Son and family have moved

Hopeful9 Private messages will be in your inbox in the top right hand corner of the screen ..,. not sure if you realised as you said in your message "if that is even an option"

I was initially going to reply to the poster but I read on and see there are others in similar situations so this is directed towards all of you who are trying to adjust to this loss. I myself just recently found out our youngest daughter and husband and their daughter will be moving. Too far to drive for a quick visit so it will mean flying there and therefore a stay of a few days. I'm a weeping mess too and can't even imagine not seeing our little granddaughter regularly. Of course we will miss our daughter too but my heart hurts for our granddaughter because in addition to missing her, I am hurting because I'm sure she will miss her grandparents and cousins. My heart aches at the thought that she might be sad. She is an only child and being an only child myself, I know how lonely that can be. I am in tears now as I write this. I sure can't offer any advice to those going through this hecause I can barely cope myself. I'm new on here and this is my first post or comment I guess I should say but if any of you want to chat privately, if that is even an option, I would be okay with that. I chose my user name because I'm hopeful this awful pain will go away in time and I hope the same for all of you.

Nanny2020 the original poster appears to have disappeared!

I am in the same position as I said up thread. I expect it will get easier, at the moment its a case of getting through the missing them, changing routines and over time, developing new routines! Glad that you have found it has got better.

I totally understand the hole this leaves !! It’s so difficult you miss them terribly at first . last Feb my son and his wife did the same thing I posted about it on here .They had lived with us due to Covid and came when my gd was 1 month old and stayed for 11 months . Our interactions were constant and I loved it . The tears of missing them gradually dry up and you realize you have more time for you and friends especially now that Covid numbers are down and vaccinations are in place !
Do you drive?
Mine live 2.5 hours away too and I’ve been for a visit overnight 3 times now .
It does get better and you will always have a special bond .

Thanks for telling me Madgran. Hopefully you’ll be able to visit soon. When your family get some good internet it will be much better for you. We’ve used the internet to keep in touch with New Zealand so hopefully you’ll have less trouble getting a good connection in this country. Wherever they are we miss them don’t we? I don’t remember feeling this way when they went off to university, but I guess I always knew they would be coming home. When the eldest went to Australia for the best part of a year, I missed him but coped, then the middle one went to Sri Lanka for two years. Again I missed him, but coped, but when my youngest went to do her elective in The Philippines, I left the airport in tears. She was only going for three months too. Maybe because she was the baby, or I was more worried because she was a girl. That’s sexist though, and I worried about the boys too. But I asked her husband to look after her as they left for New Zealand, ‘Look after her, she’s my baby girl.’ And we all cried. It’s the price we pay for love.

My family have moved towards the South West maddy. Neither of my grandchildren are keen on Skype/Zoom...they got put off during lockdown as the signal kept breaking up and. At the moment they don't have Internet set up, we tried WhatsApp and it kept cutting out! Ah well it will work out in the end!

Yes the daft weeping is just a pain in the neck, ridiculous really! Oh well!!

I know it's not the same, curlyclarkia but at least we do have the advantages of technology today.
Hopefully it won't be too long before you can see them again.

I did find years ago that Skype was difficult but things have improved so much since then for most areas, although not all as the internet, the phone lines go down with annoying frequency.

I’m sending you lots of love and hugs. I know how you feel and you will get over it. Try and plan your days around things that you enjoy doing. Just think of the lovely visits you will have in the future.

Madgran the weepiness is so hard isn’t it? You feel in control and then some small thing reminds you and the eyes fill up. Where are your family Madgran?

Callistemon I really feel for you and others who haven’t seen their family for so long. Thank you for your kind words Madgran. I am finding it really difficult, although we’ve already done lots of FaceTime calls, and we’ve bought a television portal which means we can see then on th television. They also have one, but they’re doing a tour of the North Island before they settle to their jobs, so they’re not using theirs yet. I definitely recommend getting a television portal, for curlyclarkia too, as it makes it easier for the children to see you. I nearly always wake up to new photographs sent via WhatsApp and little messages. It’s very hard, I miss my daughter so much that it hurts. And the children who we did so much childcare for right from birth. So I would say to curlyclarkia make sure you have regular contact with the children via FaceTime or some other way where they can see you. I know how much you will miss them. Make arrangements for a visit so you’ve got it in your diary, and try to do that after every visit so you’ll always have the next visit to look forward to. It must help to know when you will see them again. Unfortunately, like Callistemon we can’t make any arrangements to visit yet. It will be easier when we can. And they may decide to just do the two years and then come home. We don’t know yet.

I can only imagine how you must feel. I'm sure as time passes it will get easier. They'll be lots of opportunities to visit and those times will be wonderful. Wish you all the best.

Such a big adjustment for you. I hope that you slot into a new routine soon.

How wonderful that you were able to help them out for so long.

Have you all tried video calling? Skype or Microsoft teams or Zoom or facetime? I know it isn't the same but it really does make a difference to see how your loved ones are physically to see them happy and smiling to see inside their home and know they are ok is really quite reassuring

It is hard though living away from family xx Just be kind to yourself

maddyone Yes that is hard for you. I am just expressing my sadness, sometimes one just has to feel something and then move on, I know that.

I sympathise with you, so far away and with Covid so inaccessible.

It is hard when they are so far away, maddyone and, with Covid still around, even if we wanted to make the journey, we couldn't.

I’m sorry, that sounds a bit harsh, but you should look on the bright side, you’ll be seeing them again very soon. I don’t know when we’ll see ours again.

Yes it’s difficult for you, but mine left three weeks ago for New Zealand. You’re lucky it’s only two and a half hours away and still in the same country.

we kind of slowly adjust our lives around them don't we? School drop offs and pick ups, back for tea and listening to them practice their reading books etc. And over time, strong and loving bonds are forged that leave a gaping hole when they move away. But they'll be missing you every bit as much as you're missing them. You'll find a way to keep those bonds, even if it means hitting the motorway every few weeks. flowers

Spot on Chewbacca!

You have been a supportive mum and gran. Try to find any local groups you could join in your local area. This will fill the extra time you have now. Catch up with friends you might not have seen for a while.
You could research transportation routes unless you drive. When you do visit your family you will be familiar with the journey. Pamper yourself you deserve it.

Ah! It takes very little to sew the seeds of bafflement and confusion in me these days*Madgran*, so thanks for clarifying. The position that both you and curlyclarkia are in is very difficult and I'm sorry your both upset. Thing is; we kind of slowly adjust our lives around them don't we? School drop offs and pick ups, back for tea and listening to them practice their reading books etc. And over time, strong and loving bonds are forged that leave a gaping hole when they move away. But they'll be missing you every bit as much as you're missing them. You'll find a way to keep those bonds, even if it means hitting the motorway every few weeks.

...and apologies curlyclarkia PM me if you want to chat about our similar situations!

No it is me being particularly mad!!! Exactly the same has happened to me in last few weeks with son and family moving about 3 hours away. I also looked after my grandchildren weekly and am missing them dreadfully ..read the post and it certainly touched a nerve. I then replied as if people were talking to me omitting to say that I was referring to my own situation and very rudely not acknowledging the OPs sadness! I really do need to get a grip don't I!! It is very unlike me!

I'm confused. Is curlyclarkia and Madgran77 one and the same poster or do 2 posters have the same problem?

Give it time, it is hard to change what you are used to

No you are right, it isn't bad at all, just different. Change is inevitable but I wish I could stop missing them so much. As I said I just need to get over myself really!