The baby is only 2 weeks old! They are struggling with him crying, and also trying to get into a routine with him, apart from dealing with his new grandparents wanting to see him.
Give your daughter time and understanding and a lot of slack. Already you are being ridiculously competitive with the other grandparent/s whose circumstances are different to yours.
You have seen him already and seeing him once a fortnight doesn't seem too bad. Living 40 minutes away isn't exactly on her doorstep. You seem to want to dictate how often you should go to her house/her family. It's not about you. It's not about what you want. It's about a young family who want to adjust to this vastly changed new way of life. Any sulking from you won't help, will just make things worse.
The baby is also someone else's grandson, not just yours. He is the husbands little boy and this is his and your daughters new family. In time you will be able to be part of it in some way...when they are ready and it will evolve naturally if you let it. But not due to your timeframe. It's their life.
If your daughter wishes support from and spend time with someone her age, then she can and should. Stand back and be patient. She could need more support/baby sitting in the months and years to come. Meanwhile do not alienate her or be jealous of the other grandparent/s, that will get you nowhere. Just relax.
To feel 'desperate' and 'desperation' in such circumstances, when you should be feeling elated and looking forward to the future and being a grandma is dramatic and over reacting. Yes, you do need perspective...before you put your foot in it and mess up.
Take time to calm down, think and work out how to be reasonable, undemanding and cooperative. I also feel you need another focus so you are not so dependent on your daughters life. Find a hobby, spend time doing other things, living your own life. It will all pan out if you let it.
If my mother or in laws had had 'heavy hearts' when my sons were born I would have been stunned and hurt. Now I have 4 grandchildren I have to share them with 2 other sets of grandparents...all doing different things with and for the grandchildren. We all contribute differently, we all love them to bits. I love that one set take them on holiday [I can't], and one set has the other pair for sleepovers [I can't]. I just enjoy hearing they are having happy, full and interesting experiences no matter who provides them.
