Looking after grandchildren

The other thing to consider is your relationship as Granny would change and at weekends you would probably not see them for social occasions as you had been with them all week.

Someone mentioned tax benefits, but if you only get £700 a month, you won’t be paying tax. I’m also not sure if you can be self employed if you work solely for your daughter. It may be more of a employer/employee set up! If you are self employed you need to pay self employed NI rate.

Hi Kwill...your hourly rate would be approx £4.38 based on 160 hours a month! Is it worth it? How well do you get on with your daughter anyway before you take this role on? Could this role cause long term problems in your relationship with your daughter? Is she a fair person, will she take on your needs too during this situation? She does not sound fair with the hourly rate...comes across like she is taking advantage. On the positive ... Yes, you have more time with your lovely grandchildren which will bring you all very close...but, if things go wrong you will be devastated if your daughter then keeps the Grandchildren away from you. They do say not to work with Family members...think very carefully.

I bet your job pays more than that. Just say no she wanted the children she should arrange care not you

I would look for some changes to the proposed arrangement. Could your daughter drop off and collect the children from your home? That would shorten your day considerably and reduce your driving to just doing the school run. I know I would prefer to mind my grandchildren at my home, if it were an every day job. It also means the children will be dressed and ready when they arrive. I feel that the salary being offered is not realistic or fair, though I understand that that’s a hard topic to discuss. Maybe your daughter could provide a weekly hamper/basket of the food she wants the children to eat for lunches and snacks. That would reduce your additional trips to the shops.

I think mixing personal and professional should be done with extreme caution, for the material reasons already outlined, but also to preserve your sense of self and ultimately your relationship with your daughter and grandchildren. Xx

I looked after 22 mth GD before lockdown 1.5 days a week + GS (7yrs) One of those days was quite long so school runs all meals and bath time. The other half day wasn’t too bad but I would then go on and do my job. I did not get paid) I found it very tiring although also very enjoyable and I missed them terribly through lockdown. I’m considering early retirement now and would be happy to look after the GCh but little one will go to nursery when she can. I would not however want to be committed to full time all the time. Not sure it’s good for any of us! If she is offering 13 weeks holiday is she a teacher? If so then most employers offer childcare vouchers at advantageous rates. It is your choice though but not sure £700 is really appropriate remuneration for your professional services.

Oh sorry , missed your post stating your age. You’re still young and it’s a possibility. I’m 70 so no way Jose! Good luck with your decision ?

Your age is important in this. I see quite elderly grans pushing buggies around. I don’t think it’s fair to ask you. I definitely wouldn’t do it.

Is £700 a week or £700 A month?

I registered as a childminder many years ago when my oldest got married.Always looked after the 4 grandchildren for no fees. Wish I could afford to just have them. Did have a few times when i had to bite my tongue. Minimum fees for a place in Nursery here would be £50 a day each child but childminders are cheaper. Lots to think about including your pension contributions. Good luck

Thank you all for your advise I am a fit 51 year old. I have time to consider all my options and much appritiate your advise.

While it’s lovely to be able to help your daughter , there are considerations such your pension esp if you are employed in the NHS currently.
It’s a very big responsibility for one person who isn’t the parent.
You may also feel a bit isolated with three children 40 hours a week.
If you say no do you think that would affect your relationship with your daughter. Do what you think is best for you. Good luck.

I wouldn't do it, for many of the reasons given, but particularly having your daughter as your employer. I love my daughters very much, but I wouldn't want to be answerable to them in the same way one is to an employer. Family businesses are bad enough, but when it involves all the emotional ties of grandparents to grandchildren, and parent to child, it's a recipe for family discord! Your daughter needs to employ someone else as a daily nanny and you can help out in the usual way as grandparent. Don't let the fact that you are not happy in your current job sway you. Sort out a better job, keep your current rate of pay and keep your grandmother-grandchild relationship. Good luck!

Sorry if someone has already asked this but what happens if you are ill? would your daughter pay you sick pay or would you have to claim? And where would you be with claiming as you would be classed as self employed? Who pays your insurance as a self employed person? And if there is an accident while you are looking after the children, either in or out of the home? I can see so many problems with these arrangements.

3 children is a big responsibility and very tiring. Just one or two days a week would be tiring let alone a week.
Do you really want to lose the freedom you now have since your family has grown up? I expect you would still have them even when they are ill ( hard work) and perhaps you would lose the fun and enjoyment of your grandchildren. Grans spoil their grandchildren because they can - except you will have to basically parent them.

you are a nursery nurse so you are used to looking after 3 or more children, wouldn't you prefer your family? there could be issues but doesn't life continuosly throw up issues? If it doesn't work out you could go back to your old job? I would see the main problem ,one of feeling trapped and being your daughters employee! think carefully.

