I don't feel love for grandchild

I think they will grow on you gradually, and eventually you will love them in spite of yourself.

Crikey juanna61, what a thing to worry about!

I didn't even feel instant love for my own children (I find small babies quite creepy and frog-like, I'm afraid) although, of course I was concerned for their health and welfare.

I do like older babies and children far more. The love came gradually - that's how I am - there's no set (or instant) 'right way' to feel about things!

He/she isn't a person to you yet, just a theoretical concept. As your daughter's bump grows and she lets you feel him give a good kick, he will start to seem more real, and when he is born and there to see in the flesh you can start to relate to him properly. Don't get worried about how you "should" feel, just go with the flow. Show your daughter and son-in-law that you are pleased for them and enjoy with them the planning and looking forward that will be going on. Nature will sort it out!

I love my children. I wasn't ready for them to have mates, but I do love my daughter's boyfriend.

That is the nub of the dilemma. You just havn't taken on board that your children are now grown up and capable of reproducing their own children.

Do not worry about it, you presumably have some months to get used to it before the child is born. Do not worry if you do not immediately fall in love with your grandchild whenyou forst see them. I wanted to be a grandparent. I had more or less given up of it happening at all, as both DS and DDiL were heading for 40.

Yet when DGD arrived, my feelings about her were very ambivalent and i did not immediately bond with her. But as she passed from newborn to infant to baby and began to be responsive that bond came into existence. 13 years later we are really close.

Don't over think this juanna the baby is not even here yet so you are creating stress for yourself. Not everyone love babies but your daughter's child will be a very special baby believe me.

It sounds like the problem is you’re either not ready to be a grandma or that you’re not comfortable with your children having independent adult lives with long term partners. I wouldn’t make that obvious unless you want to do irreparable harm to the relationship.

TRUST me when I say " wait until baby get's here!
I have two grandsons they are about 8 years apart when my second one was on his way I felt like I could not love another grandson the way I love my first, BUT the moment that second grand baby was born it was immediate love.... and I believe it will be for you too, in fact I hope that you will come here and let us know when your grandchild is born, how much you love he or she!!!

The baby hasn't arrived yet, wait until this baby arrives.

A wise midwife once said to me that "every baby brings its own love with it".

I don’t like babies, I didn’t like my small babies much. But as they grow you learn to love them for who they are. Grandchildren are much the same!

it's their lives.
you cannot choose to be/ not be a grandparent.
and by the way, maybe it's a nuance, or got lost in translation ?
but i think it may lead to misunderstanding if you say you love your daughter's boyfriend.
as for not liking young babies, well it will not be your baby. as long as its parents love it, that's enough.
don't worry about what you cannot control.
you don't have to take on child-care duties.

You will maybe feel differently when it’s born, but I doubt that everybody feels the instant rush of love some people experience.
Whatever you do, I’d pretend to be pleased for the parents, and that you’re looking forward to the baby, because I expect they’ll be very upset if not.
And keep on pretending once it’s arrived. They do say that babies bring their own love with them, so ?.

I didn't especially find myself 'over the moon'
when my DD was expecting, but when she had my grandson I was so excited. I worked in the maternity unit at the time (in the office) but it was my day off and when my SIL told me she was in labour I couldn't get there quick enough. Saw him born....magical.

Don’t over think it. Act as you’re expected to act for the moment - congratulate the parents to be and keep your feelings to yourself.
Hopefully you’ll build a relationship- they’re only babies for a very short while!

As Doodle has said "Wait until it's born".

You may feel entirely differently. Let's hope so.

I don't think I could feel love for an unborn child but I could feel concern.

Wait till it’s born. The concept of being a grandparent is different to actually being one.
Also you’ve just found out. You haven’t had time to adapt and think about it yet. I hope when the time arrives you find that love within you.

I mean the I havnt felt love for babies, they are cute, but the felling isn't there.