Precocious cheeky behaviour in six year old grandaughter

I don’t think you can say anything to her parents, because that would imply criticism, but if she is rude to you, have a quiet word to say that she is pretty on the outside, but it is equally important to be kind and thoughtful and polite because if she behaves badly she won’t have friends

I missed the ‘6’ also, and still can’t see it.
It's in the heading, Aepgirl

My lovely nephew went through a somewhat ‘challenging’ phase when he was younger. He was lovely until he was about seven and then up until he was about eleven he was bloody awful to be honest. The whole family, quite coincidentally acted as one, and in the main part disregarded poor behaviour (where appropriate) and massively reinforced good behaviour. It took a while, but it worked. He is the most lovely and thoughtful young man now. Yes, of course, he has his moments but you would struggle to find a nicer young man.

There's a good chance she'll grow out of it but, if her parents accept rude behaviour and don't set boundaries, she'll probably have a few tough lessons to learn.
You will know whether this is due to them making extra allowances during the stresses of lockdown or have also allowed/encouraged this behaviour.
I would probably focus on praising good, thoughtful behaviour or even finding books suitable for her age that include some kind acts by someone and discuss these with her.
Nothing wrong with calmly telling her that you are disappointed in her behaviour and don't want her to do/say something again if she is rude to you in your house. You can ask her how she would/does feel if someone treats her that way.
Only speak to the parents about it if you are totally sure a calm conversation will be possible, that won't result in you being banished!
Good luck and try not to worry too much.

AmberSpyglass

Honestly, she sounds great. The world needs more confident women who know their worth - don’t be the one to drum it out of her at a young age.

Definitely this.....

I remember once reading about a young woman who fully admitted she was spoilt by her parents who worshiped her, she said she got quite a shock when she started work and realised other people didn't think she was as wonderful as her parents did - could be the future for your GD.

i know the feeling, unfortuately,these days especially, there are no punishments, reasoning with the child seems to be the way now

My friends daughter was very much like your granddaughter,her parents were quite elderly when she was born,dad nearly eighty,mum nearly fifty,much adored by both of them.She remained the same throughout school,always getting excluded.She had many boyfriends from a very young age, and unfortunately her life was ended by an abusive partner before she was forty

Don't squash her spirit.

If she's rude or aggressive, sure, mention it

If not. live and let live

Presumably the girl in question is an only child. For the past year she has not been in school and has been denied the company of other children. It might be a rude awakening when she returns to school and has to learn and play cooperatively. I could be wrong, but it seems that she has been too much in the company of adults, denied the company of and competition with her peers. A return to school if/when it happens will do her the world of good but she might not like it! My advice to you is to ignore her if she steps out of line. It's most likely a phase and she'll grow out of it. Just wait till she reaches puberty and stand well back!

Mirand, just be thankful that she's outgoing and confident. I'd be far more worried about a quiet, shy, polite child. It's a tough world out there - so confidence is needed to weather the storm!

Aepgirl, the title of the whole thread is ‘Precocious cheeky behaviour in six year old grandaughter’.

Strong and confident yes, selfish, overconfident and self centered, no. The child is only six, it’s probably a phase, my cousins daughters were a nightmare at 6 or 8, now they are lovely young women.

How I hate to see how lively, self-confident girls with ideas and plenty to say are suppressed at school so they become 'compliant'. Happened to my wonderful daughter (who was never rude) and I think the effects are still there many years later. Rudeness, where it really does exist, can be remedied, and children can learn about this and the consequences. If someone is rude to your GD one day, she will start to realise it is not acceptable.

There’s a big difference in being quiet and submissive to being a precocious, over confident, spoilt child. The parents aren’t doing her any favours. There’s nothing you can do though!

Your granddaughter is learning very quickly via all the photos taken of her that I am presuming are uploaded by her adoring parents on various social media platforms that she can be "famous" out there in cyberspace. It is the way things are now and many girls and young women can be famous for doing very little under the guise of social influencing even at the age of 6. Maybe as she gets older and she meets a teacher or someone at school who inspires her she will develop confidence and channel it into a career. Meantime try your best to steer her towards good manners, she can have those without turning into an introvert.

If she is rude to you then pick her up on it, even if parents are around. Tell her you do not find it acceptable.

Everything else you will have to ignore.

She’s 6. Give her a break please.

There is an awful lot of jumping to conclusions on this thread. The OP has judged her grand-daughter as obnoxious, rude, precocious, embarrassing and a monster, and almost everyone has piled in to agree and say that her life will be the worse for it.

These things are a matter of opinion, and we have nothing to go on here. When I was a child, if I spoke out of turn at all (ie expressed a different opinion) or even had the 'wrong' look on my face my grandmother came down on me like a ton of bricks. She felt that she had a right to discipline her grandchildren, and my mother never stood up to her (although she didn't allow much freedom of expression either).

They both felt that what I would call confident children were obnoxious and precocious (a favourite word of my mother's), and I completely disagree. They were both far more concerned about what others would think than about how we children felt, and would happily embarrass us by telling us off in order to avoid their own (easily triggered) embarrassment from making them uncomfortable.

When I had my own children, I would not allow my mother to crush them, and I'm sure she felt that some of their behaviour was rude, whereas I saw it as assertive, or simply having an opinion of their own.

I think that a lot of damage can be done by not allowing children to be themselves so that grandparents (or parents, or other carers) are not embarrassed.

I don't normally splurge like this online, but I feel better for getting that off my chest.

Easy bee... I don't think Shirley Temple was a spoilt child, the fact was, she was an extremely hard worked child, born into show business from a very young age, she was treated harshly when she got her script or dance moves wrong. Yet it was money who drove her parent's to push her to the brink. She didn't have much choice in the matter, her childhood was awful, hence why she found it so hard to adjust to normality when it arrived. This happens to so many child stars, usually they end up going completely off the rails. So I can't agree with the spoilt child label here, sorry .

Agree with yorki

It is easy to judge a reaction without seeing the full picture of what created it

Judgements, criticisms, complaints there are no punishments...that it’s all about reasoning with children these days. I read these kind of comments with a sense of disbelief that some older women are so quick to complain, to use derogatory words to describe small children.

Agreed - I found it quite upsetting.

She reminds me of my 4 year old grandson
He tries to be cheeky and funny, which is fine but when i
baby sit, he knows when i mean business.
Its nice for children to have their own character and I'm sure her parents will step up when needed.
What i do is, if my daughters tells me a story about my little man , how he did something or was cheeky, thats when i give advice, most times shes grateful for the support

Eve

No, there's absolutely nothing you can do, that's if you don't want to cause an argument between her parents and yourself! Until they waken up to the fact their daughter is a spoiled little brat and take steps to modify her behaviour, then you are on a hiding to nothing! ?
If you find her behaviour upsetting, then I would suggest that you distance yourself from her and her parents! Of course, it's not going to be easy, but for your own peace of mind, it may be the most sensible option! I have a daughter who has always been difficult and her partner is an over-entitled spoiled brat who, in my opinion, needs a good boot up the backside! They have just had their first child on 12th January, and although it breaks my heart that I don't have a better relationship with my daughter, and that I won't be involved in my little granddaughter's life, I am not prepared to be treated like dirt by my daughter and her partner, so I will stay away and let them get on with their lives! Fortunately, they live over 50 miles away from where I stay, so it shouldn't be too hard! Maybe one day, as their little girl grows up, they may see the error of their ways, but I am not going to spend my days waiting! And after what they have both said and done to me, which adversely affected my mental health, I am not really in the mood to be forgiving! ?