Would you knit any more gifts?

Your question about do young couples want hand knitted clothes is a bit like 'do you like marmite'. My DD loves things I knit or sew and most of her friends do too. They really cherish them, especially cardigans. However I do know some new mums who turn their noses up at anything handmade. On your other point. Initially my thought about the not sending a thank you was that I find now a lot of mums wait to get little photo cards to send out to everyone, and this can be a couple of months before they can get them organised. However given the lack of thank you for the wedding gift it looks like sadly that this may be the way they deal with presents. I have to say I think is it really silly for another family member to send out thank you cards for them. If they haven't done it themselves then there is no point in someone else doing it and really embarrassing if they do eventually send them to then find out that someone has already done it. As long as I know someone has received their gift I am happy with that. I always taught my DCs to write thank you letters/cards but I only think my DD does now. My boys have given up and are too old to be spoken to about it. They are not good about sending cards in general especially the youngest who doesn't even send birthday or Christmas cards. But they are grown up now and have to do what they are comfortable with.

I knitted many jumpers and cardigans for my own children until they were about nine years old and years later made cardigans for grand-daughters, My daughter kept most of these and the much younger five year old now wears them at times when needed. I have been asked to make a cardigan especially for the youngest but sadly, had to say that knitting meant aching fingers now.

Doodledog
I so agree with you as I have the same issue.

I think you nailed it valdali: “presents are gifts for recipients not a social IOU.”
From many of the earlier posts on this thread I do rather wonder why the posters have given the gifts in the first place. Was it just because they wanted to be kind to the recipient or was it to make themselves feel good for having done “the right thing”? Life in 2021 is not the same as it was in 1921. Values change. Old habits need to be constantly questioned. Hopefully we learn from our mistakes.
It’s always nice to be thanked but should thanks really be expected as part of the deal?

Difficult to understand why they haven’t thanked anyone for anything? - has your sister said anything about it? Even with a new baby, life in general under Covid hasn’t been exactly busy! Unless of course there have been problems of some sort? Are they all well? On the face of it, it sounds very rude- and lacking in manners and appreciation of someone’s hard work, thought, and caring - a text takes seconds and pictures also whizz through on WhatsApp- there is no excuse - as I said - on the face of it. Good luck x I would certainly ask your sister if all is well.

I sort of think, if you want to give a gift, especially to a new baby in the family, that's lovely and go ahead and do it. If you expect to be thanked for your gift, to me that takes away from the generosity of the impulse. Lovely as it is to get thank you notes, stamps are exorbitant these days & few people write - texts & emails have less etiquette than letters once did & people might not think to use them to say thank you. I don't personally think its rude not to say thank you. I also don't think that getting a note saying how thrilled they are, and not hearing at all, are any indication of how much your gift is appreciated - no-one's going to write to say " thank you but we don't want any more". & they may be using them lots, but didn't occurr to them to write thank-yous. If you want to give, give: very generous of you and the chances are it will be appreciated. Don't be hurt if you don't hear back, presents are gifts for recipients not a social IOU.

Natasha76. You have a gift of £10,000 and she never even thanked you? I’m flabbergasted!

I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that they are just really busy at the moment but I don't think I would send any more clothes. If you enjoy knitting, as others have said why not use the surplus wool and donate what you make to charity.

I think they are very rude too. It’s not much to ask . I find lots of excuses are made for the young it’s about time they really did show some manners ..

yes indeed it is :-( I often wonder if my daughter actually gives my grandchildren the gifts I send .... it's so demoralising having to take photos of everything before I send them - crazy that I feel I have to do this but it is at it is :-(

You have my total sympathy Antonia - you are certainly not alone in feeling unappreciated. I have been sending gifts, cards, letters to my three grandchildren via my daughter for the past 5 years since she alienated me and she has never once responded. It's very disheartening to be cruelly unacknowledged like this but sadly, it's this entitled generation who have no thought for anyone else except themselves. Like you, I can't seem to stop myself sending gifts as they're my grandchildren after all and they're children. Sadly, it's highly unlikely you will receive a response :-(

GraceQuirrel

Modern families are not too bothered by knitted outfits any more. And it is technically summer (though pouring with rain here atm).

