I understand raising your grandchildren is becoming more and more frequent. My daughter passed away 5 years ago and she had at that time a 6 and 3 year old. There was no one else to raise the kids, and we certainly weren’t going to have them go to an orphanage, so we began raising them.
My husband and I have had children separately, 3 his and 2 mine, and are all grown and living their life. It certainly was not our plan to get back to raising young children but here we are.
I semi-retired, do work at home in our company business. My husband works at our business, which is 2 hrs away, so he leaves on Monday morning and returns on Friday afternoons. Difficult timing of all these things...
The challenge is, 1. My husband wants the children to be respectful & obedient, which I agree with, however whenever he’s home, he yells at them for everything and anything it seems. Sometimes the silliest things in my opinion. Yells at them for literally reading a book at the kitchen table. He also yells at them when they are being fresh or talking back. But his form of discipline is yelling and hurtful.
He also feels that we do not have “Us” anymore, although I try to go out of my way when he comes home to make things special for him. But I cant have the kids leave when he comes home!
Rather than embracing the children as ours, he makes It a point that they are ‘interrupting’ our life. And during arguments, I know he makes the kids feel this way.
We’ve been married for 20 yrs, have had our share, but through it all have been good, through working things our.. But this is different. There’s no way of ‘working out our grandchildren’. And I feel sadly that although it’s a lot of work on me mostly, and that I do feel loved by the kids, he says he doesn’t, and doesn’t feel there’s anything good about this whole situation.
Not sure what to do or how to address his concerns. They are kids, our grandkids (from my daughter), and maybe that’s the issue, but I’m certainly not going to abandon them.
Any ideas on how to help my husband trailhead this?
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