been a chore or an imposition. I love being such a huge part of their lives.

I haven't been needed during lockdown as DIL has been on maternity leave but is due back at work next month as a key worker.

Grandson is now three and a half and will be starting nursery in a few weeks, but only half days at first (on the days his parents both work), Granddaughter is 6 months old.

I looked after Grandson three days a week from the age of 6 months with regular 'sleepovers' too and will be doing the same now with his sister.

My Son has had to return to work and so I'll be looking after the children as 'normal' from next month.

I live on my own so will not be putting anyone at home at risk, I'm not going shopping or anywhere else there are groups of people so the chance of me bringing the virus into Son's home is minimal.

I'm lucky to live in the countryside so can take the children and dog out for walks in the forest without meeting anyone else.

I also have a ten year old Grandson who is studying at home, luckily his Father is able to work from home.

Writing this down has made me feel so much better about the situation.......

My daughter worked from home with two under five year olds. She and her husband both key workers (not NHS) A month in, she agreed to furlough. Three weeks ago she was asked if she could return to work to avoid agency staff and possible redundancies. She feared being in the redundancy group so returned. School they think, returns next week and nursery has opened. Then we have the six week holidays round the corner still with none of the usual support from grandparents. Its really tough. We don't know whether there will be the usual out of school clubs. It's hugely stressful for parents, all the practicalities alongside the worry about the virus itself.

MawB as childminders we have been asked to provide care in our own homes for keyworkers' children since the lockdown started.

At the end of May, if we didn't have any keyworkers' children attending, we could look after children from just one other family.

From the start of June we have been asked to welcome all children back.

We have to submit a weekly survey to the Local Authority giving details about our available spaces.
This is used to match up with families whose regular childcare isn't available.

We have lengthy Department for Education guidance documents to comply with.
These are revised at least weekly and often more frequently.
Within the guidance most of the terminology used is "should" and "wherever possible," not "must."
So to a certain extent we can use our common sense and work in a way that suits us and our minded children's families.

I'm 63, no health concerns, a granny and have been working throughout (though not looking after my granddaughter as she lives away).
I think it's ridiculous and most unhelpful to state that anyone in a similar situation cannot look after their grandchildren purely because they are related and I really do sympathise with you all.

Incidentally Dominic Cummings was planning to use his niece for childcare, as her youth meant she was less vulnerable.
I notice that she would still be allowed to do so according to the list of relatives in the new ruling, as she is his child's cousin.

No one is allowed to look after children who do not live with them. Unless you do it in the garden and don't go within 2 metres of them! I see Boris Johnson was asked this yesterday and he didn't know the answer. The whole thing is a shambles.

We found ourselves in the situation of having no choice but take on the care of our foster granddaughter last week after the situation at home got too dangerous for her to remain at
home due to threats from her mothers neighbours .
I was surprised how guilty I felt about having her here and “ breaking the rules “ .
We are the emergency plan in normal times and she and other grandchildren spend a lot of time with us anyway but the extra stress of coping with her mothers mental health has been so much harder for her without the respite we provide .
We are carers for another adult foster daughter with learning disabilities so have been very carefully sticking to the rules for her sake .
Sometimes we just have to do what seems right and hope for the best .

Hi there. I too have been in this situation as our 18 month old grandaughter has parents who are both essential workers and we have cared for toots since her mum went back to work 6 months ago. So when all this happened we explored all the options and the childminder who was nearest was still 8 miles away and wasn't taking new children. The nurseries only taking 2 years and up so we had to take decision to continue caring for her as other options not available. Fortunately the parents did manage to juggle their shifts so they are still primary carers and we have her 2 morns a week. It was a dilemma as i am 58 with asthma and husband has diabetes. However, due to the fact toots only been in our care she not exposed to others and the parents do not collect her until they have been home, showered, changed which helps minimise risk. You can only do what you can to keep all safe and even then, well... hope this helps and good luck. So tricky .