The rate of pay she is suggesting is an insult and less than half of minimum wage, with no benefits, no pension, no sick pay, no rights at all, is she going to pay you on the 13 weeks off? If not then your much lower wages also have to cover that time, what would happen if you were sick or she lost her job etc
You should get at least £1280 every 4 weeks, what is she currently paying for childcare, she should also be providing food for the children and the free hours she is entitled to would be lost unless you were able to take the 3 year old to nursery, which has other benefits for the child.
Think very carefully, not least of how it would change your relationship with your daughter, to employer and employee

I agree with semperfidelis. You wouldn't get the normal workplace pension, and could miss out on other benefits. Also lots more paperwork for you as a self employed person.
This is really childcare on the cheap. And what happens when all the children go to school? Presumably she will expect you to do the school runs and after school care so you will be doing less hours (for less money?).

Please, please Don’t! I truly believe that we all need a balance in our lives, I made the mistake of having my life totally revolving around my grandchildren while my daughters worked. To arrange time to see my own friends became a logistical nightmare..so I gave up. Holidays/trips away were equally as hard to arrange as it was not just us being affected. I missed my own part time nursing career , the comaraderie, the sense of achievement etc and over time it all became physically exhausting to a point where I knew that I was not 100% the best carer they could have due to being so tired and “stale”.
If only I could have that time back, I would suggest 1-2 days a week caring for 5he much loved grandchildren and for the rest of the week they attend a nursery for their socialization etc. That way, I could have maintained a part time job, my friends and could take trips during my own time off. The relationship with my grandchildren would have been “extra special times” rather than “the norm”.

It seems to me that already your family are taking advantage of you. The money is poor for a professional working those hours. You will have to arrange to pay your own tax. Also you should be entitled to meals on duty. This will turn a happy family situation into a boss, employee one which I wouldn’t like at all. Think really very hard about how this might affect the family dinamics.

£700 for a 40 hour week? She's 'avin a laugh!
What happens if you are ill - even something as simple as a stomach upset or a heavy cold ? will she be paying you sick pay and make alternative arrangements?
Mind you, I bet there are many mums reading this that are doing an equivalent for free!
Please think very hard about this and get the proper advice about tax , pension etc before you make a decision - this is one time when head has to rule the heart.

I think only you can make this decision but another thing to take into account is that in just a few short years they will all be at school and you will then be without an income.You need to decide whether you can survive without an income or whether you will be able to find another job when the time comes.

I gave up my job to look after my granddaughter a couple of days a week and absolutely loved it,she will be going to school in September and we will do a couple of school runs and look after her baby brother.My husband has now retired so there will be two of us to share the care which I am glad about as it can be exhausting.The school run can be a nightmare with parking,think of a wet day and trying to get a baby in the pram,a toddler and then the school age child as well all into the car.

Another thing is will you be looking after the children at your house or your daughters house?We looked after our granddaughter at our house and made the conservatory her play room.It meant that if we were exhausted at the end of the day I could just shut the door and sort the mess the next day.With the best will in the world toddlers and babies can be very messy.

If you decide to go ahead,I found mother and toddler groups brilliant and usually only a couple of pounds per family.Also our library did reading and singing sessions which were free.

We will be looking after DD1’s two children two days a week and DD2’s little boy one day a week from September.I love looking after them and we have such a close relationship with our granddaughter having looked after her a couple of days a week for three years now.Full time is a lot to ask but if you can manage financially and have the energy it is the best job in the world.

I don't know how old you are, but if the youngest is 3 months, in a few years you will be out of a job. Will that suit you? If you don't like your current job, that's a reason to leave it but not a reason to take the next job, you should take a new job because it's a job you want. If you were happy, would you leave this job to work for your daughter? If you take it and aren't happy, will you be able to leave your daughter's employ without it being terrible fraught? I lost a friend who worked for me, it just alters the balance of things when people work for one another. I realise you are family and that's stronger than friends..... Your hesitation is a red flag to me......

You don’t say how old or fit you are, but I imagine this will be exhausting. I would think carefully about how this will affect you pension. You probably won’t receive sick pay either.

I did something similar for 9 months while my son did a course. It was not every day and, even though I am very fit, it was really tiring.