I think some are - crochet and knitting are rather trendy at the moment, amongst young people too.

It's worth asking first, though, before embarking on a project which may not be appreciated.

Love your username, btw!

I gave up giving gifts to friends after I had a gift made specially for a friend, and eventually I was told it had been put in a drawer. I was quite taken aback.
My grandchildren do actually thank me for gifts or money. Usually by text, but that is fine. Two of them live abroad anyway, and my eldest grandson has left home.
As for knitting, you would be surprised how popular hand-knitted garments can be, and there are some lovely modern patterns around now. I knit sweaters for my eldest granddaughter from a pattern I used for myself in the 60’s. She loves them, and she is 18!

When my grandson was born three years ago my daughter had lovely thank you cards made with a photo of the baby on the front which was lovely
she kept a list of who gave what and wrote a little comment inside each card.

Modern families are not too bothered by knitted outfits any more. And it is technically summer (though pouring with rain here atm).

I think a curt reminder is in order.

How thoughtless and rude.

Sorry, no excuse.

I would be very upset if they did that to me.

Text or phone and ask them straight out.
I’m sure you know what to say, if given the opportunity.

I have been thinking lately, that I won’t bother to buy anyone a gift or give anyone money again, because I never get any thanks you, or acknowledgements. I actually find it hurtful my family never say thanks.

I love knitting too but nowadays mums prefer easy to wash and wear stuff. I have knitted many items and gave them to Save the Children to be given to refugees etc. I know they would have been much appreciated.

I agree with others ..call or text, ask how the mother of the baby is doing, hiw they are adjusting to a bigger family etc ...and see if your gift is mentioned..If not,really wouldn't bother in the future. If so, offer to to do more and see what reaction is.

My grown up kids were brought up to thank everyone for presents & cards.I thanked everyone for them & when they could draw a picture I sent this as a thank you& when they could write they did their own thank you cards. They are in there 30’s now & always sent a thank you weather it’s a card or a text. I could never understand why my niece & nephew never said thank you for gifts but then when they became teenagers they started to say thank you , sometimes I think it’s the parents fault for not making them say thank you because children don’t know any different

My daughter has just had a baby and hadn’t had time to reply with thank you’s but it is on her to do list

I might add is she touched by everyone’s thoughts and feels guilty she hasn’t got round to it yet - but hopefully they will understand

I had the same issue with my GD, no text or call for items made. Imagine my surprise when being introduced to her baby my 1st GGD the blanket I had made was being used. I get what you say about knitted clothes but I think if you knitted say a hoodie type top in a modern colour that is machine washable for the autumn months it probably would be used. I think delicat matinee jackets are a thing of the past. I googled modern baby patterns and got ideas from there on styles plus the colours younger people would be happy with.

Ladies that love knitting, might like to knit wool blankets for the animal sanctuary's and some vets are in need for the sick animals.
Todays children don't need anything, they are already over indulged and spoilt. The parents will find the error of there ways in the years ahead.

As a Great Grandmother now, I also know how rude and ignorant this present generation can be. Not all of course, I have very polite adult grandchildren on my Son's side,. But my granddaughter on my daughters side can be rude and ignorant, she receives cards and gifts from the family and seldom says thankyou, and recent years forgets my birthday card also a Xmas card. I decided I was not letting this go. I phoned her and said I thought she should know I hadn't received, first, my Birthday card and thought she should check with her local post office and at the same time tell them my Xmas card had gone missing. She pretended to be surprised that I hadn't received the cards. I had already heard from other people in the family that they hadn't received cards. She is 24yrs old, not a teenager. A few days later I received a Birthday card from her which she had gone out and bought quickly. Sadly all the resect and thought for other people has almost disappeared, parents no longer teach there children these meaningful things. Schools could help by teaching the little ones what good manners are, but I guess that would be wrong in this ridiculous society

Regardless of whether they want knitted clothes or not, they should still thank you for the gifts.

Could you perhaps send a little note (or a text) to ask if they had received the gifts?