6 Year Old Grandson Out of Control

He sounds like my nearly 8 year old GS, he was always hyper active from the minute he could walk, poor sleeper. Often sitting downstairs at 5am... He talks non stop and every thing has to be done in his order. We had straps put on our upstairs windows to stop him climbing out, he takes things to pieces and often hides thing.. I remember when he was 6, he managed to open our back gate and walk through an alley past several houses and knocked at the front door.... I nearly had a heart attack. Back gate now has several bolts and padlocked... He has been diagnosed with ADHD. He is highly intelligent and understands thing very quickly. I love him to bits, but he is HARD work.. bless him.

Can only repeat some of the advice as a bit similar to my grandson ADHD, mild autism. Hope you get the support and answers your looking for.

I may try the custard powder experiment

trisher

When my brother went to secondary school age 11 he used to impress me if we were left in the house by ourselves by recreating science experiments. He blew and exploded bubbles using a gas tap, showed me how custard powder sparkled when you sprinkled it on a gas flame and blew the lid off a custard powder tin. I thought it was incredible. If he did it now would people think he needed treatment?

I did have a school friend who blew off some fingers making fireworks but he was much older, at grammar school.

I had a chemistry set and remember experimenting with a toy stove I had, which melted.

So science experiments should be supervised carefully!

I think a lot of you have hit the nail on the head. I truly don't think he has any sort of "condition", he certainly loves investigating and experimenting. Talking to my other DS today and he said the bath bomb down the toilet was the sort of thing he would have probably tried just to see what would happen, so maybe there is a bit of a gene in there! I'm thinking the book might be a good idea for him, by the sounds of it, it would really appeal to him. A lot of what he does is typical of an energetic archetypal boy but some things, like pouring Mum's Clarins lotion on the bed are just so naughty and purposeless. I do genuinely believe he will turn into a decent young man, but it's awful to see my DS and DIL practically on their knees at times with trying to keep him from completely wrecking the house and their possessions.

When my brother went to secondary school age 11 he used to impress me if we were left in the house by ourselves by recreating science experiments. He blew and exploded bubbles using a gas tap, showed me how custard powder sparkled when you sprinkled it on a gas flame and blew the lid off a custard powder tin. I thought it was incredible. If he did it now would people think he needed treatment?

ADHD maybe?

I'm remembering DGS at that age, he's 13 now and much quieter!
Children are so restricted at the moment and in fact more restricted even during normal times.

Great minds think alike Callistemon!!!

Some children can be hard work, it doesn't mean they need to see a psychologist.

Scientific experiments can be fun and some could seem rather 'naughty' to channel his mischeviousness eg exploding apples, volcano eruptions etc

Has he got "The Dangerous Book for Boys" ? He's a bit young but some of the projects in there might interest him

I was trying to remember the name of that book to suggest it, thanks trisher.

All children are different and maybe expecting him to 'be a certain way' isn't right for him. He might be lively, inquisitive, energetic and even bored. He may need more structured activities with guidance and support rather then 'go and play'. My eldest boy was 'lively' to say the least, had no learning difficulties he was just one of life's balls of energy and still is (at 35). Yes they are hard work but worth all the effort you can muster to keep them interested with challenging and engaging things to do. He settled down by age 10-ish to painting model figures and collecting things (like boys do) so all is not lost. Good luck with your bright young thing he could turn out to be the one who shines!

Goldeneye No No No the thought of a psychologist for a 6 year old boy with high energy levels is horrendous I couldn’t disagree more
The child sounds perfectly normal, awkward, a good bit naughty, pushing boundaries and full of unused energy maybe a bit jealous of the 8 year old maybe totally fed up with lock down, a bit young to mess around with friends ...an enquiring mind and hands and legs that need physical stuff to do
He will mature into an intelligent being who will find a niche whether it’s travelling the world, in the services or a gym instructor he may calm right down and be a financial advisor
but I doubt it I have one very active grandson who is now working his way up in the renewables industry doing awful stuff including heights out in the wild weather that I can’t bear to think about but it suits him

Tire him out Once lockdowns over start him on some physical activity clubs he s just the right age

