Fear - Covid will stop me ever seeing family living abroad

I don't think your fear is irrational either, I have been feeling worried, sad, angry, all sorts of emotions since all this started.
I am getting more stressed with it now that we aren't all on the same page about the virus. My partner and myself have been isolating since 8th March and intend to carry on until we feel it's safe to do things. I don't care how many times we are told it's 'safe' to do things as I think right now it's all about getting the economy going and I'm getting really fed up of friends and family saying we should start going out shopping or visiting people, I honestly feel too scared right now.
I'm fortunate in that my son and his family only live 10mins drive away so we can always just go and stand in their garden and have a quick chat but once the weather gets colder I don't know how we will manage!

Try to remember you can not control "what if..." scenarios, you can only control things that are actually happening now. It's entirely natural for your mind to think "what if.." but you don't have to pay those thoughts attention. If you find yourself starting to imagine negative "what if.." stories tell yourself that's not actually happening at the moment so dismiss the thought. It will probably keep coming back so keep acknowledging it and pushing it away. Instead find a book to read, or a nice view to look at or list things to be grateful for.
All advice easy to post but not easy to follow but it does help.
I found a free online mindfulness course to follow at the start of lock down and its given me strategies to identify when I am thinking negative and anxiety inducing thoughts and I've got better at pushing them away.
Good luck.

Pelican, you are by no means alone. I empathise completely. I've taken myself in hand a bit by trying not to project my thoughts and aspirations too far ahead but rather concentrate on the present on a day to day basis. Anything else moves me into prospective disappointment and that evokes sadness. Not good. I'm fortunate enough to be in regular touch with my nearest and dearest but.... it's just not the same and I don't only mean cuddles. I try to keep myself occupied with projects; some ambitious (and I fail regularly) and some trivial. Seems to help..... You are NOT alone.

My son should have arrived on Saturday From NZ 11,500 miles away I haven’t seen him for four years I now won’t see him for another two as he wants to make sure his holiday isn’t cancelled again next year (the company gave him two years to rebook) I will miss my eldest granddaughters wedding but they are safe and happy and I m safe and happy there are so many ways of keeping in touch
Life is full of disappointments you have to pick yourself up and brush yourself down and count all your blessings well that’s what I make myself do or else I d go under completely

It use be awful to have such fears going through your mind. I hope that you will be able to calm them. There are lots of things online which suggest ways to learn to cope with stress.
I’m almost 81, with 3 of my DC and 3 GC, including a newborn, in Australia. I do hope that I will survive long enough, and be fit enough to see them all again. It’s in the lap of the gods. Luckily I’m a pretty pragmatic person. My feelings won’t make the slightest difference to the situation, so I must just accept it, and hope that I get to cuddle my new GS, and the rest of the family, before too long.
Thank heaven for my good health and the internet!

They say the vaccine is on its way, best news today and its the Brits who have done this!

Cookiemonster I would like to know which CBD oil you use and where I could buy the same. Thanks

Not irrational at all! So sad for you, and unsettling, with no horizon to plan for. Big hugs.
I have waves of fear too, about never hugging my grandchildren again (even though we can distance visit), and about world events in a world unsettled by COVID, climate change and authoritarian rulers. Poor grandchildren.

Yes Cookie Monster. I would also like to know which CBD oil you use please.

We were supposed to fly to the USA in August to see my DD and her family. They visited us in January, the first time we had seen them since August 2014, but our eldest grandson could not come because he had to have an emergency operation on his hand, which he had injured. So he planned to visit us later this year, with his girlfriend whom we have never met.

Not only is this not happening now, I find it hard to believe that it ever will. However, what really brings me down is thinking about the way it used to be with my other daughter and her kids. They live locally and used to be here all the time. The children practically lived here. Now, sometimes, I feel as if those days are gone forever.

Things will change. They always do. We have to hold on to the belief that they will change for the better.

Hi Pelican, I’m in the same boat as you. My son and his family also live in the USA, we were visiting in May and I don’t know when we shall see them again. It’s horrible and unless you are in a similar situation it is difficult to understand. I also feel very sad. We do text every day and FaceTime every week, but nothing replaces seeing them in the flesh. Roll on an effective vaccine.

I understand how people feel. I have days when I am very sad and anxious, and cry easily. It's a strange situation we find ourselves in. At times of crisis, I think it is human nature to want to huddle together for comfort, and that is the one thing that we can't do. All we can do is tell ourselves that, like all things, this will pass.

