Looking after grandchildren

If the payment is monthly, you are getting an hour rate of £4.37 if it's a four week month, less if it's a longer one. Less than half the legal minimum. Even taking into account the long holidays, still nowhere what she would pay to a commercial concern. Slave labour!

Always a difficult one. I did a day a week for my daughter until I became ill for a period. Her MIL stepped in taking on my day with her own. I now help her out as much as possible now I am back to health. D is now looking at part time. Perhaps the compromise is to be available evenings and weekends for babysitting. Best of both.

I would be very careful. I think as soon as you start accepting money, you then have to be registered formally for childcare which involves insurance etc. It doesn’t seem much at all for the time you would be working. It would also be very difficult to stop at any time because you would feel you were letting them down. It is hard because you’re pulled by your heart but I wouldn’t go into it without fully researching.

I think the diplomatic thing to do is meet her half way. Offer to look after them two days a week maybe if that would work for you ?

I wouldn’t do it like many have already said I see lots of pitfalls. My advise if your definitely considering doing it would be to write down a list of what happens when scenario.
Sickness, who has babies,will she still pay you.
Holidays is she still going to pay you if you take different holiday dates to hers.
How many years does she want you to do it?
School holidays?
To me it’s a recipe for disaster. Good luck whatever you decide.

Sometimes a sounding board is all that's needed for someone to come to their own conclusion.

It is also going to be harder to 'resign' from your grandchildrens job than any other.

It would be £700 per month. I would get paid for my 13 weeks holiday. Having the children in my home. I will be expected to pay my own tax if needed and ni. As I write this and read the responses I feel barmy even considering it.

Is there also the issue of pension contributions, now?

i wouldnt . she can get places at a day nursery......it would take up all your time and energy. although you love your grandchildren .this would not work ...and you need your job and independance......... you could arrange to pick them up after day care .depending on what hours you work .sorry .she had her children now she must look after them....hope you get something sorted .its like having her cake and eating it...

Well for a start you would NOT be self employed. That is not how the inland revenue would look at it. You would be employed by her and she would have to deal with the employer tax and n.i payments. You cannot be deemed self employed if you only work for one person at their direction and the fact she would be giving you paid holiday is a further indication of an employer/employee relationship . You could become a registered childminder but I think there are rules around the care of relatives. It is imperative that you do nothing which affects your NI contributions for future pension rights.

Sorry, don’t want to sound mean but it’s a bad idea. Never get into financial arrangements with close family members, especially with something as sensitive as child minding.

It will completely change the relationship you have with your daughter if she becomes your employer. Keep your independence, get another job, and look after your grandchildren for free occasionally as a treat for everyone.

Think carefully. You will stop being their granny and become their carer. You will be exhausted . The little one will have to fit in a sleep before you collect bigger one from school. Maybe you are blessed with endless patience and boundless energy however!

Kwill
Put us out of our misery is it £700 per week or per month?????

I looked after my granddaughter when she was younger, and while I loved it I wouldn’t do it again. She caught everything going and passed it on to me, including a particularly nasty dose of Norovirus. I felt ill for half the time because it takes me ages to get rid of a cold. Now, whenever my son visits I ask him if any of the children are ill before I let them in! So my advice would be not to, because looking after small children while feeling ill and/or exhausted isn’t much fun. It’s more tiring than when you had your own children because you are older, I have them sometimes for a weekend and I need a days rest after they go home!

I assume that because you're asking you already think that this may well be a bad idea
To take an extreme view for a moment - why did your daughter and the children's father have 3 children if they want to work full time and only spend a couple of hours a day with them when they are awake? And if that is what they want, why are they unwilling to pay someone who has trained and wants to do that job at the going rate?
I'm not saying never help out, but if she wants to employ you permanently and full time it should be on a sound commercial footing with a decent hourly rate, insurance, sick pay, holidays etc

I take it from your post that your daughter is a teacher/lecturer with her getting 13 weeks leave p.a. How come she doesn't qualify for child care in a nursery? It does sound to me like you are being taken for a ride here, sorry if that sounds critical. If you earn more that the amount she is paying you then stay where you are! Who would pay your N.I. And what about your tax?

I've no idea what age you are but seriously, three children in mature years...........I would run for the hills! It's one thing babysitting occasionally but full time job????? NO!

Kwill apologies as realise you will be working jn your DDs house not your own. Still will be self employed. Won't your DD have costs employing you apart from your weekly wage? Don't think I would do it. Children will be growing older with less need for you, what will you do then?

Don't do it. 40 hours for 700....she's taking the micky.
It will be exhausting. ...you may burn out. Is the holiday paid holiday? Say no thank you.
Look after yourself.

Say you will have a trial run.....a week or two.

Or is there another gran on the horizon.

I looked after my grandson from the age of 7 months for 2 days a week. His other gran did 2 days a week.
I was 60 and I loved it but was quite tiring some days.

There was no payment. When grandson started school we collected him 2 afternoons a week and he came back to us for a snack/tea and play for 2 hours before he was collected. They were such fun times...I miss them.

I’m reading this as being very much an arrangement to suit your daughter. If your present hours are 9-5 , and you may not be away from home much more than that, so would the change be that you would arrive at hers to find all three children up, fed, dressed,and ready to set off for school, or would you have to do that? Then, at the end of the day I imagine if it’s granny ‘ on duty’, then it might seem easy for her just to ‘pop into’ Tesco, or go to the dentist/doctor/bank etc, when you might be expected to feed them their evening meal too.
Sorry to sound negative, but I’ve seen the word ‘ resentment’ mentioned a couple of times, and I agree it would be a real possibility ( for me anyway).

This is an enormous commitment. I feel if you weren't doubtful you would not be asking here; could you perhaps help for a couple of days, and your DD find alternative arrangements for the rest of the time? You say that you will be free to do what you like with the other grandchildren once the eldest is taken to school but you won't be free - they will need entertaining and supervision and we do perhaps forget how tiring it is to be on duty all the time. For your own sake please think long and hard before you embark upon a full time low paid job, much as you love and want to help your daughter.

One or two days a week I would do for pleasure (and for free if I was retired) but not 3 children 5 days a week.

I took early retirement 3 years ago to look after my one and only grandchild 3 days a week. I took a considerable financial hit but I am enjoying it so much. No regrets at all.

Firstly you need to ask yourself if you want to do it. Then next you need to consider whether you could afford to.
If its yes to both of those. I would ask you daughter if she could pay for your travel costs and also your meals. As £700 seems a very small salary for that level of commitment.
Before you decide yes you need to think carefully through the pros and cons it may change your relationship with your daughter and grandchildren.

quizqueen yes, you’re right ?