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Grandparenting

Issue with DIL- should I respond?

(7 Posts)
keepingquiet Mon 01-Feb-21 16:41:20

Had message from DIL today complaining about my son. I posted about their messy lives on another thread. Things have been quieter but have bubbled up today. I tried to calm her down and she hasn't messaged me back. I did what some kind people suggested here and rang the NSPCC but they haven't got back to me either,
I've tried to keep myself busy but can't help feeling anxious. Should I message her or my son or leave them alone? Can't figure out what is best to do.

Toadinthehole Mon 01-Feb-21 17:24:43

I can’t quite remember your last thread. Could you possibly jog my memory?

keepingquiet Mon 01-Feb-21 17:35:59

It is a long story about my messy family and my son's relationship with his adult stepson which I feared was impacting on the baby.
Me and my son have been working hard on our relationship. Out of the blue my DIL (they're not married but it's easier) messaged me this morning about my son not being supportive but she couldn't explain what he was doing wrong.
She accused me of not caring and was quite confrontational.
I didn't bite the bullet and finished my saying I thought they were all doing well in difficult circumstances.
Because it has played on my mind before and it is a weekday instead of a weekend which they normally reserve for their dramas I did ring the NSPCC as some recommended on here. I was told someone would ring back but they haven't.
I'm trying not to be anxious but I don't know whether I should message my son or not? I know it seems petty but I probably won't sleep. My son said they's had a good weekend and messaged me this morning with no issues but she is clearly not happy.

cornishpatsy Mon 01-Feb-21 17:36:00

I would leave them to it, we are often left anxious about a situation only to find it was resolved.

Did you actually speak to anyone from NSPCC ? if so they may be working on the case and would not necessarily get back to you, however if you just left a message I would get back on to them.

It must all be very worrying for you, I do hope it is resolved as soon as possible.

keepingquiet Mon 01-Feb-21 17:41:34

thanks. My instinct is to leave it but now I have the anxiety!

I did speak to someone and gave them the info they asked for but he said he'd passed it on and someone would ring me.

Last time when I contacted emergency mental health services they never contacted me back either.

It is a long going saga which will not be resolved until Covid is over and I can see my grandchild more, but meanwhile I should just leave alone, and keep quiet!

Toadinthehole Mon 01-Feb-21 18:43:30

Yes, I also think just leave it. You’ve contacted the NSPCC....so your bit is done.....for now. Your son says they’re ok, so you have to respect that’s the truth. Well done for contacting the NSPCC. That’s the hard bit over. Please try to relax. I know easier said than done, but hopefully things will look different in the morning. Keep us posted💐

keepingquiet Mon 01-Feb-21 20:42:33

Thankyou- I suspect we'll have a quiet couple of weeks and it will all kick off again!