I'm interested in your CBD oil too as I have been anxious and fed up -aside of daughter 200 miles away with first baby (my first grandchild) now week and half late - son lives abroad and his wedding was cancelled in April and although rescheduled for October there is no guarantee the country he lives in will lift restrictions (or UK will lift restrictions to there) before October in order to go to wedding - so I feel I have two children with two different sets of anxieties atm.

There are so many here that feel just like you (and me!) Let's hope that soon we can see our DGC's and of course our lovely children. Feeling sad and angry is not irrational but a normal feeling in such circumstances.

I feel the same Pelican - and find Lemongrove's comment about your fears being irrational to be particularly insensitive.

Even if we are allowed to travel abroad - many of us will not be able to get holiday health insurance lost with EHIC. We will either have to go without and take a massive risk- with the worry and fear of huge financial cost in case of any illness or accident- or no longer travel to visit family, even in nearby Europe. That is NOT irrational, but the reality of No Deal Brexit.

I don’t think the fear is irrational - many thousands of people have died and it’s natural to be worried. The Important thing is to try to realise that many thousands of people have survived, and even more have not been affected at all.

Take it gently, one step at a time and I think you’ll find you’ll worry less and become more brave.

It is so comforting to see this post this morning
I have a DD in the USA with my grown up grandchildren and a dd in OZ with my 2 younger Grandaughters
I also feel sad that I dont know when I will see them again
The US family were coming over this month and ofcourse this has all been cancelled
And I too feel jealous when I hear and see other GP with their GC
A friend sends me a pic of her having granddaughter over for a sleepover
It was like rubbing salt in the wound, even though I know she didnt mean it like that
She fretted all the time in lockdown how she couldn't see her DGC and now she looks after them again whilst parents work
3 months was nothing compared to a year or more

I’m keen to know which CBD oil you got. I’d like to get some.
Thanks.

It’s not irrational at all. You can’t bat the fear away like a fly. I was the same at beginning, panic struck as I’m not ready to accept anyone I know dying especially family. Then I got the virus in March and recovered as did my husband. I’ve calmed down the panic a bit and wear masks and if necessary gloves. I take wipes with me everywhere. You’ll have to quietly accept other people aren’t as compassionate as you are.

I feel the same, my son and his family live in Canada. I'm going to wait till next year to fly out. I'm 69 with asthma so have been careful. There is hope of a vaccine now and it looks very hopeful for one soon The airline I was flying to Toronto with has extended my ticket for 2 years. I was supposed to be flying out tomorrow originally. I am very hopeful of going next year, but like you I'm scared too. Looking at the orwvioys pandemics they did all go eventually. The viruses are still around but have become seasonal viruses. Try not to worry honestly I think life will get back to normal after the winter.

As our PM said these are extraordinary times. It sounds like you might need a little help to help you get through this. Don't be afraid to.ask for counselling or maybe antidepressants. The other thing you could do is make some small personal crafts. Maybe a cushion with family photos, names dates or quilts to show your family how much you love them and could be handed down. I like to call them comfort quilts. You don't have to.be an expert sewer. There are plenty of tutorials on line.

Am looking forward to the day when we post and read about more variety of subjects than the c.virus. Even the news on TV and radio seem to be obsessed! It seems as if this is the only subject worth talking about!

Dear Pelican - you describe your feelings so well. I’m in the same boat and have been worried about how debilitating these feelings are. It’s so hard to explain. You don’t want to go around looking/feeling so miserable all the time but the pain is real. Sometimes I struggle to present a cheerful persona to others and find myself being over sensitive to quite innocent remarks. Thank goodness for Gransnet and a chance to share our thoughts.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.

Your fear is not irrational and completely understandable. Underneath anger or irritation, is often fear. You can only go with how you’re feeling. Once you recognise it, and are aware of it, you can begin to accept it. I would try to distract myself from time to time though, with anything or anyone that makes you feel a little bit happier. This will pass eventually but in the meantime, you can only go with how it is and know you’re not alone in your suffering,

Pelican - at the start of lock down, I was the same. Looking back now I recognise those 'waves of panic, sadness, fear, being angry' are all signs of anxiety and/or depression. I was having panic attacks, heart palpitations, hyperventilating, I knew I had to reign it in & not let it get the upper hand. I already do mindfulness to help with anxiety, and pain relief, but I decided to try CBD oil. I have to say I am so glad I did, I am now having the best sleep I have ever had in my entire life, pain always kept me awake, suffered with night terrors, now I am getting 10+ hours of refreshing sleep. Which in turn helps with my pain management during the day. It also calmed me down, and no more anxiety or panic attacks. So give it a go, keeping the black dog of depression away is a constant struggle, I wish you well x