Major guilt over moving away

12 hours is a lot further than 2 or 4 so a bit misleading however lots of grandparents live much further away. Not sure about the state thing. Is there issues between states? You should do what you feel is best for you and your husband at this stage in life.

Sod em. Move and then spend their inheritance.

You need to do what makes you happy. The rest will sort itself out. It's fair to think you won't see your GC as often, of course. More distance tends to do that. I wouldn't feel guilty about moving if you decide that is what you want to do. If you stay, is there any guarantee your son's family won't move again anyway?

I wouldn't put it on DIL to have to organise the travel and make the effort to drive to see you though. That detail is your son's responsibility to sort if she isn't naturally inclined to make the same effort to drive to you as she does to her own parents.

I do wish graandparents would stop loading themselves with guilt and just get on and enjoy their lives. Your son's family didn't consult you before they moved two hours away and I am pretty sure they are not writhing with guilty feelings because they did what they did.

So you are going to move two hours away from this central location into another state, so what? You will only be 4 hours apart, as others have pointed out. Even by British standards that isn't that far. We and our son and family do a journey that long regularly to see each other.

How far apart you and your son are living, and it really isn't that far, has nothing to do with how much you and you son's family see each other. How much you see each other is a question of the relationship between the family members involved, the distance is merely a useful excuse to use to hide other problems.

Move where you want and then address the real family issues and certainly do not waste your time wallowing in guilt, I am sure that there are many more enjoyable and interesting things you can do with your time.

Can't add any more to Ali08's post.

I hope you will be happy in new town and home too.

If DiL is happy to drive to see her parents 2x a week, then surely they could fly to see you at half term or during holidays!
They could stay with you or nearby, depending on personal choice. And I'm sure the GC would love this!
You and your husband could visit them maybe for long weekends!
Go for the place you and your husband have fallen in love with, you've done your parenting now it's their time to consider you!!
Best luck with your move and I truly hope you're very happy there!!

I think asking if we moved out of state, would they come and visit is inevitably going to have a "where are you thinking" response.

90 mins flight is not a lot but 12 hrs drive definitely is.
I'd ignore it personally as you can still visit and once the children grow they can be put on the plane and come up to you.

If you've been away happily for 6 months, I think you can visit them every six months if need be.
Try not to stress, and enjoy the next chapter of your lives.

Do just as your son said..........do what makes YOU happy! It does rather sound as though your DIL wants you closer and there might be a hidden agenda in the form of childcare etc. DIL does sound somewhat manipulative to be honest and it's not her place to dictate where you and your OH live.
Be happy in your new home.

He was playing with the kids when she said that. And yes he can drive. LOL We’d be 12 hrs away or a 90 min plane ride. He had said before we left on our travels, that he knew we’d find a little place we’d want to move to and he was ok with that. He wanted us to be happy, but apparently she has a different thought.

If they don't want to be part of your lives then you could live next door and it wouldn't change that. What did your son say? Does he not drive?

Because they had moved away and gone on with bettering their lives, we didn’t feel guilty about doing the same, but we’d be more than a couple hours away. And yes, we do plan on visiting everyone, I was just talking about them not coming to visit us, or wanting to be a part of our lives. It’s just a sad situation.

Do what is right for you and your husband
If your daughter in law is tardy about visiting why can’t you visit them ? even if you stay in a B and B

They moved over 2 hrs away, so we felt it was ok for us to do the same
If you’re only 2 hours ( or even 4 hours away ) what’s the problem ? Perhaps I m reading it wrong ?