My AC is very worried about whether job will continue and/or whether the company will allow a change of hours so OH can look after children instead of DGC coming to us. OH is a key worker and they have one 3 year old child in nursery part-time and the other is a just a baby. They are very reluctant to put baby in nursery too due to studies about the adverse effect of nurseries on children under three. Also, where are all these spare places supposed to come from? There are 2 nurseries locally, one LEA, one private, how are they supposed to magic up more places and stay within safety guidelines? The private one already struggles financially. Ironically DGC's nursery already relies heavily on retired staff coming back to provide cover - they can do that but, according to this legislation, we can't provide care for our own DGC! New rules have been rushed through with no commonsense applied in my opinion.

Childminders, nurseries are all returning to normal as far as I have read yesterday in the media. They are though expected to give places to children of key workers. There will be a shortage of places and some key workers may not afford to pay for external childcare eg shop workers, delivery drivers.

Toddy I'm sure if I was in your position I would have to help out it is so stressful for parents trying to keep their jobs and grandparents trying to stay well. I'm not sure the opening of schools and nurseries will happen as quickly as hoped so you may find your daughter is home a little longer. I thought Chris Whitty looked as though he would like to have spoken his mind yesterday when BJ was floundering around with this question.

I don’t think you should be forced into helping out if you are not comfortable with the situation. However, if you are able and willing, I don’t think you would be breaking any rules. Childminders and nannies have been given permission to return to work. I can’t see why paid-for childcare should be allowed, but unpaid grandparenting not allowed (if you are fit and well). I normally do two days per week childcare for two-year-old granddaughter, three days she’s in nursery. This week nursery reopened but daughter doesn’t want her to go back, and I’m not happy either (for her health and mine). So I am looking after her four days a week for the time being - big commitment, but such a relief after not having her for two months! Good luck with making your own difficult choice.

A couple of things that might help if people are having to pay for childcare when it's usually free:

Some two year olds and all three year olds are entitled to 15 hours Early Education Funding a week, during term time, with a registered provider.
If parents work over a certain number of hours a week they can claim 30 funded hours a week.
You can also have fewer hours a week but over more weeks, ie a "stretched" place.

Parents can also claim tax relief on childcare payments to a registered provider through the Tax Free Childcare scheme.

Details of these two schemes can be found on www.childcarechoices.gov.uk

I did look after my gc who is 2 every Monday and Tuesday, and was very happy to do so. When my daughter and son in law return to work in a few weeks, I will gladly pick up the reins again. Nursery is £55 a day and he only goes one day a week. I am widowed and look forward to his company. I am fit and healthy at 66.

My 3 year old GD in Australia attended nursery 4 days a week. Then the nursery closed because of the virus. DD started working from home and her DH still went to his essential work. A few weeks later daycare resumed for a limited amount of children, and the government said that they would pay the fees of all the registered children, whether attending or not, to keep the nurseries from going broke. Shortly after that they allowed all the children back, but still pay all their fees. So although DD and her DH both have good jobs they are getting free childcare, which has saved them a considerable amount of money. What a crazy situation.

There have only been 102 deaths in Western Australia, because they brought in quarantine rules very quickly, and closed the State borders. About 2/3 of the deaths were from cruise ships and visitors. Restrictions are being relaxed very quickly there, but not the quarantine rules. I don’t know when I will be able to visit my new GS.
We are receiving so many mixed and contradictory messages from our government and scientists. All we can do is make our own minds up about how to manage our various situations.
The U.K. has made a right mess of coping with Covid, resulting in many deaths, compared with Australia and some other countries.

Wouldn’t it be useful if GNHQ could put this dilemma / situation to someone in government?

Parent forced back to work under a threat if no pay and/or job loss .
Grandparent ( who would normally provide childcare) being told they can’t ?
Yet a total stranger can, just because they are being paid to do so?

Makes no bleedin’ sense to me .