He sounds a real handful but a loving and active child. I'd set up a reward system with clear guidelines about what is and isn't allowed, and with a simple request that if he gets an idea about doing something risky he talks to someone about it first. If he manages this (and it's possible he may not) try not just condemning hs ideas out of hand but discussing safe ways he can do things. You could do a star chart with a big reward at the end of any week when he manges to keep to the rules. But I fully admit it might not work.
You could also set him challenges, do physical things with him and experimental things.
Had we not been in lockdown I would have suggested enrolling him in a youth organisation like cubs, or getting him swimming lessons. Could he perhaps put up a tent in the garden and build himself a camp? Has he got "The Dangerous Book for Boys" ? He's a bit young but some of the projects in there might interest him www.amazon.co.uk/Dangerous-Book-Boys-Conn-Iggulden/dp/0007232748/ref=asc_df_0007232748/?hvlocphy=9046781&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310991231187&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=gransnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-565724266703&hvrand=11568738588346444957

At 6 he needs a child psychologist. No point in second guessing - there are lots of variables here and only a professional will be able to get to the actual cause. The bad behaviour has become a problem but it's not the root - there will likely be an attachment issue with the primary caregiver but a child psychologist will be able to talk with your gs and press the right buttons to get some answers.

I suspect he may be extra-intelligent and able child. He sounds a real handful but he should mature quickly.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My grandaughter was like this at this age. An angel at school, a nightmare at home. Nobody can work out what is going on and now at 9 years old she is beginning to show elements of the same at school.
I don't know what the answer is and despite intervention by Social Services, Play workers and other professionals, it is still a mystery. Her parents are trying to find hobbies that she can do that allow for impulsivity and thrills to try to channel the behaviour but it is difficult. Punishment just makes her resentful and if anything, is counter productive.

Again, thanks to everyone who has replied to my update. My DH and I always say he should have been born in the 1950s, he's the sort of boy who will pick up a rubber band off the pavement and put it in his pocket - "I can do something with that", loves nothing more than putting on his wellies and going in the garden, riding his bike in the park with Mum & Dad and sister, poking around in the dirt with a stick. He does have an insatiable curiosity about everything, which is mostly very lovable. I mentioned the advice to talk to the school to DS and he says their advice is never to punish, sit down and talk about it. All that achieves is a smirk and clear evidence he's not listening to a word that's said then as soon as the talk is over it's business as usual. Once lockdown is over they are going to introduce him to a martial art, which as well as burning off energy instils discipline into children. I would so love to know how one of these TV nannies would deal with this behaviour!

My younger sister behaved similarly at about the same age.

Nothing my parents did, made any impression, nor the advice given by what at that time was called a child guidance clinic.

Looking back, I can see two probably causes for her behaviour: one the fact that she was dyslexic and was treated as if she was either stupid or being deliberately obtuse.
Two that our mother made it blatantly clear all through our childhood that she greatly preferred me to my sister.

I am still amazed by the fact that my sister loved me, instead of resenting or hating me.

I am not saying that your daughter or son-in-law are showing favouritism or that the boy is dyslexic. He is obviously doing well at school, and his parents sound to be loving, caring people.

I am using this example from my childhood to point out that there is assuredly a reason that the child cannot express in words for his behaviour. That reason has to be found before the child falls down off a roof or something similar.

Suggest as gently as you can that the family need professional help to find out what is wrong and put it right.

My DD was a wriggly fidget
She couldn't go to sleep without doing gymnastics on her bed. As it was directly above the sitting room, we endured bang, crash, wallop every night until she just went to sleep. She was older than 6, too!

My older grandson was very much like this.
Even as a tiny baby, people who wanted to hold him soon gave him back, as he was wriggly and fidgety, and full of energy.
He grew out of it, thankfully!

Excellent advice as always from Gransnetters. My two penny worth: as above and keep an eye and ear on the sister, especially when she isn’t aware others are listening. Undermining siblings can be a corrosive drip, drip drip of comments. Apologies to the little lass if she is a model of behaviour.

He seems to have an enormous amount of energy that could need channelling, not easy at the moment with everything n hold.

A sport or gymnastics, judo or something which he will take to. One of my DGC is very much into gymnastics and rarely sits still, she is flipping, cartwheeling, trampolining etc all day long when she's not doing her schoolwork.

Do they have a garden - could you buy him a trampoline, football goalposts and a ball or something he could take to to get rid of excess energy?

I know a couple of men who climbed out of their windows on to a window sill when they were young - they survived and grew up to be quite normal, neither has climbed Everest either!

He sounds like he has lots of excess energy that he needs to burn off. Could he start some activity, lockdown permitting, even an obstacle course set up in the garden, bike rides, running the streets, with an adult obviously to wear him out.