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Childcare during Coronavirus

(18 Posts)
Winny Mon 09-Nov-20 21:39:01

I have looked after my son’s children one day a week since they were one and their mother returned to work. I also looked after my daughter’s child one day a week from age 1-3 but now she is on Maternity leave so does not need me.
My son still expects me to continue during Lockdown since they could not cope otherwise. However my daughter thinks it is ridiculous because I cannot visit her.
I am fed up of the tension and wondered what your views are.

Iam64 Mon 09-Nov-20 21:43:37

If I understood your post, the difficulty in visiting your daughter is related to the covid risks linked with the continuing care of your son's children.

Your family is in the same situation as many others. What do you want to do?

GrandmaKT Mon 09-Nov-20 21:44:10

Well what do you want to do? You are allowed to look after a grandchild according to the lockdown rules so if you want to you should continue to do so.
Does your daughter think that you should stop looking after your son's children when your son needs you in order to visit her when she doesn't? Seems very selfish to me!

vegansrock Mon 09-Nov-20 21:45:21

Well if you are in a childcare bubble with one family you can’t do childcare for another and you can’t visit your daughter anyway, so what’s the problem? You could maybe meet her outside in the park? The rules are ridiculous in many ways we all know that, but that’s what they are at the moment.

Iam64 Mon 09-Nov-20 21:49:32

vegans rock- I agree the rules seem dotty in many ways but, the evidence seems to be that the virus has been spread when families get together.
We are less likely to socially distance

Hetty58 Mon 09-Nov-20 21:52:48

I'm just not allowed to look after any grandchildren as my children say it's far too risky at my age (66).

I don't want them to worry about me, so accept things as they are, for now.

The way I understand it, though (in theory), is that a single grandparent can provide childcare (in a bubble) and have a second, 'support' bubble with different people. Am I wrong?

GrandmaKT Mon 09-Nov-20 22:08:38

Yes, I think you're right Hetty. But the childcare bubble must be for childcare only - "You can only use a childcare bubble for childcare – that is, where the child’s parent or regular carer is not present. You cannot use a childcare bubble to mix with another household for other reasons."
If that is the case, and presuming the OP is single, she could also be in a support bubble with her daughter.

Winny Mon 09-Nov-20 22:11:22

GrandmaKT My daughter does not think we should be doing any childcare during COVID. We are 70 and 75 but fit and active and cope perfectly well under normal conditions.

GrandmaKT Mon 09-Nov-20 22:22:16

OK, so obviously the support bubble scenario isn't applicable to you.
I'd say if you feel happy and safe providing the childcare (and you are obviously being useful), then continue.
How old are the children? I think I'd feel safer if they were at home all the time, rather than in and out of nursery on the days you don't have them. I presume your son and his partner are very careful about not bringing the virus into the house too?

Winny Mon 09-Nov-20 22:36:47

My son is a police officer, his wife a secondary school teacher.
GS is 5 so goes to school and GD is 2 and attends nursery for 2 days. Personally I cannot think of a worse scenario but my husband says we should continue.
Son and his wife keep out of the way when we collect the children and my husband says there is very little risk from small children.

maddyone Mon 09-Nov-20 23:11:58

As I understand it Winny you cannot visit your daughter at the moment because we are in lockdown, so households cannot mix, unless in a childcare bubble or a support bubble.

welbeck Mon 09-Nov-20 23:23:20

i think it is risky.
your husband cannot decide to put you at risk.
your daughter is acting from concern for you.
that's a good thing.
you and husband are in a vulnerable group, age-wise.

Hetty58 Mon 09-Nov-20 23:25:42

Winny, I see that you are in a couple so support bubbles don't apply.

My four children would all agree with your daughter. Doing childcare may be risky. Being 'fit and active' makes little difference when your T cells are so diminished by age (they begin to decline in our 30s).

Is it worth it, for one day a week? I'm sure that other arrangements could be made!

GrandmaKT Mon 09-Nov-20 23:31:37

I agree, it does sound risky, considering your ages and with all the family being out and about and mixing. Have you discussed it with your son and daughter in law?

B9exchange Mon 09-Nov-20 23:37:03

You can be in a support bubble with your son's family, but not see your daughter apart from each of you going for a separate walk with her. It is only for three and a half more weeks, hopefully, I would try and stick it out.

welbeck Tue 10-Nov-20 00:11:35

there is a lot of spread in the teenage plus age group.
her DIL is a secondary teacher.
Son is police officer, so again out there, cannot work from home.
both high risk to contract and carry the virus.
and you are both vulnerable.
it's not worth the risk.
they have steady jobs, will not be made redundant.
surely they can pay for a day's child-care.

Hetty58 Tue 10-Nov-20 00:28:38

welbeck, yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. It seems that Winny's family (apart from her daughter) think that they should carry on as normal.

We're not in normal times, though (far from it) so I'd always be inclined to err on the side of caution. How would they ever forgive themselves if she caught it?

thentherewerefour Tue 10-Nov-20 10:29:40

Childcare During Covid-19 Research Project: Grandparents

Childcare During Covid-19 is a large scale research project that seeks to understand the impact of the pandemic on the childcare sector in England and Wales. The aim is to gather data and evidence of the challenges that the pandemic poses for the sector and to make policy recommendations to support practitioners and families alike.

We would like to speak to grandparents who look after, or used to look after at least one child aged 0-4 who live in East and South London, Leeds and West Yorkshire region, Bristol and Avon county and Wales. We are particularly interested in speaking to grandparents whose families members are key workers, grandparents from BAME communities, grandparents of children with SEN/ALN and grandparents who are supporting single parents.

Participation will involve two interviews, one in Autumn 2020 and one in Spring 2021. In order to participate in the research, you will need to be willing to participate in both interviews. Interviews will take place online, at your convenience and will last approximately 1 hour. You will be invited to discuss your experiences, thoughts and opinions about key issues and recent changes to how you provide childcare.

Grandparents have direct experiences and knowledge of providing informal childcare themselves and are uniquely placed to know how to create positive change for families, staff and the wider community.

The interviews will be anonymous and all data will be treated confidentially. You may use a pseudonym if you wish.

You can find more information here:
Twitter: @childcarecovid

Who is organising/ funding the research?
This research is supported by the Centre for Employment Relations, Innovation and Change (CERIC) at Leeds University Business School and funded by the Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC) and UKRI.

If you are interested in participating in this research please contact:

Dr Camille Barbagallo
Centre for Employment Relations, Innovation and Change
Leeds University Business School
Researcher Email: [email protected]