Gransnet forums


So Sad

(8 Posts)
DinoGran Mon 12-Oct-20 08:58:57

I just need to say something to someone. I have a very close relationship with my GD. I’ve supported DD through so much since she was born, too much to go into here. I’m absolutely so sad today. My GD spent with weekend with me so her mum could have a break but when I dropped her off it was clear DD was drunk. I had hoped beyond hope that she was over the drinking issue that she’s had over the years but clearly not. I feel so sad for them all that she can’t recognise that it’s a problem and get help. I feel I should be able to do something but anything I’ve tried to do or say in the past hasn’t had any effect. I know that all I can do is to keep loving her but it’s very difficult. My GD has relationship issues brought about by her insecurity I’d say, so to have to deal with this at this time breaks me. I feel angry and helpless. My GD is the sweetest, kindest girl just like her mum used to be until she encountered some of life’s rubbish. I live alone and can’t talk to my DS as there’s no support there and he doesn’t understand. With everything that’s going on in the world I just wish she could see how precious life is as I fear the affects of drinking is doing so much damage. Thanks for listening.

BlueBelle Mon 12-Oct-20 09:14:57

Dinogran I just wanted to say what a sad dilemma for you to be in you love your daughter and granddaughter (you don’t say how old she is) and naturally want the best for them both and this isn’t the best is it ? I have no actually experience if this but do know Al Anon have a lot of help for families of alcoholics could they help you feel you can unburden a bit and perhaps gain more insight into how best to support and help I understand about your son it wouldn’t be helpful but you do need to be able to share your worries with someone
I believe there are others on here who have had similar problems so I m sure you ll get lots of good advise

silverlining48 Mon 12-Oct-20 09:16:43

I am sorry and can understand how upsetting this is, did you speak to her about it because depending on the age of her daughter she could be putting her at risk, it’s a dreadful Situation to be in for all of you and clearly your daughter needs help if she chooses to get it,
No doubt you have been through this before, but your granddaughter Is a child and her needs are paramount.
I wish you well and hope your daughter recognises her situation and is able to get some help,

sodapop Mon 12-Oct-20 09:23:47

So sorry to hear of your daughter's drinking problem DinoGran it must be very worrying for you. Unfortunately unless the alcoholic actually wants to stop drinking there is little you can do. There is support and advice for families from Al Anon I think.
In the meantime just be there for your granddaughter, make sure she is safe and knows she can rely on you to support her ( not sure of her age ) I hope your daughter gets some help soon.

silverlining48 Tue 13-Oct-20 14:18:57

I have just read on another post today about a poster with a daughter who is drinking and thought you might be interested in another support organisation which was mentioned, Alfam I think, but maybe check.
I hope you are having a better day today.

annodomini Tue 13-Oct-20 14:57:36

I'm sad for you and your GD. As well as Al-anon, there is alateen for the children of alcoholics, though you haven't said if she is a teenager. I also understand that there are books available from that organisation.

Toadinthehole Tue 13-Oct-20 15:27:55

I really feel for you too. I’ve had no direct experience of this, but I do know that any addict can’t be helped until they want to do it. It sounds like you’re already a good support for your granddaughter, and she’s lucky to have you. Just keep doing what you’re doing. You can’t help your daughter until she’s ready, but find out about organisations that can help you and your granddaughter. 💐

Thistlelass Wed 14-Oct-20 23:14:08

Hi, I can relate to this obviously. Nobody on here can properly say that your daughter is addicted to alcohol or even drinking independently x I am not going to discuss on a forum. If you want someone to bat ideas around with re how she can be helped, please message me and I will.respond.