Should I say something?

I probably would have felt the same as Edge26, but also know I wouldn't say anything because it's their business and they will do as they please whatever. However, for me as a child and as an adult, if I have/had had a cold, the last thing I would want is to be outside in the cold. I just don't get that theory - and never had it dealt to me when small. Give me a snuggly throw on the sofa anytime!!

Yes it’s what us grandparents do. We fuss and worry about our grandkids. Would I have gone running to the other parent because didn’t like reply from my son. No chance I would have except what he said. You could have caused a fight between them. Or them together against yourself. You have to remember he’s there child not yours what you would do and what they would do are different.

I don't know about old-fashioned. My brother had pneumonia at the age of 2, seventy years ago. And part of the convalescence was to take him to the beach in early April, strip him down and let him run around.

I would have done the same. You had his best interests at heart. Being outside can be beneficial but allowing a 2 year old just wearing a nappy in chilly weather - Lazy parenting springs to mind!

I was sent outside and to school as a child. My Mum wouldn't keep me off school unless I had an infectious disease, such as Chickenpox

I find it incredible that a grandparent has got to be so careful about what they say to their children. I say it as it is and my son is intelligent enough not to take offence at such an insignificant thing.

DIL agreed with MiL and asked for some clothes to be put on the child so how can anything be wrong with saying that you think the little one who has a cold and a cough ought not to be outside with no clothes on when it’s a bit chilly this week. The little boy has been in the care of his grandmother for a few hours so she must have a good idea how he’s feeling.

I would definitely have asked if it was alright for the little boy to be outside with no clothes on when he has a cold and a cough and the idea that my son or my DIL might take offence at something so trivial is just insane.

I agree the child should be dressed, especially outside with a cold.
But to be honest it’s really not your business
Find it bad you mentioned to both parents too
Bite your tongue a bit harder!!!

I would probably have done the same as you to be honest in a questioning way. 'Do you want him out in the garden with no clothes on?" That's not being old fashioned, it's continuing the care you felt for them during the rest of the day.

Yes I’d have said something about GC going out with no clothes if I’d have thought it was too cold but, dressed properly, would’ve been happy for him to get fresh air. And I agree I shouldn’t have said anything either - just can’t keep quiet! My AC and I have a deal - we can say what we think if it’s important, and the other doesn’t take offence, but equally they don’t have to take any notice.

Whether you should or should not have said what you did, really depends on your relationship with your son and DIL.

Apparently your DIL agreed with you that the child should have some clothes on.

To me it sounds as if she is the main authority regarding the children and their care and that your son is okay with this.

We were allowed out play if we had colds, but kept in if we were running a temperature - however times change, so it is probably as well you didn't query him being allowed out to play.

I would have felt justified in saying the same as you, knowing full well that the response might be slightly huffy.

Why are you ‘telling tales’ on your son to his wife? If he thought it was OK, then there is no more to be said. However, when you are looking after your grandsons it’s your house, your rules.

Whinging not winging!

I think you are risking backlash if you ask one parent, then ask the other when you don't like the answer. Your son has as much right to make the decision about how to treat his child as the child's mother so to pit them against each other is out of order.
There are different schools of thought about the fresh air with colds but it strikes me as being the healthier approach to take indicators from the child who is acting on instinct rather than pre-conceived ideas. I know from personal experience that when I was too ill to play outside, it was very obvious.

At 13 months in the summer (even a chilly summer) he's ok to run around outside without a nappy or trousers - or even stark naked - cold or no cold. Bare bottoms are a good way to start potty training. If he was ill with the cold he'd be feeling under the weather and winging and not wanting to run around outside anyway. I don't think I'd have bothered to say anything. They have an older child so aren't parent novices.

I wouldn’t have said anything, it’s not your place to criticise your son and dil parenting, outside in freSh air is fine

If the Mummy sees the child outside and she wants to put clothes on him she will do it. Don't say anything .

I agree with GreenLady102. He was probably happier out in the fresh air than cooped up indoors. Our kids played out in all weathers even if they had colds, in fact they very rarely had colds. Try not to mollycoddle him Edge26

When to say and not to say is so, so tricky.
When I hear what D and SIL say about his parents occasionally, I assume they discuss me the same way - i.e. if I say something to one of them it gets back to the other.

So if I think it's serious or important I say it quite bluntly (when I try to be diplomatic I'm told I just sound patronising) and then shut up. If not, I try to let it go. If I am not sure, I tend to say nothing or something non commital such as 'oh dear.'

Your post touches on something else - why do we beat ourselves up afterwards about what we have said or not said?

Kryptonite

You just showed you care. This time of year it's not cold outside and fresh air is to be recommended. Parenting ideas change over time. I bite my tongue a lot!! ?

Me too - constantly

A cold is a viral infection. Getting cold and wet has no effect whatsoever on a virus. I’m in my 70s and have never heard of keeping children inside when they have a cold. I’m sorry, OP, but you need to keep your mouth zipped. Mine is zipped a lot with my DGC.

Today 12:15 H1954

I would be more concerned about a child being outside and naked from the waist down than the fact that they have a cold to be honest. Alright, so the old was in the parents garden but that does not make it right, they could be overlooked, people have zoom lenses, drones etc and think nothing of taking photos of kiddies without clothes.

Pleeeez Don’t look at the entire neigh hood as potential child molesters ! Kids should be able play in their own gardens buck naked if they like, especially so little ! Mine all played in paddling pools in our garden, with me sitting outside, when they were little often naked bar sunscreen and a sun hat !!

I would probably have said, little Jonny’s playing out in the rain, shall I pop a t-shirt on him and then gone along with whatever answer

The issue here is not being old fashioned it’s being passive aggressive - the phrase “0h well you’re his parent” is just thst - it’s really saying - you’re wrong but it’s not my place to interfere but then you did just that - you snitched on him to his wife!! Forget the mild coughs and colds and going out just in a nappy - and give some thought to the method of communication and sustaining the relationship is my advice

What you do with the grandchildren in your own home is up to you, but as you were in your son and DiL’s home you should say nothing. Their home, their business.

Accept that as the grandparent you can't do right for doing wrong! I always say nothing unless asked but there was once one situation where I'd said nothing but was told Well why didn't you say something!!! .