Late night messages

So what if all adults leave phones downstairs overnight... if there was an intruder or fire....how are they going to alert emergency services... unless they all have landlines or security wired to the police

My youngest was a young teen when PCs became widely available, and also fairly basic mobile phones.
I had the computer in the corner of the living room so I could keep an eye on things, and I confiscated her phone so often, that I swear she didn’t have it for longer than she did!
I was constantly worried and on one occasion was tempted to go to the police about some really graphic pictures she was sent, but decided they would probably laugh their heads off.
I didn’t understand it then, and I certainly can’t keep up with it now, we just have to do our best, while accepting it’s probably never going to be good enough

Heavens, he could be looking at anything! And, no, it's not the 2021 equivalent of us Grans reading a book under the covers! Visual matter is quite, quite different. (Unless your 11 year old GS has a very advanced and graphic imagination!) When my grandchildren are in my house either staying the night, or for a meal the no argument rule is mobiles are left on the hall table. I know that when I say, 'Leave your phone on the hall table' they hear 'Leave your severed arm on the hall table' but that's the rule. And, as they all appear to love coming here, I can't see the problem. As for telling your daughter, why not? Someone has to be the grown up these days.

Yes its best to tell your daughter. My friend's grandchildren are often caught on their gaming machines, this can be at 4am in the morning and then they complain they are too tired to go to school, headaches, tummy aches, etc. The mum mollycoddles them and let's them off school which I find insane. The machines would be out of their bedrooms pronto.

I would have a quiet word with your daughter and say not sure if you aware or not. I have a nearly 11yr old granddaughter and a step grandson also nearly a 11 but I’d definitely inform their parents. I no won’t have problem with granddaughter as her parents don’t allow her to use her phone after 8 and it as to stay downstairs. But step-grandson takes his in his room. But yes you don’t know who he’s talking to that late. You hear so many stories of children being groomed.

With WhatsApp. You have to have the app open then it shows “online” wether you are using it or not, until you log out.

I think I’m with Hithere, I don’t think it’s a good idea myself, but it’s not my decision, sadly I also think they have already been exposed to a lot of things I feel are inappropriate, but they can be accessed any time of the day or night.
I came down very heavy handed on two of my granddaughters last year for being on their laptops well into the night, and watching something really unsuitable.
Took their laptops and phones, the next day one granddaughter had her phone returned by her mum, the other one had hers taken away for a month.
I don’t like the way things are, but I think times are changing very fast indeed, and I’m getting left behind.

Totally agree HI954

My Mobile lies on my bedside cabinet overnight for safety's sake and because I use it as an easily set alarm. DGS, who sleeps in a downstairs annex, always has his mobile to hand o'night and sometimes uses it to play music if he can't sleep. DGD2, who has dyslexia often plays herself a 'bed-time story on hers. Mum or Dad checks on them before going to bed themselves and switches phone off if necessary.

As folks have said above, it is no different to reading in bed, with or without a torch under the blankets.

Some people, kids included, are night owls.

Could your gs be one of those people?

11 year olds have been exposed to way more than you think, they are not innocent flowers that need to be protected and sheltered in excess

11 pm is not that late anyway.

There is no evidence he is using the phone and/or his mother may let him have the cell at night

This is a job for the parents, not grandparents

H1954

Dylant1234

My daughter and her family, all adults now, always put their phones in the kitchen overnight when they go to bed and have done so for a number of years now. Any parent who allows an 11 year old to take their phone to bed needs to have a good think about their parenting!

Well said Dylan! No one in my family has a mobile phone in their bedroom at night either.
My children were brought up this way and in turn they apply the same parenting to their children.

I have no comment about children but long ago when I did fire safety at work, the retired fireman who took the courses asked us where we kepr our mobiles at night and we all said downstair on charge and he called us idiots. His point was if you need to call 999, how much easier and faster to do it from your bedroom where presumably you are, and if you need to evacuate before you call then you can grab your phone and don't have to go running around the house for it. he also had some words for people "who never carry their phone around indoors" He basically said if you are doing anything risky have your phone with you....how stupid to get stuck in the attic/fall off a ladder/cut yourself REALLY badly and not be able to call someone.....especially those of us who live alone......

Yes, your daughter ought to be told, he'll be falling asleep in class at that rate. He should hand his phone over to you or DD before going to bed.

Surely. If you could see he was online your daughter could too. Saying that, people have thought I was online even though I wasn't. Chances are he hadn't logged off.

Dylant1234

My daughter and her family, all adults now, always put their phones in the kitchen overnight when they go to bed and have done so for a number of years now. Any parent who allows an 11 year old to take their phone to bed needs to have a good think about their parenting!

Well said Dylan! No one in my family has a mobile phone in their bedroom at night either.
My children were brought up this way and in turn they apply the same parenting to their children.

Inform your daughter. She may /maybe not know. The rest is up to her.

I would mention it, but then I know my daughters. Same with DIL’s.

My daughter and her family, all adults now, always put their phones in the kitchen overnight when they go to bed and have done so for a number of years now. Any parent who allows an 11 year old to take their phone to bed needs to have a good think about their parenting!

My daughter and her children live with us at the moment, and I’m surprised she lets her eleven year old take her phone to bed, but obviously it’s up to her.
I’m surprised by some of the content on TikTok and WhatsApp, but I feel I’m probably just old fashioned.
Sad to see her exposed to so much, while she’s so young, but I can’t see there’s any going back.

Totally agree Franbern
My 13 year old grandsons stayed at the weekend and we always take their phones from them at bedtime to charge in our room. Some inevitable eye rolling but ......

Isn't this the modern day equivalent of reading a book under the bedclothes! If you can see he is online then I'm sure his mum can! But as someone said earlier, apps can glitch, showing you as active or online,when in fact you aren't!

At age 11, yes, I would tell his mum and dad. Better safe than sorry.

Surely, an 11-yealr old should not be taking his 'phone to his bedroom at night. All my g.children upto the age of about 16 years have to leave their 'phones downstairs 'charging' whent they go to bed.

if it's whatsapp it might be that it was pinging. It does my head in. Maybe tell his Mum and say, he knows he can turn it off/mute doesn't he?

My WhatsApp always shows online, as my cell is on, but I am not using it

But if you are aware he was online why do you think your daughter wasn’t aware
Doesn’t he live with her ?
I certainly wouldn’t interfere surely it’s up to his parents to monitor his phone time