Late night messages

Although I said upthread, that I would mention it, to be honest, as long as parents have discussions about the dangers of the internet etc, I can’t see 11pm being any more of a problem than 11am, other than he should just be asleep. That would have been as important 30/ 60 years ago. Childrens sleep requirements probably haven’t changed.

travelsafar I agree. Its a safety device when you are alone.

H1954 I totally agree and keep my phone with me at all times especially now i am alone. When i first came out of hospital and was in isolation it was my life line and security blanket. I still felt so ill and was worried all the time incase something happened, so my phone gave me a sense of 'you can contact someone and get help' If i am in the shower my phone is in an place i can reach it if i were to fall, it's on my bedside table at night, in my pocket when in the garden even when hanging out the washing. If i fell i would not be able to get up unaided. In fact i am thinking of buying one of those small body bags to put it in as not all my trousers have pockets. They are a godsend to people like me on our own.

I doubt that many people are unaware of the possible danger of the Internet, really. It has many advantages too, though.

In any case, WhatsApp is not the Internet, and as has been said now many times, being logged in and actively using the service are not the same thing.

As I said upthread, my grandmother used to tell tales, and it was awful. I would have resented it if my mother had monitored my parenting too. Reporting a grandson is suggesting that his parents are not exercising due diligence, and there is absolutely no way of knowing this from the fact that his status is set to online at night.

some people seem unaware of the possible dangers of giving children unsupervised internet access.
it's not so much the time spent, though that may be an issue.
what is so different now, is who is communicating with them, and what is being sent/seen.

i never log out of facebook so it would show me being online all the time even when i am out. maybe you should ask your grandson first, all it would take is a simple text asking why he was still up at 11pm and see what he says first, i know you want to say to your daughter but you will loose any trust you have with your grandson.

DiscoDancer1975

greenlady102

User7777

So what if all adults leave phones downstairs overnight... if there was an intruder or fire....how are they going to alert emergency services... unless they all have landlines or security wired to the police

yes i said that earlier up the thread. This is what our fire safety officer said. People who leave their phones downstairs at night are IDIOTS. Not my words, his.

Yes, we’ve started taking our mobiles upstairs at night. We never used to, because we’ve got a landline in the bedroom.
Then I thought, what if an intruder cuts the wire before he breaks in, or a fire burns it! Over active imagination maybe, but our mobiles are now with us. We even have a spare charger.

the day my late husband retired from his 24/7 on call job, I unplugged the bedroom landline phone and binned it.

Obviously no mobiles while my kids were growing up but I would have been mortified if my mother had been telling tales about my children
Why do you imagine that a child could only have a problem or read unsavoury things at night ?
People are saying it’s nothing like reading under the sheets but although the content of what they re reading (which can be read any time of the day) may be different I used to read till silly o’clock (under the bed covers and then wake up about 6 to finish off before I went to school and I also remember sneaking my little transistor under the covers and listening to a radio Luxemberg late into the night and I managed to pass my 11+ and my GCE s
I think it is up to his mum to be vigilant or not and not up to grandparents unless asked
(My mobile is always on my bedside table at night) my friend older than me always has hers to hand in her bathroom too in case she has a fall

Don't any of the grans worrying about intruders or fires in the night if their mobile phones aren't taped to their hands have landlines anymore? It's been a beautiful day today where I live but no one walking along my lovely treelined street seems to have noticed it. I work in a room in the front of my house and whenever I look out everyone walking by is staring at their phones, or tapping their phones. Even those pushing buggies with their children in them are ignoring them!

No. None of your business!

greenlady102

User7777

So what if all adults leave phones downstairs overnight... if there was an intruder or fire....how are they going to alert emergency services... unless they all have landlines or security wired to the police

yes i said that earlier up the thread. This is what our fire safety officer said. People who leave their phones downstairs at night are IDIOTS. Not my words, his.

Yes, we’ve started taking our mobiles upstairs at night. We never used to, because we’ve got a landline in the bedroom.
Then I thought, what if an intruder cuts the wire before he breaks in, or a fire burns it! Over active imagination maybe, but our mobiles are now with us. We even have a spare charger.

HiPpyChick57

Well said Greenlady my phone is in my pocket all day at work or home and then charges by the side of my bed at night. If there’s an emergency you need to be able to put your hand on it immediately!

well at least two of us are sensible!

I would query it as if you were checking it was okay for GS to be on-line at that time of night, you not being sure. If it's not best to have phone left out of room when GS is in bed.

Maybe it was his mother, logged onto the phone he had obediently left downstairs charging, checking what he'd been up to on it and who he had been chatting to.

it is nothing like reading books late under the covers.
it is more akin to going clubbing. by minors.
see eg,
www.talkmurderwithme.com/blog/2020/6/3/breck-bednar

Cells are not only to communicate with others - they are calendars, alarm clocks, email, school tools, lifestyle tools (setting up appointments, for example), music streaming devices, netflix/disney+/amazon/hulu, etc

Some parents use cells to track where their kids are, for safety

I am not sure in which world some posters live in.

Tell me which phones these days do not have internet connections - very few

The world is based on android and apple devices

Cells can have parental filters to control access to internet.
Even YouTube has an app for kids
Having access to a cell and internet doesnt mean the person is exposed to everything out there

The grandparent mega helicoptering displayed on this thread is astonishing.

I would be concerned that an 11 year old has a contract phone that allows internet access at any time, never mind at night. I would also be concerned that he is allowed to take his phone to his bedroom at any time at that age. Phones should be used in spaces at home where there are adults to supervise an 11 year old. At bedtime the phone should be switched off and put away. No wonder kids are stressed, suffering mental health issues and surfing unsuitable material, in the main adult content when there is no supervision from parents.

I have an 11 year old grandson he’s not allowed his phone to take to bed it’s left charging overnight downstairs

Well said Greenlady my phone is in my pocket all day at work or home and then charges by the side of my bed at night. If there’s an emergency you need to be able to put your hand on it immediately!

Kim19

I would try to gently or jokingly bring it up with GC but certainly wouldn't tell the Mum. Would that not be tantamount to telling tales and maybe jeopardising a good relationship with GC? No way would do that.

I agree.

I am obviously not an 11 year old, but I would be absolutely furious to think that someone was checking up on me and telling others about what I thought I was doing in private. It would completely destroy my relationship with them. I would have felt the same at 11, too.

My grandmother did tell tales on us, and it was awful, as on the whole she didn't have the full story, and it was horribly intrusive.

If you really must get involved, why not have a word with your grandson, and ask him what he was going? The chances are that he will ask how you know, though, so I'd be prepared for that question.

I would try to gently or jokingly bring it up with GC but certainly wouldn't tell the Mum. Would that not be tantamount to telling tales and maybe jeopardising a good relationship with GC? No way would do that.

I would have a quiet but gentle word with your gs first.
If that fails tell him again gently that you will have a chat with his mom.

Nannashirlz

I would have a quiet word with your daughter and say not sure if you aware or not. I have a nearly 11yr old granddaughter and a step grandson also nearly a 11 but I’d definitely inform their parents. I no won’t have problem with granddaughter as her parents don’t allow her to use her phone after 8 and it as to stay downstairs. But step-grandson takes his in his room. But yes you don’t know who he’s talking to that late. You hear so many stories of children being groomed.

does grooming only happen at night?

User7777

So what if all adults leave phones downstairs overnight... if there was an intruder or fire....how are they going to alert emergency services... unless they all have landlines or security wired to the police

yes i said that earlier up the thread. This is what our fire safety officer said. People who leave their phones downstairs at night are IDIOTS. Not my words, his.