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Grandparenting

Interfering?

(113 Posts)
Callistemon Thu 24-Sept-20 10:49:18

Is the school somewhere very odd
Um, never thought about it.

Callistemon Thu 24-Sept-20 10:48:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotSpaghetti Thu 24-Sept-20 10:38:30

callistemon, I think it's usual and reasonable to not let primary/junior children out of school at lunchtime but I'm amazed there's a rule that children are to be taken to the school gate.
Where in the country are you? Is the school somewhere very odd or with no footpaths?
Why would they so disempower the older children like this?

Callistemon Thu 24-Sept-20 10:31:36

Before my DGD started at senior school I found I was waking in the night, worrying about her journey there, then I told myself to get a grip!
Mind you, when I got up this morning it was tipping it down with rain and my first thought was about her standing at the bus stop getting soaked before a day in school.

We never stop worrying smile

BGB31 Thu 24-Sept-20 10:26:35

Thanks everyone. Yes, it’s not my business really. (And @MrsRochester you are absolutely right about DD loving him more than I do! ?).
Glad I post here, I appreciate the direct responses.

Callistemon Thu 24-Sept-20 10:25:51

Is he the only child walking in that direction? Can he meet with friends and walk with them?

Where we live, primary children are supposed to be taken to the school gate and are not allowed out of school in the afternoon unless a parent or designated person is there to meet them, then the teacher lets them out even up to and including Y6.

Then, suddenly, at age 11, they have to walk to the bus stop, catch the service bus and go to senior school on their own.

jaylucy Thu 24-Sept-20 10:17:50

You don't know if he will be walking on his own or with friends and you don't know whether it will be every day.
It's his parents choice and they obviously think that he is capable and sensible enough to be able to cope.
Keep out of it!

NotSpaghetti Thu 24-Sept-20 10:12:52

Mmmn. I know it seems like a different world, and of course there's more traffic but I think you'd be hard pushed to find many of the 60years plus generation who weren't walking to school at 9.
No doubt she'll do a few trial runs with him first.

Ashcombe Thu 24-Sept-20 10:12:52

I guess it depends on the types of roads your DGS has to cross. Presumably, he has walked the route many times with your DD so he will know the safest place to cross each one. Is he allowed to go to local shops unaccompanied?

My DGS is 10 now but since he was nine he has been allowed to make his own way to a play area which entailed crossing a busy road. He is sensible and naturally cautious so I guess I’m saying it depends on the maturity of the child more than his chronological age.

My advice would be to speak to your DD in a positive way about how impressed you are that DGS is being trusted to take care of himself. Good luck!

Namsnanny Thu 24-Sept-20 10:09:04

It's always a difficult time when the youngsters go out on their own for the first time, so I sympathise.

For my money you have already mentioned your relationship with your daughter can be tense, so I would tread very very gently if I were in your shoes smile

It is up to her and his father to judge what they think their son is capable of.

If you really think it wont upset them, find out more details. Is he walking on his own, for example?

For what it's worth I would feel the same way as you do!!

MrsRochester Thu 24-Sept-20 10:06:32

Would agree. You’ve said she’s a good mum, her decision.
She loves him, after all (more than you do, sorry ?).

Grandmabatty Thu 24-Sept-20 10:02:32

Keep quiet. This is not your business and yes, it is interfering. You have no idea of what plans your dd has put in place and you only have one side. If your relationship with dd is tense, then interfering will make it worse.

BGB31 Thu 24-Sept-20 09:55:17

Briefly....GS (9) has told me he is soon to be allowed to walk to school on his own. About a 25 min walk crossing several roads. He has a mobile phone - old one of Mums.
I think he’s much to young for this and am worrying all the time. BUT don’t know whether to mention to his mum (my DD). Our relationship can be tense. Also I only have DGS side of the story (although it did sound as if they’d talked about it, so don’t think it’s completely made up!).

Should I keep quiet? She’s a good mum and will have thought about pitfalls but as I said, I think he’s too young.